Discussion Anyone want to discuss self harm ?

[Unsure and alone]

I'm guessing a lot of us around here have done it at some point.

I'd like to talk about the different methods .

Talk about the different viewpoints.

And share what we have learned or haven't as the case may be.

Let's make this an interesting but civil thread.
Boring replies are just as welcome though

I don't think this counts as encouraging self harm since it would be people who have already made that choice talking about it .
But if I'm wrong just let me know okay mods ?


Personally I've been doing it off and on for a few years .
And yet I know I still have a lot to learn.
Seems kinda crazy to me that people who say they want to help you get better won't help you with questions like how do I gauge depth other than I've done that before and I'm fine .
Or questions like what's a better way to clean the blade .
Because I'm still running into problems there.
The blade seems to get dull too fast when I'm in heavier use of it.
And issues of knowing eventually this blade will also be a bit rusted with my own blood.
Yes I've figured out just using a wipe on the blade isn't really good enough .
But that's still currently what I'm doing.


However I totally understand why such people who are against self harm wouldn't want to answer questions like how do I cut deeper without doing permanent damage. ( not counting scarring that's inevitable if you keep it up )

But questions that could at least improve safety as you do it. Seems to me like that's just being scared to actually talk about it.

I found a very handy in my opinion at least to cut with.

Yet some days it doesn't seem enough.
At least it's capable of making marks that are already raised quickly.

I find that thought a little sad at the moment, cause it shows some of how much emotional pain I'm trying to let out.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

on the scale of cutters i was def not as serious/intense w it as others are. i knew some SH in the ward that'd burn themselves, or cut so deep they needed like 16+ stitches.

i used a kitchen knife @ 1st till i got my own razor blade. i still have my lil kit tucked away, just in case. i'm a bit of a hypochondriac, so before cutting i'd disinfect both my forearm & razor, then again afterwards. i have a blood clotting disorder that always made cutting a lil more stressful for me, so immediately after i'd apply pressure w gauze & securely bandage it when the bleeding calmed down enough. it was v clinical & methodical.

i mainly liked seeing the scabs & watching the damage i'd inflicted on myself heal. when i was still in school & things would get really overwhelming/my thoughts + feelings started spiraling, i'd rub my thumb over the scabbing to help ground me. it was truly, briefly therapeutic for me.

 

[Unsure and alone]

on the scale of cutters i was def not as serious/intense w it as others are. i knew some SH in the ward that'd burn themselves, or cut so deep they needed like 16+ stitches.

i used a kitchen knife @ 1st till i got my own razor blade. i still have my lil kit tucked away, just in case. i'm a bit of a hypochondriac, so before cutting i'd disinfect both my forearm & razor, then again afterwards. i have a blood clotting disorder that always made cutting a lil more stressful for me, so immediately after i'd apply pressure w gauze & securely bandage it when the bleeding calmed down enough. it was v clinical & methodical.

i mainly liked seeing the scabs & watching the damage i'd inflicted on myself heal. when i was still in school & things would get really overwhelming/my thoughts + feelings started spiraling, i'd rub my thumb over the scabbing to help ground me. it was truly, briefly therapeutic for me.

Thanks for being the first to help get this thread started.
Sounds like it was a rough place for you.
And that you aren't currently doing it.
If so then congratulations .
I'm happy for you.

I don't think how bad the damage is should matter very much until you can't handle it on your own.

Because
Whatever the reason .
Whatever the damage .
It shows you hurt and that's real no matter what you walked through or are walking through .

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I don't think how bad the damage is should matter very much until you can't handle it on your own.

thank u! i tend to unknowingly compare the lvl/severity of my mental illness to others, & i forget that doesn't really matter sometimes.

do u keep a cutting kit?? or are u more of a slice & dicer. do u have a preferred thing to cut w, or does it rlly not matter unless it's sharp? what's ur main motivation behind u cutting, like how the scabs were for me?

 

[Rudra009]

can anyone tell me how much balloons of hydrogen will be enough for me to inhale and go unconscious so i can drown peacefully, tho i have no other resources right now, i can make some hydrogen by using NaOH that i have with me!!??

 

[Unsure and alone]

thank u! i tend to unknowingly compare the lvl/severity of my mental illness to others, & i forget that doesn't really matter sometimes.

do u keep a cutting kit?? or are u more of a slice & dicer. do u have a preferred thing to cut w, or does it rlly not matter unless it's sharp? what's ur main motivation behind u cutting, like how the scabs were for me?

I'm glad you found that helpful.

It really doesn't do anyone any good to get into comparison.
Especially of anything that can be dangerous.
All that would do is end with someone going to far and getting hurt.
Yet that can be incredibly hard to remember at times.

