Anyone who has absolutely no friends?

[Dear Agony]

Zero friends. The main reason is my severe agoraphobia (basically, I panic whenever I leave my house. It's a mental illness) Been homebound for 5 years now. But I do have other conditions that would make friendships pretty much impossible.
I miss having friends. But I've already made up my mind for years when it comes to CTB, so I'll continue avoiding friendships like the plague. It took me a long time to come to terms with losing my old friends already, I don't want to go through that again.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I think personal relationships play a huge part in a healthy lifestyle and knowing I'm essentially barred from that gives me little hope for the future

THIS

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

I have only one friend. I used to have two but we got in arguments and they threw ad hominems at me so I ended the friendship. The friend i have right now ignores me sometimes though, which bothers me.

All I can say is, having friends isn't all that its made out to be. Its a lot of work and can also be a lot of trouble. I prefer having no friends so i can just mind my own business and dont have to deal with any bullshit.

 

[Marktheghost]

I've not had any friends since about 2003!
I haven't really even got any acquaintances anymore! It's so frustrating having noone to talk to! I wish I had someone to share my life with!

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Or there are people are super close to me who I can trust…which is down to not very many these days.

As much as I wish I didn't, I believe you're right that many friendships are shallow and unreliable. Hope you don't mind me observing that you seem to have someone you'd consider a trustworthy friend. Maybe one person you can count on is enough? I think for other people, not ever having someone to talk to openly, someone to check in on them even just once a month for a few minutes, knowing they don't matter to anyone--pushes them out of life. Anyway, I'm honestly glad you have at least one person you can connect with.

 

[Quiet Desperation]

Alienated the one person who loved me for who I am and there is no going back. The few that are left mostly check to make sure I'm still alive and after they know that there isn't much to say. Wouldn't call it friendship, and otherwise I've been totally alone for years unless you count foster animals.

 

[Panna]

Never had a friend expect for when I was in kindergarten, And it absolutely breaks me inside every time I see a friend group or couples going on about in public, Makes me irrationally angry

Exactly this, it is one of the most enraging stuff out there. Makes me worry I might go off on one one of these days myself.

 

[TriggerHappy]

☆ but what is your definition of "friend"?
》》》 so loaded with conditions // expectations // dissapointments // fears // biases // attatchments // .etc

》》 just because u share my heart & bed :: doesn't mean u share my head...





Eye to eye stand winners and losers
Hurt by envy, cut by greed
Face to face with their own disillusions
The scars of old romances still on their cheeks
And when blow by blow
The passion dies sweet little death
Just have been lies
Some memories of gone by times would still recall the lies

The first cut won't hurt at all
The second only makes you wonder
The third will have you on your knees
You start bleeding I start screaming

It's too late the decision is made by fate
Time to prove what forever should last
Whose feelings are so true as to stand the test?
Whose demands are so strong as to parry all attempts?
And when blow by blow
The passion dies sweet little death
Just have been lies
Some memories of gone by times will still recall the lies

The first cut won't hurt at all
The second only makes you wonder
The third will have you on your knees

 

[Riddles]

I'd say, if you do not have friends, spend time with your acquaintances and talk to them.. socializing makes you feel better. I only have one friend who I meet occasionally now, but for me it is better if you go way beyond those and spend time with more friends... Your life will be wayy better, and you can come out satisfied in life. But oh well.. as for me, I need to think things through because I'm in the midst of poverty and I hate it. It's a totally different subject.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have no friends. I do not want any friends. I do not like people very much. I am very introverted. I prefer being on my own. People can hurt you and cause you pain. I see it as better to stay away from others. In general, I cannot relate to others. I am very quiet.
I used to have one friend like 7 years ago or something. I ended the friendship. It was causing me extreme stress. I wonder if she still remembers me. I hope not.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Yeah I have zero friends and social contacts outside of my family and gf. No online friends, don't even talk to anyone on here.

 

[Manaaja]

I had two friends, both moved away some years ago so I could only meet them rarely. Then the other turned out to be a gaslighting narcissist, so I cut them from my life. The other person refuses to meet me because she has a corona phobia. She works at a school and has taken a million stabs yet refuses to hang out with me because "What if I catch corona, transfer it to my husband and he dies?". Her corona phobia doesn't prevent her from working at a school and hanging out with 300 maskless, unvaccinated teens and teachers, but prevents her from meeting her friends shaking my head.

There was this one woman, I wasn't friends with her, but I did use to go with her on dog walks, but after she got a boyfriend (or manfriend), her behavior changed and now she pretends she doesn't know me. Some others have said the same thing about her, I happened to hear. I wonder why she does that.

Someone of you are almost like friends to me. Almost. A lot of you are good people and I'd be happy to be friends with you, but it's hard to be friends when we are all suicidal people living in different countries.

 

[TriggerHappy]

There was this one woman, I wasn't friends with her, but I did use to go with her on dog walks, but after she got a boyfriend (or manfriend), her behavior changed and now she pretends she doesn't know me. Some others have said the same thing about her, I happened to hear. I wonder why she does that.

