Anyone met an online friend on here only for them to disappear and now you feel even more upset and alone?

[madiroze]

I met someone on here and we chatted everyday for a few weeks. It was just two people talking honestly and openly about their lives and plans to CTB. For the first time in a long time, I could discuss my feelings with someone without any judgment and everyday I looked forward to chatting to this person.

Now they have disappeared and my messages have gone unanswered. I feel really upset about it.

Has this happened to anyone else?

 

[LesbianCarpetPython]

I mean... You're on a forum about suicide. Kinda to be expected

 

[S like Siren]

I met someone on here and we chatted everyday for a few weeks. It was just two people talking honestly and openly about their lives and plans to CTB. For the first time in a long time, I could discuss my feelings with someone without any judgment and everyday I looked forward to chatting to this person.

Now they have disappeared and my messages have gone unanswered. I feel really upset about it.

Has this happened to anyone else?

Yes...more than once,don't be upset about it because it happens on this site

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I've spent a long time here avoiding building personal connections for this very reason - knowing in advance that these relationships aren't going to last.
But it did change recently. I've met someone, we started chatting one on one and a personal connection grew between us. We were able to share a lot of deeply personal stuff between us. They understood me like few others and became a highlight of my life.
It got to the point where I was willing to sponsor this person to move them out of country and to go with them to a new place in order to help them start a new life. I was willing and ready to provide financial, practical and psychological support to the best of my capacity, I got in touch with everyone who was willing to help, I've looked into unconventional and barely legal solutions...
Sadly, this wasn't enough to save the person. They withdrawn communication with a warning that they are going to CTB within the next few days and will only get in touch to say goodbye, and even that is not definite yet. They do not want to keep chatting, even while they're still here.

I feel a deep sense of loss, and I think I can relate to what you feel. I am sorry that this happened to you. This forum is a very sad place. It's great that we can connect here, and it brings relief and hope while it lasts. But I guess we should all come in here ready to let go. The person you've been talking to might just not be in a good place to talk, either mentally or physically - they might be in a hospital or may be worried about other people seeing this site, or even just not have access to the Internet for whatever reason. It is not your fault and not a reflection of your relationship with that person. I understand that it hurts and that you're lonely, and I'm sorry. Maybe you'll meet more people here, or just hang out with us as a crowd, it feels less lonely, though I understand that this doesn't exactly feel like a personal connection.

 

[makethepainstop]

Bro the person you enjoyed so much was here because they are hurting. So it's not a negative thing for them to go, remember we are all in terrible pain here, and seeking relief. Much Love to you.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Yes, it's best not to form any kind of attachments here. I know what you mean though, they didn't necessarily ctb.

 

[rationaltake]

I met someone on here and we chatted everyday for a few weeks. It was just two people talking honestly and openly about their lives and plans to CTB. For the first time in a long time, I could discuss my feelings with someone without any judgment and everyday I looked forward to chatting to this person.

Now they have disappeared and my messages have gone unanswered. I feel really upset about it.

Has this happened to anyone else?

I think sometimes people can't cope with chatting especially if they're depressed. I try not to take it personally. I've chatted with certain people for a while and then it's just tailed off. I like to think we helped each other for a short period. Things change and different people can help each other at different times. I understand that doesn't stop you feeling upset though and you still wonder about that person.

I've spent a long time here avoiding building personal connections for this very reason - knowing in advance that these relationships aren't going to last.
But it did change recently. I've met someone, we started chatting one on one and a personal connection grew between us. We were able to share a lot of deeply personal stuff between us. They understood me like few others and became a highlight of my life.i
It got to the point where I was willing to sponsor this person to move them out of country and to go with them to a new place in order to help them start a new life. I was willing and ready to provide financial, practical and psychological support to the best of my capacity, I got in touch with everyone who was willing to help, I've looked into unconventional and barely legal solutions...
Sadly, this wasn't enough to save the person. They withdrawn communication with a warning that they are going to CTB within the next few days and will only get in touch to say goodbye, and even that is not definite yet. They do not want to keep chatting, even while they're still here.

I feel a deep sense of loss, and I think I can relate to what you feel. I am sorry that this happened to you. This forum is a very sad place. It's great that we can connect here, and it brings relief and hope while it lasts. But I guess we should all come in here ready to let go. The person you've been talking to might just not be in a good place to talk, either mentally or physically - they might be in a hospital or may be worried about other people seeing this site, or even just not have access to the Internet for whatever reason. It is not your fault and not a reflection of your relationship with that person. I understand that it hurts and that you're lonely, and I'm sorry. Maybe you'll meet more people here, or just hang out with us as a crowd, it feels less lonely, though I understand that this doesn't exactly feel like a personal connection.

You're very wise Nessie. Much wiser than me. I'm sorry things turned out this way for you. It really hurts when you care about somebody and do your utmost to help but it's not enough. It won't hurt any less but you'll always know that you did everything you possibly could.

With certain people their personality shines through their posts and I have a very strong sense of who they are even if I don't interact with them. You're one of those people and you bring a lot to the forum.

I relate to your situation from a different petspective. Irl there is someone who desperately wants me to survive and would do everything they could to help me. Nothing can salvage my life and it's too late for me. I'm holding this person back and I feel guilty about it. I also feel bad because their cat will miss me too.

I don't know about your connection with the person on here but sometimes it's a case of right person wrong time.

I feel sad for you.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

sometimes it's a case of right person wrong time.

These are some very wise words that sum up these kind of situations very nicely. Thank you for sharing.