Yes I keep what I need available almost always.
I use the blade of a box cutter.
I don't cut with random stuff
Instead I buy things specifically for cutting and stick to using that.
I have one blade easily accessible in my room and a different blade in a travel kit
With something almost always so accessible I really don't have any need to use random stuff.
But I did buy something new to cut with Today.
I didn't need to. What I have works well .
But I'm doing a bit more experimenting .


I don't cut around others so the travel blade sees less use but it does still get used.

I do it to cope .
To cope with what I can't handle.
With intense emotions.
With all the painful words .
To put the pain somewhere else.

Because it does usually bring relief.
Temporary relief but it's still relief.


Also I didn't start with the box cutter.
That's just my current tool of choice.

can anyone tell me how much balloons of hydrogen will be enough for me to inhale and go unconscious so i can drown peacefully, tho i have no other resources right now, i can make some hydrogen by using NaOH that i have with me!!??

Umm no . I really can't because I don't know.
That's not the method I'm going with.
I'd suggest looking at the methods threads .
And please give yourself some time to think about it .
Really think about it because you can't undo a successful suicide.
And because impulsive attempts can go extremely wrong . Leaving you far worse off than you were before.

If dying is what you need then I wish you peace .
I just hope you take the time to be sure .

 

[Unbelonging]

Hello, I've been self harming for many years and I used to make cuts to at least deep fat but I almost got caught so I had to throw my tool (tile scraper) away. Since then I've been using things like dull scissors, staples, dermaplaning razors, etc. These aren't very effective and sometimes I have to cut multiple times over the same area to even break the skin (sometimes with dermaplaning razors I can go to light dermis but that's the deepest I can go now in 1 swipe). I am going to buy a new sh tool soon because of these difficulties. Do you know if a normal razor blade is better for sh, like the ones for shaving that you find in a razor? Thank you

 

[fishlover]

ive been cutting since i was about 11. started with a kitchen knife, then pencil sharpener razors, exacto knife, eyebrow razor, and now i use double edged razor blades and a pocket knife. sometimes i burn, too. to me its sort of an addiction. i get anxious if i havent cut in awhile. i really like seeing all the scars pile up. once, when i didnt have any access to blades at a summer camp, i scratched away a good portion of skin on my arm. (which surprisingly barely left a scar)

to answer the questions you mentioned-

1. when you say how to gauge depth, do you mean- how to tell how far youve gone on a cut? if thats what you meant, hopefully this helps. i included the nicknames first (named because of how the layers look like) i know the terms sound silly, but its really easy to memorise the layers in this way. i will also include the medical terms and a brief description.
(this is strictly informational)
you have about 6 layers
- cat scratch / epidermis: this is the very first layer of the skin. these cuts are usually very light, and dont bleed too much. while healing theyll be very itchy. they dont really scar.
- styro / dermis: this is the next layer, and also what i find to be the deepest layer (depending on what area you cut). styros are easily identified because they will be white at first, and then slowly fill up with blood. usually at this point, your cuts will scar noticeably.
- beans / hypodermis (fat): most people will tell you that cuts at this layer really dont hurt much at all. this is because there are less nerve endings here. youll be able to tell youve cut to fat right away- before it fills with blood, your fat looks like little yellow balls.
- fascia: this is the thin connective tissue between the fat and muscle. it will look like a thin slimy casing. from this point and beyond, your chance for infection shoots up.
- laffy taffy / muscle: you will be able to tell its muscle, looks like lean steak. will hurt terribly bad.
- bedrock / bone: self explanatory. it will be bone. if you reach this point i'll assume youre trying to saw your arm off.

2. if your blade is going dull too fast i can suggest two things: on amazon you can find double edged razor blades (the type thats used as replacements for safety razors) in bulk packs of 50-100 for 5-8 american dollars. personally i bought a 100 count for $5 USD, and basically- i have so many razors that when the one im using gets dull, i just swap it out for a new one. its been months and i still have a shit ton of razors. (however do note that you have to be careful with these, its easy to nick your fingers when holding them) my second suggestion thats more sustainable long term, is a pocket knife and blade sharpener, which i also own and use regularly. you can invest in a good knife at a local specialty store (theres some really cool designs too) or just buy a cheap one on amazon. when it gets dull, you sharpen it with the blade sharpener, which can also be bought on amazon for around $9 USD or at a hardware store.

3. to keep your blades sharp for as long as possible, use hydrogen peroxide to clean them after every use!! blood rusts your blades faster, and hydrogen peroxide is perfect for removing blood. (it will also get blood stains out of clothes) i also like to use hydrogen peroxide to clean my cuts because it doesnt burn and its cheap to buy. i also purposely use it to make my cuts scar worse. (hydrogen peroxide isnt actually recommended anymore to clean wounds because it kills healthy cells and damages tissue blah blah if you dont like that, i recommend iodine or saline to clean your wounds. however, hydrogen peroxide is a MUST for cleaning blades.)

