Discussion Anyone wish they had ctb in their teens?

[sweet_oblivion]

I know teen suicide is frowned upon but honestly if I could go back I would just end it there when I had initially wanted to. Knowing that it doesn't "get better" and only gets horrendously worse. In fact, all that carrying on for longer does is bring more people into the situation and make it more messy, as well as having to watch yourself fade even further into your darkest state.
Obviously I would only do this if I had appropriate knowledge of methods (back then my idea of suicide was run a bath, two vertical cuts and lights out which isn't exactly how cutting usually goes).
I'm curious on what everyone else things about this. If you could go back, would you end it then to minimise your suffering? Or have you gained anything valuable from your life in the years in between?

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I do wish I ctb when I was younger, but more than anything I wish that I was never born in the first place. The sooner I would have left this world, the more suffering that I would have prevented. Things did only get worse for me over the years. Now I am 21 and I feel like I have suffered enough.

I have never wanted to live and when I was a teenager I was very suicidal, but I feel like there was no way I could have succeeded back then. I still cannot ctb and I feel trapped in this world as it is so difficult to leave. All that I want is to pass away peacefully without having to go through the process of ctb.
I have not gained anything valuable from life, life is only suffering and being alive is the most pointless thing ever.

 

[juraviel]

no the longer you stick around the longer your family and pets will get to have with you. that matters. so i'm hoping to last as long as I can hopefully until my parents pass that'd be ideal

 

[Talvikki]

Yes!!!

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I didn't have any suicidal tendencies in my teens. Time and life is what brought me to where I am. I don't wish I would have ended back then, really. I had a few good times early on in my life, and if I would have left back then, I wouldn't have gotten to experience them.

hopefully until my parents pass that'd be ideal

Yeah, I wanted to go about 25 years ago, but sort of just hung around formy parents, too. My dad passed about twenty years ago and I helped him as much as I could. My mom just passed last year and I helped her over the last months she was here. I'm glad I did. It's been hard, sometimes, sticking around, for me. But, now I can do what I need to as soon as I get some of my affairs in order. I figure I've managed to stick around twenty years that I really didn't want to, so how bad can several more months, no more than a year, be?

 

[Journeytoletgo]

It only got worse for me. If I known of CTB in my teens I would have CTB in my teens and if I had a reliable method I would have also. Now it's worse because I feel my abusers will win (the men I been with)

 

[TheBigGuiltHaver]

I wouldn't have had the ability to, and it'd probably be much worse than my current situation as far as hurting my loved ones, but I absolutely wish I went in my teens. Could have saved from so much damn trouble that has occurred for me and could've saved a few people in my current situation from having to hurt from my passing, at least I don't have to hurt my mom now, I'm definitely glad for that.

 

[Hollowman]

I wish I would've went through with it decades ago it's just been a pointless struggle.

 

[deleted]

yes i should have done it at 12,13 years old so much suffering and i got nowhere just accumulating hate and sadness

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

No

It only got better after that. I'm very grateful to have lived after that

 

[Wizard999666]

My peak was during my early twenties, I had a good time. I feel that the appropriate time to go is now. I'm way too sick to carry on.

 

[I need peace]

Yes, I wish I had ctb as an early teen or even at my first attempt at 9, I feel like life hasn't been easier from then and all I have is regrets. I definitely wish I'd catch that damn bus sooner

 

[To CTB or not CTB]

Yes, I didn't care as much about the fallout and wouldn't have as many resulting consequences of death as much as I do now.

 

[Lost Magic]

yes, but my mother already lost a son. It would have been too much.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

yes, but my mother already lost a son. It would have been too much.

Mine died , a huge weight went off of me around CTB after that. No one is left alive that I care about enough

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Yes. As time passes, I'm losing more and more of myself. I'm hoping to get it over with as quickly as possible.

 

[Lost Magic]

Mine died , a huge weight went off of me around CTB after that. No one is left alive that I care about enough

I feel the same way too. I am just addressing a few things and then I just want to lay down and sleep forever.