anyone here have no freinds

[8evergo]

i have the best frend in the world

myself

 

[Forgetting5]

I've always been introverted I've had few friends in the past but I never did much with them

 

[Againstthewind]

Are friends the be all end all? I've always found true loneliness is having people around you who are there, but they don't care about your problems, they are self centered to themselves, and think you bring them down. They're just there. Surely that's better then having no one? At least you know where you stand in that, only you understand you, I dunno, sometimes people do more harm than good.

 

[Josh007]

what is this maslow hierachy of needs?

what sucks about adulthood is that people will slowly drift away and it becomes harder to make freinds

what sucks about adulthood is that people slowly drift away and it becomes harder to make freinds

The classic one has 5 layers. This is a proposed updated one, I don't remember where I got it from . I think the theory of needs is mostly accurate since the better your circumstances the better person you are, and so the spiral of happiness reinforces itself .

 

[LONE WOLF.]

My house mate checks in on me if she hasn't seen me for a few week's and occasionally pop's in for a cuppa! That's about the extent of my interaction's with Society oh except when I have to go out to collect my weekly prescription!

 

[lofticries]

I've never had irl friends in my life. I've always been alone so it doesnt bother me much now. One best friend would be awesome though. But I don't like the thought anything else holding me back from ctb.

 

[eve2004]

I had about... one person I saw occasionally at the gym before the pandemic. During the pandemic, I felt fine being isolated because I had a good excuse (for myself). Now I speak to my therapist and no one else. Some days I wake up and realize I have not spoken in 3 days...
I had about... one person I saw occasionally at the gym before the pandemic. During the pandemic, I felt fine being isolated because I had a good excuse (for myself). Now I speak to my therapist and no one else. Some days I wake up and realize I have not spoken in 3 days...

View attachment 95293 The classic one has 5 layers. This is a proposed updated one, I don't remember where I got it from . I think the theory of needs is mostly accurate since the better your circumstances the better person you are, and so the spiral of happiness reinforces itself .

I like this. Thanks. I'm stuck on dark purple.

 

[Laggy]

Sometimes I really wish I had friends because I'm lonely. But I think in a sad way it's better that I don't have friends, because communicating with people and making arrangements, etc., takes so much energy. The idea of having friends exhausts me. And yet, I do kind of want some.

That pyramid of needs posted upthread is intense, by the way. Like, even if I were able to feel like I belonged somewhere, there would still be four more layers of needs (and some of them sound unobtainable) before I'd feel okay? ):

 

[Marktheghost]

i have the best frend in the world

myself

Hang on... Aren't I the best friend in the world?

(Mind you, I'm not friends with anyone at the moment, so you could claim I'm not a friend right now, and you can therefore claim to be the best friend by default or something.)

 

[ImsooDone1N]

I've absolutely no one. Everyone has left me. Just some family, and I'm so unwell I can't even talk to them. I wouldn't wish this hell on anyone, but, at least I know my horrible existence is gonna come to an end soon.

 

[8evergo]

Hang on... Aren't I the best friend in the world?

(Mind you, I'm not friends with anyone at the moment, so you could claim I'm not a friend right now, and you can therefore claim to be the best friend by default or something.)

ask whom , the best answer comes from yourself:wink.

 

[VirtualSnow]

there would still be four more layers of needs (and some of them sound unobtainable) before I'd feel okay? ):

Not really, the pyramid isn't a natural law, it doesn't work on all cases, and I'd even say it isn't an actual measure.

 

[GentleJerk]

My idea of a good life borrows points from Epicurianism, so I believe friendship is important. A life of as little pain in the body and trouble in the soul as possible, essentially. Not overflowing with sensual pleasures, like an elaborate hyped up party, but more like a nice candle-lit dinner at a table with loved ones, jokes, and enough food from the garden for all.

"...Of all the things which wisdom has contrived which contribute to a blessed life, none is more important, more fruitful, than friendship." - Cicero.

But unfortunately friendship can be a source of great disappointment, misfortune, pain, and betrayal. As I have learned. In this sense, I borrow a point from Buddhism. It is better to have no friends, than to keep the company of fools, fake friends, and those that may harm you.

This makes for a sort of life where I seem to have distant friendships that disappear and resurface from time to time, as I refrain from placing great importance on attachment to others. I simply be there for those I love, as much as doable, without expecting them to be there for me in return. Operating in a way that is mutually beneficial for all, with neither selfish greed nor excessive altruistic sacrifice. (except for my daughter, I will literally break my back and drain my very life for her happiness if I needed to)

As I get older, I seem to have less and less of these so-called friendships. Surely, I could go out of my way to foster closer and more numerous friendships, and If I decided to do so, my life would be abundant with buddies and pals. Chummmmmmm.....ps. But this is not something I care enough about to warrant such dedicated efforts.

...Anyway. Yeah. If you have no friends, you can at least enjoy the fact that you don't have people in your life whom you are obligated to, that cause suffering and take away your peace. So I feel for you but it could be worse.

 

[Celerity]

I have had friends before, but they didn't stick around. They were weak-willed and flighty people.