4. theres not really any way that i know of to cut deeper without lasting damage. no matter what, at some point all the cutting will leave some sort of damage, especially if you cut on your arms and legs.

hope that helps, feel free to ask any more questions. if anyone notices that ive said something incorrect please let me know. i wrote this from memory.

hope that helps, feel free to ask any more questions. if anyone notices that ive said something incorrect please let me know. i wrote this from memory.

i dont know if its allowed here, so if you want links to purchase anything that i mentioned from amazon, you can PM me. (this is to help in cutting as safely as possible) mods if this isnt allowed just delete this reply dont smite me please

 

[XXXWRLD]

Tattoo machine

More of my body is covered in lines than isn't.

Inspired in part by the brutal black project.

Some days are more like average tattoo work, by me who is completely unskilled and just watched a few videos.

Other days I extend the needle group to maximum length and dig deep.

Im disorganized so it's always a mess, and Idk I'm still here so I guess I didn't do too much harm?

It feels kinda liberating/dumb to wear my pain like this.

It's been many months since the last time, I miss the relief felt afterward.

Idk if this technically qualifies as self harm, it feels like it to me.

 

[Nyx𓂀]

firstly I want to say that we've needed a thread like this for so long and def should be stickied.

idk if it's just me bc I have an addictive personality but after like the second or third time I cut myself I was complete hooked. it started as a distraction from what was going on in my head and my life, then as a punishment for existing and then I just tried to find any excuse to cut. now it pretty much switches between the last 2 and just doing it for the sake of it. I've tried to stop but 1) fuck it ain't easy and 2) I don't really see a point in stopping seeing as it is really the only thing that helps woth how i feel even marginally. I know it's probably going to end badly bc like I'm always looking for a stronger hit but yeah. for now we r fine.
retrospectively I can see that I am v much addicted to it bc now I know that my family is filled with addicts so I'm pretty well fucked.

I used to cut with a box cutter untill that got confiscated after my first attempt, now I use the blades out of sharpeners (yes i know that is dumb but its the only thing i have acces to rn). my room is fucking filled with them all hidden ofc bc my family r psychos abt going through my room lmao.
I have also started giving myself tatoos (stick n poke) and as a different sort of way of sh and it's alright. def more fun tho.

I really didn't mean for this to be this long but I have 1 more thing lol.
anyone know anything abt sh with acid? like burns that way? I've thought it abt it for ages and never really known like if it's safe and what to use or if it's just completely idiotic

 

[Mäximum]

anyone know anything abt sh with acid? like burns that way? I've thought it abt it for ages and never really known like if it's safe and what to use or if it's just completely idiotic

I've never considered sh with acid, and I don't think that's a good idea either. I mean, sh in general isn't a good idea but with acid? I don't know… Just sounds way too dangerous and risky. I wouldn't do it.

 

[Nyx𓂀]

I've never considered sh with acid, and I don't think that's a good idea either. I mean, sh in general isn't a good idea but with acid? I don't know… Just sounds way too dangerous and risky. I wouldn't do it.

yeah that was the conclusion I came to but like I still want to try it. bc like... idk lol

 

[Mäximum]

yeah that was the conclusion I came to but like I still want to try it. bc like... idk lol

Yeah, I understand what you mean. The temptation to still test it out, just because, can be really annoying and hard to resist. Still, I really don't think that's a good idea.

 

[Exhausted-and-Alone]

I used to cut as a teen, I would also punch myself with brass knuckles in my gut. I used to be black and blue for a large portion of my stomach through teen years lol. I've got a sensitive stomach now, probably from when I starved myself and can't punch myself nearly as hard on my gut as I used to, so now I just punch my head often until I feel swelling or I just can't punch anymore. It's gotten bad enough where it hurts to talk/eat because the side of my head is so swollen.

As for cutting I don't really cut deep like I see other people do, I just need to see the blood, so I usually do cat scratches or minor styro's. I started back up recently after being clean for 7 years, at first I was afraid of being back on this horse, so to speak, because I know how addicted I was to it when I first got better, but just like any nice habit it came back to me fairly quickly.

It seems that I employ different methods of self-harm for different emotions. I'll employ cutting if I'm feeling sad or anxious, but I'll utilize punching/hitting/bruising if I'm angry, especially at myself. They make me feel differently, too, as cutting makes me feel calmer, mellowed out. But punching makes me feel more pain in the short term, but I guess… righteous in a way? By righteous I mean like that I've punished myself in a sufficient manner for what I did to deserve that pain.

