I know I could be "better" if it was really worth the effort and maybe that would make others around me happier but I'll never truly be happy.
I lost all will to try at life when it finally sunk in I'm too ugly and short for genuine loving relationships. I used to have lots of artistic hobbies and was very active, biking, swimming, lifting weights etc.
I'm so anhedonic now I can barely participate in conversations and have almost no interest in other people at all, I know a real girl will never love me and most other men won't respect me for not being able to attract one, so I don't want to do anything but lay in bed and nod on as much Kratom as I can keep in my stomach without puking. If I had the social connections I would be taking something stronger and hopefully OD'ing at some point but all I can get is what I can buy at the smoke shop.
If I was 6 feet or taller tomorrow I wouldn't even want to CTB at all, nor would I keep neglecting and poisoning my body. I'd probably actually make an effort to interact with my family and friend as well.
There's no point in trying when no matter what you'll never really be happy.
I lost all will to try at life when it finally sunk in I'm too ugly and short for genuine loving relationships. I used to have lots of artistic hobbies and was very active, biking, swimming, lifting weights etc.
I'm so anhedonic now I can barely participate in conversations and have almost no interest in other people at all, I know a real girl will never love me and most other men won't respect me for not being able to attract one, so I don't want to do anything but lay in bed and nod on as much Kratom as I can keep in my stomach without puking. If I had the social connections I would be taking something stronger and hopefully OD'ing at some point but all I can get is what I can buy at the smoke shop.
If I was 6 feet or taller tomorrow I wouldn't even want to CTB at all, nor would I keep neglecting and poisoning my body. I'd probably actually make an effort to interact with my family and friend as well.
There's no point in trying when no matter what you'll never really be happy.
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