This video comes to mind when I think of them.

 

[swab]

Had them or thought I had them. With my personality and obsessive fears of abandonment I cant keep them close or even have them. I have people I hang out with but none that I would truly consider friends.

 

[NSA]

The last time I had friends was in elementary school. They all moved away when I started middle school and I never learned how to make new ones. I don't even know how I had the ones I did. They just appeared one day. Then disappeared.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

My best friend died (in fact everyone I would talk to regularly died this year) and I don't really have anyone else I'd call a proper friend(as in hang out with and stuff) besides people I can chat to on here . Even with my best friend we were quite distant, I always felt bad about him contacting me all the time and not vice versa. Besides them I haven't had real friends for longer than years.

 

[Mixo]

There was a time in my life I had many friends and acquaintances, but those days are long gone. I often wish I had more closer, irl friends, but then I remember that most people are generally not worth the time or effort.

 

[DoneWithIt21]

You're not alone

 

[KQuotientW]

I have been stuck living in this insular, parochial, tiny, country town for almost 10 years, and region for about 15 years. I've a got a few friends that I hardly see. Make that 1 friend now, because the others recently got into trouble with the law for doing something stupid, and they are people who've worked as first responders who should definitely know better. So, 1 friend I hardly see.

Basically, most people who are not "locals" who've moved here from elsewhere, realise that tiny, country towns can be closed off to outsiders. However, there are ways to break through that wall. You take drugs and drink yourselves silly everyday, spending all day, everyday, completely blazed; you join committees and suck up to the "locals", feeling grateful if they throw you a crumb, like some kind of sycophant (and local police are mostly born and bred here too, also on committees in their spare time); you join a clique, then spend your days making up stories about the other cliques and spreading vile rumours. I'd rather sit through 10 hours of bad movies on Tubi than run other people down for my own entertainment, given a choice. I refuse to lower myself, so I'm on the outer.

I wish I could move back to the city, though, I'd miss the kangaroos and the kookaburras, because this town is painful. I drive to other places for entertainment and socialising because this town, and 90% of this shire, completely sucks. I've lived in a number of rural areas around Australia and this one is the worst. Can't afford to move, though.

Also, when I became a carer for my terminally ill mother, most of my old "friends" abandoned me. Death and cancer just saw people disappearing rather than support me. So many people have let me down. I'm 49 years old now. People suck.

 

[ncmxm]

yeah it's difficult. 80% of the time i am completely content, and even happy, with the fact that i am friendless. but then the 20%, usually on holidays/major events i feel so fucking lonely and sad and i really regret being so anti social.

I'm the exact same way

I used to have friends. It's hard to imagine someone that never did. Same thing with sexual stuff. I'm an adult virgin but then I read about those that never kissed a girl. Thats another league. It implies a completely failed life, but only if you let it be that. I used mysticism, philosophy and paranormal weirdness to convince myself that there is something else to life than being a succesful living organism.

Maybe don't talk about other people's completely failed life on a suicide website? Some people on here might be in the situation you're describing

 

[dereck64]

i have the best frend in the world

myself

I don't have any at all always been alone zll my life had enough

I don't have any at all always been alone zll my life had enough

All

 

[abyss]

No but I used to. Maintaining friends is a bit of a chore. I've been let down and I've let down others. Friends who love us unconditionally in a platonic way are very rare. Usually there needs to be a give and take dynamic and mutual benefit or else it will fail. As cynical as it sounds, human interactions are almost always transactional in nature.

 

[Night_Crew]

Absolutely none whatsoever

After the end of a 10-year intense relationship, I fell into a destructive cycle (that is in many ways still ongoing).

I stopped contact with all friends I had due to chronic embarrassment and not being mentally strong enough to be able to cope with hearing about the good things in their lives when I had hot rock bottom.

Now, I have absolutely nobody and have probably deteriorated so much mentally and physically that I never will again.

 

[Blue_mist]

I've deleted all my social media accounts. I don't want to communicate with people anymore including my mother (she always cares about me) and my best friend from elementary school except my account in this forum. I hate people and i don't want to interact with them anymore

 

[reverse03]

No friends. They just call me friend because they see me weekly. But aside from that, they don't really acknowledge me as friend.

 

[Zegers]

I had a couple of good friends with whom lost contact, nowadays i am completely alone. People is not drawned to me either because my life sucks and OR bore me so i don't put too much energy into it. People are also a pain in the ass, i think if you are healthy and self-confident the loneliness could be bearable.

 

[Hollowillow]

In my whole life ive never had much friends and never had friends invited over to my home, anyone else have the same situation as I do

Yeah... The "friend" i have now tell me about going out but not invited.

1rst time. She bullied my physical pain with her friend, a nurse, who was supposed to help me, but immitated cries like a child mocking me, while my friend said it's standard procedure. When she invited me to meet a new friend but demanded ZERO NEGATIVITY I gave up trying...

 

[Rocinante]

None since I graduated school. Two online friends are my only social interaction

 

[Hollowillow]

I reached out here by pm and people replied but I'm too scared to ruin it to read & reply *facepalm* bonding is hard. I'll reply soon...