That doesn't mean they don't overlap, sometimes I'll cut out of anger too, a few days ago I called someone to try to get my mind off of my problems for a second and as soon as the call ended I got so angry that I wasted their time that I immediately began cutting at my thigh wildly. Or there've been times that I've cut insults into my skin just so that way it'll scar over and it'll remind me every day I see it of how much I deserved it.

As for cleaning, as fishlover said, Hydrogen Peroxide is effective at cleaning the blade yet not rusting the iron. I use a knife sharpening kit for every blade I own, regardless of use. Knives get dull, regardless if they're utility, kitchen or sport knives.

 

[grungy自殺]

Before, I wonder how it would felt like if i used a knife on my forearm and attempt to cut it through to see how much it would come out even through the tissue,
and see if the results for me would relief me, and as it turns out it wasn't soothing at all

 

[UKscotty]

Because you asked I will share my experiences. I must underline my current view though which is self harming is a terrible idea, the scars look disgusting and are not something to be proud of.

Anyway... I'd say make sure you use clean hygienic blades. The ones you can get like 50 for £10 that barbers use were good for me.

Keep a decent first aid kit... keep it stocked up.

Use alcohol wipes often.

Never underestimate the value of superglue to close up and seal wounds.

Burns are a lot more destructive and leave worse scars longer term.

Don't cut the same wound a second time.

Don't hesitate to call 999 if you cut a vein or something.

Invest in long sleeves tops, you won't be able to show arms anymore.

 

[kilobyte]

can anyone tell me how much balloons of hydrogen will be enough for me to inhale and go unconscious so i can drown peacefully, tho i have no other resources right now, i can make some hydrogen by using NaOH that i have with me!!??

you only should need one, assuming if it's like average sized
just try to limit your breathing

 

[StaringIntoAnAbyss]

I personally like the blood of cutting and it helps me with sometimes voices or just against thoughts.

Tried with like a Stanley cut off knife but I like a blade more since for me it's easier to use and hold.

Cutting wise I like to do one swipe to open and then cut in the cut, it hurts and bleeds more which again helps me more.

(I don't recommend it to anyone just try not to cut only if you really need because sadly it gets permanent faster then you think )

Hello, I've been self harming for many years and I used to make cuts to at least deep fat but I almost got caught so I had to throw my tool (tile scraper) away. Since then I've been using things like dull scissors, staples, dermaplaning razors, etc. These aren't very effective and sometimes I have to cut multiple times over the same area to even break the skin (sometimes with dermaplaning razors I can go to light dermis but that's the deepest I can go now in 1 swipe). I am going to buy a new sh tool soon because of these difficulties. Do you know if a normal razor blade is better for sh, like the ones for shaving that you find in a razor? Thank you

the ones for shaving are not recommended atleast like the shave thing that has like 6 or so small razors in it. It really stings itches, also it doesn't go deep if you want that

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Use alcohol wipes often.

You shouldn't be using alcohol on your cuts. Alcohol kills off healthy tissue which means a prolonged healing period which means an increase in the chances of infection. For shallow cuts, non-scented soap and water should do just fine. For deeper cuts, distilled water or saline should be used to cleanse the wound.

Alcohol wipes are great for cleaning tools but should not be used on cuts.

 

[ceilng_tile]

If you use fresh, sterile, individually-wrapped blades it is not only a lower risk of infection but you're less likely to do unintended damage and will have more control as your blade is still sharp. I prefer to use a #15 as this gives me the best control. I do not recommend reusing the same blade multiple times. I use an alcohol swab or chloraprep stick before and after. (If you're specifically looking to feel pain, the alcohol allows you to do so without doing additional damage.) When I cut I never go past the dermis (opaque white stuff under epidermis). I don't recommend going more than 1 mm deep to the skin surface if you want to stay in a safe area. If you start seeing yellow fat globules you have gone too deep and will need stitches. I do live in a place with clean tap water and am pretty healthy so I haven't had any issues with infection after soaking the cuts but that might not be the case for everyone. You can use a bandaid (if small enough) or steri strips to re-approximate the skin edges afterward (steri-strips go perpendicular, not parallel to the wound.) If you hit bleeding the first thing you should do is hold pressure over the wound and elevate the extremity for at least ten minutes. Apply a compressive dressing (ie, gauze + ace wrap). If you bleed through this you should call 911. If you develop an infection it will usually happen around 3-4 days after. You will probably notice increased pain and redness, maybe some cloudy drainage or pus. Seek medical attention if this happens.

