Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is a good option, it was literally invented to treat BPD and has helped a lot of people, more than medication since BPD is about learned responses. From what I can tell its more effective than medication and also other forms of therapy. But what I will say is don't be totally afraid of medication, it could be helpful in the early treatment stages. DBT will provide you with a lot of concrete tools to combat that long term, but medication might be helpful in the mean time while you are building up those skills. I won't suggest any medications because I'm not a doctor and I don't want to overstep, but I know BPD can get misdiagnosed as Bipolar because of the intensity of the mood swings. Perhaps some medication that treat that could work short term. I hope this helps! Good luck, a diagnosis can be scary but if you think about it in a way its something to be excited about, these are problems you've been dealing with but now you know what you have has a name, there there are communities of people who have what you have and will understand exactly what you're feeling without thinking you're "crazy" and give you advice about what worked for them and between your new community and quality professional care this could be a chance for real positive change.
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