Anyone here suicidal because of mental defects?

[waterrrrrrrrrbottel]

I'm just wondering... is anyone too slow to keep up with people around your age level, whether it be socially or academically? I'm not different enough to be diagnosed with anything... but my mother's genetics have almost guaranteed made me slower. It's enough to make me want to die.

 

[Ultracheese]

It's a similar situation on my end. I have the social skills of a third-grader. Academically, I'm ahead in some subjects but incredibly behind in others, so school is super stressful.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I've always had issues with ADD and anxiety. Rendered me useless and unable to self regulate.

 

[rifle]

I'm painfully stupid, "can't add metaphorical 2&2" level of stupid. I regularly end up in a situation where I have all the right info staring me in the face and I still can't make a connection and come to a simple conclusion. the simplest of tasks bring me to tears pretty often because I manage to fuck up them.
I also barely finished high school, so.

 

[DaatiSimi]

Not sure if this is what you are referring to but ADHD+Autism+Borderline Personality Disorder here

 

[spinningship]

Autism so very far behind socially which leads to exploitation.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Went from around an IQ of 130 as a child to now being at 95 IQ after years of CFS, PTSD, and other bullshit illnesses. My mind continues to deteriorate and I lost all I had to live for, which was being able to try and build a career in spite of my upbringing and my autism. I am the laughing stock of every place I ever volunteered or worked at (besides a low skill office job) because of how profoundly my attention span, concentration, learning and memory, reading comprehension, and other measures of intelligence have been affected by chronic illness. I hate it here.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Went from around an IQ of 130 as a child to now being at 95 IQ after years of CFS, PTSD, and other bullshit illnesses. My mind continues to deteriorate and I lost all I had to live for, which was being able to try and build a career in spite of my upbringing and my autism. I am the laughing stock of every place I ever volunteered or worked at (besides a low skill office job) because of how profoundly my attention span, concentration, learning and memory, reading comprehension, and other measures of intelligence have been affected by chronic illness. I hate it here.

One would never guess from your contributions here.

 

[waterrrrrrrrrbottel]

I'm painfully stupid, "can't add metaphorical 2&2" level of stupid. I regularly end up in a situation where I have all the right info staring me in the face and I still can't make a connection and come to a simple conclusion. the simplest of tasks bring me to tears pretty often because I manage to fuck up them.
I also barely finished high school, so.

This is generally how I feel about myself. We're in the same boat, on different seas. My social skills and general tendencies make me feel like something deeper is going on.

 

[NotHuman]

Poor memory and attention span, appalling processing speed, hearing loss, tinnitus, autism, and an auditory processing disorder which makes it difficult to separate a conversation happening right in front of me from background noise together form an unbeatable combo that effectively cuts me off from the human race.

All I've ever had going for me socially are my active listening skills which qualify me to be a toilet for everybody's problems; not even a free therapist since no one cares what I have to say, they just want an audience.

 

[CTB Dream]

Noww ofc injury damage lose all abili no able doany befre write ease do skill ease now all go lose all , even before say ctb wabt imagine now injury damage say ctb more more

 

[Message In A Bottle]

I have a strong suspicion I have inattentive ADHD paired with RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) both go hand in hand. Girls with ADHD are often overlooked, and eating disorders can run prevalent with them.

I've done so much reasearch trying to figure out what's wrong with me…and I keep coming back to that. People's accounts of what it is like are a mirror similarity to mine.

It can look like other illnesses but unlike others where I show some symptoms here and there - this ticks all the boxes.

It would explain so much for me - why I choose to live in my own bubble rather than the outer world. The social anxiety, rapid thought patterns, extreme forgetfulness…and so on.

I know as soon I get a diagnosis for it though the doctors will go "ka-ching!" And want to put me on even more medications. Idk if I wanna go through all that. I was already a victim of big pharma's exploitation at a young age, so do I really want to go through all that hassle again?

I don't know.

 

[waterrrrrrrrrbottel]

I have a strong suspicion I have inattentive ADHD paired with RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) both go hand in hand. Girls with ADHD are often overlooked, and eating disorders can run prevalent with them.

I've done so much reasearch trying to figure out what's wrong with me…and I keep coming back to that. People's accounts of what it is like are a mirror similarity to mine.

It can look like other illnesses but unlike others where I show some symptoms here and there - this ticks all the boxes.

It would explain so much for me - why I choose to live in my own bubble rather than the outer world. The social anxiety, rapid thought patterns, extreme forgetfulness…and so on.

I know as soon I get a diagnosis for it though the doctors will go "ka-ching!" And want to put me on even more medications. Idk if I wanna go through all that. I was already a victim of big pharma's exploitation at a young age, so do I really want to go through all that hassle again?

I don't know.

If it makes you feel better, self diagnosis is valid and you don't need a medical diagnosis to feel okay. Especially when you consider how ableist the medical field still is.

Went from around an IQ of 130 as a child to now being at 95 IQ after years of CFS, PTSD, and other bullshit illnesses. My mind continues to deteriorate and I lost all I had to live for, which was being able to try and build a career in spite of my upbringing and my autism. I am the laughing stock of every place I ever volunteered or worked at (besides a low skill office job) because of how profoundly my attention span, concentration, learning and memory, reading comprehension, and other measures of intelligence have been affected by chronic illness. I hate it here.

I'm sending you my love.

 

[Sadgirldaisy]

Yes. I can't figure out what it is that keeps me from functioning like a normal person, but I get treated like an imbecile nearly everywhere I go. I've been tested for god knows how many things but nothing is "wrong" so it can't be fixed. Idk im at a loss. On paper I'm fine but in reality I'm a screw up. I just wish I had a cause to point to.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

One would never guess from your contributions here.

Thank you, I suppose it is easier for me to type than it is to actually articulate anything in spoken word, although I've always had issues with mutism and verbal communication thanks to autism. I often feel like I am being repetitive though, and even forget who I have spoken to here and who I haven't, which is frustrating when someone like you leaves me a very lovely comment and then I can't remember that it happened a day later.

I believe this forum is a very low stress and supportive way of communicating, because we can take things at our own pace and be honest and unfiltered here, rather than having to keep in mind a billion social rules and graces or hiding one's innermost thoughts. I hate irl interaction because my brain is simply lagged out all the time and I cannot think of anything to say, my stupidity is always on full display for all to see.

I wish no one had to suffer from cognitive issues, because like others have said, doctors do not take it seriously and there isn't very much you can do about these issues if you cannot find an underlying cause that is treatable.

 

[Versailles]

Autism, depression, MDD and mental instability, I really don't fit in this world and there's no point in forcing myself to adapt to something that will end up kicking me anyway, so it's better to escape for me honestly

 

[GasMonkey]

My situation definitely has a mental component (and physical too).