I don't recommend cutting your forearm/wrist unless you are familiar with the anatomy of the major nerves, arteries, and tendons as this can cause long-lasting disability if you go too deep and cut the wrong thing. Also, avoid the inside of your thigh as there is a major superficial vein here that will bleed like crazy. In general, avoid going anywhere where you can feel bone or tendon as this means the soft tissue is thin. If you can see a vein through the skin or feel a pulse in that area, don't cut there.

Of course, I am just a complete stranger on the internet, so you shouldn't trust any of the information above or take this as medical advice.

 

[strawberryseed]

I've been struggling to make deep incisions and it makes me feel even more worthless. I've been under intense stress and pressure just from the natural course of life, but my anxiety is really fucking me up every day. I feel like important numbers follow me and are signaling bad news or things happening, like punishment is coming for me because i haven't been keeping my room clean and i've been dealing with SA trauma in a pretty awful way and hiding it has felt so shameful. And i cant stop having the anxious thoughts so then i'll cause confirmation bias to happen and im so scared. I have emetaphobia and i'm deathly afraid of getting the norovirus going around I can't get it im so scared and i feel like self punishment is the only way to alleviate the pressure of life coming to punish me, but i can't do enough damage to make it feel adequate to what i think the universe will do to me and I need this to soothe my mind until i can gain the courage to be less fearful of dying since life only gets more intense as time goes on it's ridiculous but i just want to feel a sense of calm when i mess up.

TLDR; any tips to make deeper cuts with more blood flow and scarring without giving into your body cringing and shit for a peace of mind from my mistakes and make me feel like less manipulative or like this is for attention, i only cut on my thighs though i worry about sexual partners and my nice girlfriend who doesn't deserve to experience this w me or be aware of it so any tips for that would be helpful. i don't talk about it with others frequently, i've asked for help on twitter but people are only on there for one thing lol and i genuinely just want to help myself feel relief and a connection to those who i use it to stay close with

 

[Mäximum]

Don't cut the same wound a second time.

Why? Is the risk of infection higher? And if I cut in a 90° angle over it? Is that OK? Genuinely want to know.

 

[tleggeroj]

I'm curious about cutting the same wound
I usually do it, and i open up the healing wound with another cut on it
Is it just because of infection?

Btw i just do it with a regular cheap razor blade and switch them out when it gets dull. I feel so much better about everything, it just gives me a relaxing feeling when i see the blood come out and feeling it trickling down my thigh. It's comparable to being half asleep and just being at peace with everything. I used to hate self harming and self harmers, but as you all know either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain.

 

[ceilng_tile]

I've been struggling to make deep incisions and it makes me feel even more worthless. I've been under intense stress and pressure just from the natural course of life, but my anxiety is really fucking me up every day. I feel like important numbers follow me and are signaling bad news or things happening, like punishment is coming for me because i haven't been keeping my room clean and i've been dealing with SA trauma in a pretty awful way and hiding it has felt so shameful. And i cant stop having the anxious thoughts so then i'll cause confirmation bias to happen and im so scared. I have emetaphobia and i'm deathly afraid of getting the norovirus going around I can't get it im so scared and i feel like self punishment is the only way to alleviate the pressure of life coming to punish me, but i can't do enough damage to make it feel adequate to what i think the universe will do to me and I need this to soothe my mind until i can gain the courage to be less fearful of dying since life only gets more intense as time goes on it's ridiculous but i just want to feel a sense of calm when i mess up.

TLDR; any tips to make deeper cuts with more blood flow and scarring without giving into your body cringing and shit for a peace of mind from my mistakes and make me feel like less manipulative or like this is for attention, i only cut on my thighs though i worry about sexual partners and my nice girlfriend who doesn't deserve to experience this w me or be aware of it so any tips for that would be helpful. i don't talk about it with others frequently, i've asked for help on twitter but people are only on there for one thing lol and i genuinely just want to help myself feel relief and a connection to those who i use it to stay close with

For deeper cuts - fresh, sharp blade + put the skin under more tension when you cut across it

Anyone who tries to guilt you out by calling you manipulative or insisting you're doing it for attention can go to hell. If the only time they pay attention to you is when you're self-harming, that's a sign of something wrong with them, not you. (Besides, most of the time it fails to get their attention anyway. I met a woman who cut through her forearm after her boyfriend robbed her and left her starving and alone in a trailer for 3 weeks. She texted him a picture of her injury. He never responded.)

 

[Miku _fanboy101]

I cut myself and i can admit that for me seeing the skin slide apart gave me the feeling of a fork on a plate, yet it was so good feeling and it felt so good that when I do so I laugh and smile. Is this werid? I'm sorry if it is.

