Anyone ever wonder why you?

[Buffy5120]

Anyone ever wonder why did any/all of this happen to you? All these illnesses/diseases when theres tons of people that rob banks/steal/kill all the time. Why dont they have to deal with any hardships? I question this everyday. My life is so ironic its crazy because I wasnt born with any illnesses but now have 20. I really just want to know why do some of us have to suffer so much more than others while theres literally people that never go through anything in their lives and probably never will? What did we do to deserve any of this? For the most part, as I look back, all of my illnesses were completely unavoidable and happened by fucking accident. Survival instinct is ruining my life.

 

[meetapple]

You can ponder this forever. It is just dumb luck. It is your DNA and the random environmental conditions you have been exposed to. To me it disproves the existence of god. Why would god be so random? It is disheartening to say the least.

 

[rationaltake]

I do feel I drew the short straw. It all seems to be arbitrary.

However, I have been thinking lately that a small minority of people on earth have a charmed life. These people are vastly outnumbered by those who suffer.

 

[NatalLiminality]

It's all outside of your control. Pure luck

 

[cambrai33]

I think those we see around us are not leading the perfect lives that they project, I suspect so many are facing battles within themselves that they keep hidden

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I think those we see around us are not leading the perfect lives that they project, I suspect so many are facing battles within themselves that they keep hidden

This

That said, yeah, all the time. Despite being such a dark person most of my life though, I was usually that person that had something funny or witty or just plain crazy to say. Was usually there to help others in any way I could, used to hug everyone and listen to their problems. Help out financially in small ways whenever I could, yet, despite all this life continues to shit all over me. Not saying I did these things for some kind of karmic reward, I did them because there is more than enough hate and darkness in the world. I simply wanted to bring a little light and joy into people's lives because it is the right thing to do. But having to deal with horrible situations and constantly losing at life over and over again has broken me down to the point where I just can't anymore. Is it unfair? Maybe, but it is what it is and I am just tired of it. I want to rest.

 

[Callie Arcale]

Quite the contrary.

When I start feeling jealous of healthy people, I say to myself: "Why not me?"
This life is random and absurd. Anything can happen to anyone. And something bad has happened to me. No big deal… the sky is not falling down. I'm unlucky, just as millions others are.

I will never accept my illness, or learn to live with it, or find a deeper meaning in this torture, but at least I never ask myself "Why me?".

 

[Chinaski]

I think those we see around us are not leading the perfect lives that they project, I suspect so many are facing battles within themselves that they keep hidden

This is absolutely true and weirdly the more we strive to present ourselves on various social media formats as living our best lives, the more the negative sense of self will internalise as we compare ourselves against the very best of how they look, rather than the very worst of how they feel.

Having said that, personally it's very difficult to not feel a fatalistic bitterness at times, l have always been prone to miserablism and have had a lifelong sense that suicide was an inevitability, yet l snapped out of this a few years ago and never looked back. I didn't just "recover", l actually thrived. Then some fucking incompetent medical professional performs a basic everyday procedure and ruins my life with it, doctors have spent the last year fobbing me off with dismissive, patronising bullshit as l become increasingly unable to function. It's difficult not to think that there's a little man in a little room somewhere engineering this, laughing at my expense, running a sweepstake with his dickhead mates to see how much l will endure before l do the deed, playfully cranking up the pressure at for his own amusement and yeah, sometimes in periods of deep self-pity l can't help but wish he'd pick on some other fucker for a change.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Yes I do often wonder why me…as in why did Me do this to myself? If Me did this to anyone else they'd rightfully be arrested for harassment. The amount of abuse that guy throws at me every day is horrible. And yet I do know why he does this to myself. It's because I do the same to him. We are locked in this never ending cycle of abusing each other and forcing the other to live in misery and the only thing that will make it right is if one of us kills the other therefore killing themself as well.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is just meaningless suffering. Everything is determined by luck and chance and it is all out of our control. We are only here because of evolution, we have not done anything to deserve this. We did not ask to be alive. Many people are disadvantaged through no fault of their own. This life has unlimited potential for suffering, if we think we have it bad now it can get so much worse. The truth is that life is very unfair. Karma does not exist. Overall, I see it as better to never be born in the first place. The cause of all our problems is the fact that we exist in the first place. Life itself is the true problem.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I spend a lot of time picking through every moment of my past creating a clear narrative of how this came to be… Tracing all the way back to my earliest memories… Shame, self loathing, fear, anxiety…

 

[Snake of Eden]

The higher the fly the deeper is the plunge. People who never experienced suffering get traumatized much more when they find themselves in a bad place. Like a rich person who loses all his fortune overnight. Or someone who is in love and never got their heart broken losing their beloved will be affected much more. It is just how it is

 

[WonderingSoul]

I've come to a point where I ask myself the same thing every single day. Most likely just cosmic randomness that threw me into this position, but I kinda like to ponder on other reasons like bad karma from my past life or a sadomasochistic god that likes to watch us suffer. Who knows.

 

[Crazy4u]

I would never know why and I accepted that a long time ago. The worst thing about life IMO is injustice. Karma doesn't work! I always felt bad thinga happen to good people and vice versa