I know! I know!
It's because she's a bitch, and I ain't talking bout the dog.
I'm sorry I know it sucks, I'm super kind and polite and when I get dismissed by people I have to remind myself:
Normies are just as evilly fucked up, not just addicts.
Not to let them make me bitter & twisted.
Not to make myself hard & uncaring...
Its sumthin i train myself to do everyday.
《☆ WOOF!》

 

[Sakura94]

I don't. It's possible I have AvPD though I don't know much about it.

 

[Darkover]

no firends but i am my best friend i just need to clone myself 50 times then i can over take the world, I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

I have one friend and lately he has been making me even more depressed. I can't stand to see him. He can't relate to mental illness or lately to deep unhappiness in general. This isn't his fault but it makes being around him awkward. He keeps giving me ridiculous suggestions like quitting my job and opening a bakery?? He comes from a rich family who literally gifted him his dream business that he works at a couple days a week as a hobby. We can't relate at all anymore.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Alienated the one person who loved me for who I am and there is no going back. The few that are left mostly check to make sure I'm still alive and after they know that there isn't much to say. Wouldn't call it friendship, and otherwise I've been totally alone for years unless you count foster animals.

I do count foster animals. :) Your post makes me question why people even just check in at all only to vanish until the next check-in. If life is so precious it has to be checked on to make sure it's still intact, then why let it languish to the point it seeks an end in the first place? Maybe this is really about them and not us. :(

 

[Quiet Desperation]

I do count foster animals. :)

They're certainly more kind and loving than a lot of people.

Your post makes me question why people even just check in at all only to vanish until the next check-in. If life is so precious it has to be checked on to make sure it's still intact, then why let it languish to the point it seeks an end in the first place? Maybe this is really about them and not us. :(

My theory is the rare check in is mostly about them. They aren't interested enough to truly engage but don't want to feel guilty if something happens after they haven't reached out in awhile. All the same I appreciate whatever crumbs of kindness are left over. Being isolated makes everything worse in and of itself. Sometimes it's so bad that just going to lunch with someone for 30 minutes can make you feel better.

 

[TriggerHappy]

I have loads of friends:

 

[right:sun]

I find it difficult to make friends considering I barely go outside.

 

[TheHatedOne]

I find it difficult to make friends considering I barely go outside.

Even online its difficult to make friends because most people already have friends and just want a distraction or they just don't want to put any effort for such a thing.

 

[chicken-nugget]

Alienated the one person who loved me for who I am and there is no going back. The few that are left mostly check to make sure I'm still alive and after they know that there isn't much to say. Wouldn't call it friendship, and otherwise I've been totally alone for years unless you count foster animals.

I feel this but I don't think he loved me for me because he was never there even though I moved my life to another country for him. Now I don't know if I can ever trust someone again.. and I kind of don't want to now either.

I have friends but they're not "real" friends.. I could stop messaging everyone and nobody would even notice but maybe my family after a while. I didn't message my "best friend" in over a year to see if they would make an attempt to keep our friendship alive. They did not lol.

 

[Makko]

A lot of people are my friends but I'm never theirs.

 

[Quiet Desperation]

I feel this but I don't think he loved me for me because he was never there even though I moved my life to another country for him. Now I don't know if I can ever trust someone again.. and I kind of don't want to now either.

Yeah mine had her issues too, she always wanted to believe the worst about everything including me and eventually she got her way. I'm still not over it years later so I understand what you mean, being hurt that badly leaves a mark.

I have friends but they're not "real" friends.. I could stop messaging everyone and nobody would even notice but maybe my family after a while. I didn't message my "best friend" in over a year to see if they would make an attempt to keep our friendship alive. They did not lol.

I can relate but am a little farther along in that process of isolating myself

A lot of people are my friends but I'm never theirs.

Their loss tbh, your intelligence and sense of humor always comes through in your posts.

 

[S like Siren]

Present!here i am...

because I feel like I'm the only person in this world who has absolutely zero friends.

Me too.. i have noone,even if i have my parents but it's like I don't have a family...my only interaction is on SS

 

[grungeCat]

Used to be really affected by my friendlessness but recently I started to not mind it anymore (it still hurts sometimes when people mention they have friends, close friends whatever but what can I do other than move on and keep on suffering?) but I'm curious if there's anyone else because I feel like I'm the only person in this world who has absolutely zero friends.

I have absolutely no friends as well. It's been like this since primary school (now I'm 22)... Loneliness is such a bitch, it aches me 24/7. Literally nobody who gives a shit about me.

 

[xLosthopex]

Technically I have a lot, although I purposely have withdrawn myself from everyone in my life because I have this constant fear of "if everyone knew how horrible a person I really am they would abandon me anyway" and also because of my plan to ctb I don't see a point in trying to maintain friendships anymore

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Lost my social confidence a long time ago and connection to others. I think loneliness will devour me eventually. I haven't been out consistently for years (5 years) I go out around family, I'm around coworkers but that's it. I miss my confident self and engaging with others it died long ago now I'm just trapped and want out.

I also engage with old friends here and then

 

[Nanako]

Not anymore, and tbh at this point I don't really care. I'd rather make small talk with strangers online until I'm able to ctb.

 

[Deltawaves74]

For me people cause pain. I have no friends and loneliness is a killer but I'd rather that than the pain people cause.