 

[666razorblade]

Oh hey, I'm a cutter too. Buying a huge pack of 100+ razor blades was the "best" thing I ever did. I can't explain it, but cutting is the only thing that makes me feel better. When I want to CTB, I can sometimes get through it just by cutting enough. I like it when I see the white stuff or the fat layer. Even though cutting has "helped" me a lot, I can't recommend it to anyone. Once you start, you can't stop, and it'll make your situation worse than it was to begin with. Doesn't matter how hard you try not to cut, you'll probably relapse sooner or later and it's awful. It's soul destroying. it's a weird one, because cutters like me who've been cutting for some time often use it as a coping mechanism, but for anyone else who hasn't cut before, let me warn you that it's one of the worst things you could start doing to yourself. Such complicated feelings.

 

[Unsure and alone]

Hello, I've been self harming for many years and I used to make cuts to at least deep fat but I almost got caught so I had to throw my tool (tile scraper) away. Since then I've been using things like dull scissors, staples, dermaplaning razors, etc. These aren't very effective and sometimes I have to cut multiple times over the same area to even break the skin (sometimes with dermaplaning razors I can go to light dermis but that's the deepest I can go now in 1 swipe). I am going to buy a new sh tool soon because of these difficulties. Do you know if a normal razor blade is better for sh, like the ones for shaving that you find in a razor? Thank you

I don't know that .
But I do know that I found a box cutter blade better than a razor blade .

Please take good care of yourself afterwards .
I'm sorry you're hurting that way .

Do you mind if I ask .
How do you hide that level of damage ?
And how do you care for it ?

I'm experimenting some right now.

ive been cutting since i was about 11. started with a kitchen knife, then pencil sharpener razors, exacto knife, eyebrow razor, and now i use double edged razor blades and a pocket knife. sometimes i burn, too. to me its sort of an addiction. i get anxious if i havent cut in awhile. i really like seeing all the scars pile up. once, when i didnt have any access to blades at a summer camp, i scratched away a good portion of skin on my arm. (which surprisingly barely left a scar)

to answer the questions you mentioned-

1. when you say how to gauge depth, do you mean- how to tell how far youve gone on a cut? if thats what you meant, hopefully this helps. i included the nicknames first (named because of how the layers look like) i know the terms sound silly, but its really easy to memorise the layers in this way. i will also include the medical terms and a brief description.
(this is strictly informational)
you have about 6 layers
- cat scratch / epidermis: this is the very first layer of the skin. these cuts are usually very light, and dont bleed too much. while healing theyll be very itchy. they dont really scar.
- styro / dermis: this is the next layer, and also what i find to be the deepest layer (depending on what area you cut). styros are easily identified because they will be white at first, and then slowly fill up with blood. usually at this point, your cuts will scar noticeably.
- beans / hypodermis (fat): most people will tell you that cuts at this layer really dont hurt much at all. this is because there are less nerve endings here. youll be able to tell youve cut to fat right away- before it fills with blood, your fat looks like little yellow balls.
- fascia: this is the thin connective tissue between the fat and muscle. it will look like a thin slimy casing. from this point and beyond, your chance for infection shoots up.
- laffy taffy / muscle: you will be able to tell its muscle, looks like lean steak. will hurt terribly bad.
- bedrock / bone: self explanatory. it will be bone. if you reach this point i'll assume youre trying to saw your arm off.

2. if your blade is going dull too fast i can suggest two things: on amazon you can find double edged razor blades (the type thats used as replacements for safety razors) in bulk packs of 50-100 for 5-8 american dollars. personally i bought a 100 count for $5 USD, and basically- i have so many razors that when the one im using gets dull, i just swap it out for a new one. its been months and i still have a shit ton of razors. (however do note that you have to be careful with these, its easy to nick your fingers when holding them) my second suggestion thats more sustainable long term, is a pocket knife and blade sharpener, which i also own and use regularly. you can invest in a good knife at a local specialty store (theres some really cool designs too) or just buy a cheap one on amazon. when it gets dull, you sharpen it with the blade sharpener, which can also be bought on amazon for around $9 USD or at a hardware store.

3. to keep your blades sharp for as long as possible, use hydrogen peroxide to clean them after every use!! blood rusts your blades faster, and hydrogen peroxide is perfect for removing blood. (it will also get blood stains out of clothes) i also like to use hydrogen peroxide to clean my cuts because it doesnt burn and its cheap to buy. i also purposely use it to make my cuts scar worse. (hydrogen peroxide isnt actually recommended anymore to clean wounds because it kills healthy cells and damages tissue blah blah if you dont like that, i recommend iodine or saline to clean your wounds. however, hydrogen peroxide is a MUST for cleaning blades.)