I don't know what else to say, but I am grateful for your kindness, and I am deeply sorry for your situation. The cat and their human are lucky to have you in their lives, while you're still here. It's too bad that you can't stay, but I guess sometimes it's just the sad truth of life.

I hope we can all find someone who can make our lives a little less lonely. Even just for a while.

 

[MelancholyMagic]

Nope. I generally dislike chatting with people online anyways. Having to wait a minimum of 30 seconds between each message is frustrating. Besides, I am not a pleasure to talk with, and I do not want to subject anyone to conversing with me.

In regards to your specific situation, unless they said they planned to ctb and then stopped answering, I would assume they're still around. If people start to 'feel better', they cast this website aside (until they feel they need it again).

 

[HateMyPointlessLife]

Nope. I generally dislike chatting with people online anyways. Having to wait a minimum of 30 seconds between each message is frustrating. Besides, I am not a pleasure to talk with, and I do not want to subject anyone to conversing with me.

In regards to your specific situation, unless they said they planned to ctb and then stopped answering, I would assume they're still around. If people start to 'feel better', they cast this website aside (until they feel they need it again).

Same. People seem to generally find me dull and depressing whether it's in real life or online. And I don't blame them. If I didn't have no other choice, I wouldn't want to be around myself either.

 

[Why Me?]

If you can get some therapy out of getting to know someone here, be grateful for it, and enjoy it, but just know that it probably won't last, and it may end sooner than you expect it to. People are only human, so what do you expect from them. Just appreciate what you got out of the interaction.

I also found that talking about depression & bad circumstances can get really boring really fast. When you don't really have a life, and you don't have much ambition for the future, what can you talk about? It all becomes repetitive. Its just really annoying when people are phony and can't just be honest about things, and they take the coward's way out (ghosting or something similar).

If someone is dead broke, why mention to them your high income, or stupid stuff you're willing to spend money on, when you know it wouldn't take much to save that person's life? At that point, it's insulting, because clearly you are pretending that you care about that person's life but you really don't. You're not obligated to help someone financially, but don't insult their intelligence, and be inconsiderate.

Humans are selfish. Once they get their needs met, and don't need you anymore, they will only stick around for your needs if they really care, but who REALLY cares? This is why when you're desperate, it's best not to have feelings, or expectations because it can make things worse.

If I vent to someone, and they barely respond, and they don't even put effort into their response, that let's me know they've checked out, and it's not worth communicating further unless for my own amusement.

I've never had a real friend in life, or friend worth having, and now it's not even worth it trying to make a friend. I also now realize I have become very very boring, and so has my personality, so why would anyone want to be friends with me anyway. All I can talk about is my disgusting situation, unpleasant issues, trauma, and very limited options. I am accepting this truth and finding peace with it. The kind of peace that will allow me to CTB knowing it's for the best.

 

[lionetta12]

I met someone on here and we chatted everyday for a few weeks. It was just two people talking honestly and openly about their lives and plans to CTB. For the first time in a long time, I could discuss my feelings with someone without any judgment and everyday I looked forward to chatting to this person.

Now they have disappeared and my messages have gone unanswered. I feel really upset about it.

Has this happened to anyone else?

I met some people on here that ended up CTB. We spoke about pretty deep stuff and they told me a lot about their lives and struggles. What upsets me is not that they CTB. I understand why they did. I don't blame them. I tried to help find solutions for them to maybe make life bearable but they were honest with how much they had tried and nothing will solve their issue. What I'm upset about is that they were good people, and that others drove them to CTB. It sucks and I feel bad about it and wish that these good people could keep living and have a life without so much suffering, they had so much to give. But I'm happy to know that they do not have to suffer anymore even though I'm upset that people around them made their life a living hell.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I met someone on here and we chatted everyday for a few weeks. It was just two people talking honestly and openly about their lives and plans to CTB. For the first time in a long time, I could discuss my feelings with someone without any judgment and everyday I looked forward to chatting to this person.

Now they have disappeared and my messages have gone unanswered. I feel really upset about it.

Has this happened to anyone else?

It happens a lot .

We're all human, getting attached to others , even if they are only letters on a screen is very normal.
I'm approaching my 3 year ' celebration ' here, unfortunately lost some great people who I've been in longer or shorter contact with. Some ctb others just disappeared.

But I'm grateful for having met them.

Just try to remember that especially in a place like this people come and go.
Some even come back :)

 

[Lily (Osako)]

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Losing people, even online people can be very painful. On here, while it's mostly expected, it's still shocking when it happens. It still hurts.
I don't know about other people, but I tend to isolate quite a bit and when I do, I don't respond to text/messages or answer my phone.
I'm not trying to be rude or hurtful, I just can't bring myself to connect with anyone at the time.
Whatever the case is with your friend, please try not to take it personally.
I won't say don't let it bother you bc I know that's impossible when you care about someone.
Sending you a big hug.

 

[almaranthine]

I'm sorry they haven't gotten back to you. Hopefully they are just taking a break from the site or something. Then again, they could be trying to improve their lives and recover somehow and may find it difficult to talk with an online friend they made on a suicide forum. Regardless of their reasoning, it's so painful to get close to someone and then stop hearing from them, whether it's online or in person. Not knowing why is the worst part... you start to wonder if you were the problem or a burden to the person and blame yourself (or at least I do). I've gone through being ghosted and dropped so many times that I find it very hard to get close to people anymore. I don't have any advice on how to avoid becoming like this. I hope you feel better though. Best wishes.

 

[Butterfly Moon]

Im sorry about that. I'm new here so I don't know anyone yet but I have had this happen to me elsewhere. It really sucks. Hugs