Anyone waiting to feel extremely destructive to finally cbt?

[Suicidal Little Boy]

Cuz right now I don't feel that low but once things become unbearable I might finally have the courage to punch survival instincts in the face and catch the bus.
How about you guys?

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, ctb is very difficult as I fear the method failing and I have limited access to methods. I think that I would have to be extremely desperate to be able to find a way to go through with it. It is just so horrible and unfair how it has to be this way. Dying should be easy, we have all already suffered enough in life, so we should not have to suffer trying to find a way to exit it.