4. theres not really any way that i know of to cut deeper without lasting damage. no matter what, at some point all the cutting will leave some sort of damage, especially if you cut on your arms and legs.

hope that helps, feel free to ask any more questions. if anyone notices that ive said something incorrect please let me know. i wrote this from memory.

i dont know if its allowed here, so if you want links to purchase anything that i mentioned from amazon, you can PM me. (this is to help in cutting as safely as possible) mods if this isnt allowed just delete this reply dont smite me please

Thank you that information helps a lot.

Tattoo machine

More of my body is covered in lines than isn't.

Inspired in part by the brutal black project.

Some days are more like average tattoo work, by me who is completely unskilled and just watched a few videos.

Other days I extend the needle group to maximum length and dig deep.

Im disorganized so it's always a mess, and Idk I'm still here so I guess I didn't do too much harm?

It feels kinda liberating/dumb to wear my pain like this.

It's been many months since the last time, I miss the relief felt afterward.

Idk if this technically qualifies as self harm, it feels like it to me.

I think it definitely does.
Self harm is essentially anything you purposely do to hurt yourself.

With that method you could probably learn to make something beautiful out of all that pain.
By turning it into real tattoos .

Whatever you end up doing good luck with your journey.
Yea

I personally like the blood of cutting and it helps me with sometimes voices or just against thoughts.

Tried with like a Stanley cut off knife but I like a blade more since for me it's easier to use and hold.

Cutting wise I like to do one swipe to open and then cut in the cut, it hurts and bleeds more which again helps me more.

(I don't recommend it to anyone just try not to cut only if you really need because sadly it gets permanent faster then you think )




the ones for shaving are not recommended atleast like the shave thing that has like 6 or so small razors in it. It really stings itches, also it doesn't go deep if you want that

I've never considered sh with acid, and I don't think that's a good idea either. I mean, sh in general isn't a good idea but with acid? I don't know… Just sounds way too dangerous and risky. I wouldn't do it.

@Nyx𓂀 I agree this sounds like a dangerous idea. If you do decide to try it anyway please consider a few things
1. How will you treat this or get treatment if it goes super wrong ?

2. Acid will eat through more than just skin .
How will you not accidentally spill on other skin and belongings ?

3. Plan a few lies for in case you need to seek medical help.
Since I'm assuming you don't want to end up in a ward.

Because you asked I will share my experiences. I must underline my current view though which is self harming is a terrible idea, the scars look disgusting and are not something to be proud of.

Anyway... I'd say make sure you use clean hygienic blades. The ones you can get like 50 for £10 that barbers use were good for me.

Keep a decent first aid kit... keep it stocked up.

Use alcohol wipes often.

Never underestimate the value of superglue to close up and seal wounds.

Burns are a lot more destructive and leave worse scars longer term.

Don't cut the same wound a second time.

Don't hesitate to call 999 if you cut a vein or something.

Invest in long sleeves tops, you won't be able to show arms anymore.

Sounds like dec

If you use fresh, sterile, individually-wrapped blades it is not only a lower risk of infection but you're less likely to do unintended damage and will have more control as your blade is still sharp. I prefer to use a #15 as this gives me the best control. I do not recommend reusing the same blade multiple times. I use an alcohol swab or chloraprep stick before and after. (If you're specifically looking to feel pain, the alcohol allows you to do so without doing additional damage.) When I cut I never go past the dermis (opaque white stuff under epidermis). I don't recommend going more than 1 mm deep to the skin surface if you want to stay in a safe area. If you start seeing yellow fat globules you have gone too deep and will need stitches. I do live in a place with clean tap water and am pretty healthy so I haven't had any issues with infection after soaking the cuts but that might not be the case for everyone. You can use a bandaid (if small enough) or steri strips to re-approximate the skin edges afterward (steri-strips go perpendicular, not parallel to the wound.) If you hit bleeding the first thing you should do is hold pressure over the wound and elevate the extremity for at least ten minutes. Apply a compressive dressing (ie, gauze + ace wrap). If you bleed through this you should call 911. If you develop an infection it will usually happen around 3-4 days after. You will probably notice increased pain and redness, maybe some cloudy drainage or pus. Seek medical attention if this happens.

I don't recommend cutting your forearm/wrist unless you are familiar with the anatomy of the major nerves, arteries, and tendons as this can cause long-lasting disability if you go too deep and cut the wrong thing. Also, avoid the inside of your thigh as there is a major superficial vein here that will bleed like crazy. In general, avoid going anywhere where you can feel bone or tendon as this means the soft tissue is thin. If you can see a vein through the skin or feel a pulse in that area, don't cut there.

Of course, I am just a complete stranger on the internet, so you shouldn't trust any of the information above or take this as medical advice.

That sounds like some very helpful guidelines.

For deeper cuts - fresh, sharp blade + put the skin under more tension when you cut across it

Anyone who tries to guilt you out by calling you manipulative or insisting you're doing it for attention can go to hell. If the only time they pay attention to you is when you're self-harming, that's a sign of something wrong with them, not you. (Besides, most of the time it fails to get their attention anyway. I met a woman who cut through her forearm after her boyfriend robbed her and left her starving and alone in a trailer for 3 weeks. She texted him a picture of her injury. He never responded.)

It's true that people don't notice others as much unless it matters to them.

Still that's absolutely horrible for someone to not care when directly shown the hidden cost that bluntly.

I'm curious about cutting the same wound
I usually do it, and i open up the healing wound with another cut on it
Is it just because of infection?

Btw i just do it with a regular cheap razor blade and switch them out when it gets dull. I feel so much better about everything, it just gives me a relaxing feeling when i see the blood come out and feeling it trickling down my thigh. It's comparable to being half asleep and just being at peace with everything. I used to hate self harming and self harmers, but as you all know either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain.

I'm unsure on this so please take this as general thoughts not actual advice.
I also cut partly healed cuts.
I would suggest at least letting it mostly heal before doing that though.

It probably is in large part due to risk of infection and making the cut deeper / worse .

I think how dangerous it is will also depend some on how bad the original cut was.

Oh hey, I'm a cutter too. Buying a huge pack of 100+ razor blades was the "best" thing I ever did. I can't explain it, but cutting is the only thing that makes me feel better. When I want to CTB, I can sometimes get through it just by cutting enough. I like it when I see the white stuff or the fat layer. Even though cutting has "helped" me a lot, I can't recommend it to anyone. Once you start, you can't stop, and it'll make your situation worse than it was to begin with. Doesn't matter how hard you try not to cut, you'll probably relapse sooner or later and it's awful. It's soul destroying. it's a weird one, because cutters like me who've been cutting for some time often use it as a coping mechanism, but for anyone else who hasn't cut before, let me warn you that it's one of the worst things you could start doing to yourself. Such complicated feelings.

Well said.
I'd definitely tell someone who hasn't done it before to truly ask two questions before ever trying it.

1. Are you willing to risk becoming dependent on this ?
Because it's going to be hard to stop .

2. Can you live with the scars ?
Because that's going to happen.
Just a matter of time if you keep it up.

 

[Nyx𓂀]

I agree this sounds like a dangerous idea. If you do decide to try it anyway please consider a few things

yeah no I'm def not gonna do it. I looked into acid burns with like hydrochloric acid and other shit but like fuckkkkkk it looks like it's practically impossible to control and will seriously fuck u up. anyone else thinking abt doing it, don't. or at lease look at the consequences first bc it will fuck u up.

I was also wondering if it was actually worth it to try and stop cutting. I have been for a number of years now and used to be my biggest way of feeling better but as I assume many people would understand its kinda worn off. I am addicted like I said before so it would be a fucking pain to stop and im prob gonna ctb soon so yeah. I know and hear all the shit abt how "it's bad and you shouldn't do it" which I guess makes sense but 1) it's my body so fuck off and 2) if it helps then you should, and I'm gonna do it. so I don't know where I'm going with this ramble bc I know I'm not gonna stop sorry but it's interesting to think abt i guess.

 

[H25pital Order]

Albeit lite, I have one arm covered. So throughout the summer I wear a LeBron Arm Sleeve to cover it.

 

[Unsure and alone]

yeah no I'm def not gonna do it. I looked into acid burns with like hydrochloric acid and other shit but like fuckkkkkk it looks like it's practically impossible to control and will seriously fuck u up. anyone else thinking abt doing it, don't. or at lease look at the consequences first bc it will fuck u up.

I was also wondering if it was actually worth it to try and stop cutting. I have been for a number of years now and used to be my biggest way of feeling better but as I assume many people would understand its kinda worn off. I am addicted like I said before so it would be a fucking pain to stop and im prob gonna ctb soon so yeah. I know and hear all the shit abt how "it's bad and you shouldn't do it" which I guess makes sense but 1) it's my body so fuck off and 2) if it helps then you should, and I'm gonna do it. so I don't know where I'm going with this ramble bc I know I'm not gonna stop sorry but it's interesting to think abt i guess.

I'm glad you decided not to try Acid burning .

I would say if you actually want to stop cutting then it's worth trying .
Even if you do intend to CTB soon .

Sounds like you don't really know if you want to stop cutting or not.

So maybe consider going one day without cutting and see what you think ?

I hope you find peace from this tumultuous life.