Update!
Yesterday at the Death Cafe I went to, which was held at a community spiritual/recreation center (they can be held at actual cafes, private homes, mortuaries, online, etc) and organized by a woman who works as a death doula, I listened and talked to mainly 5 other people for an hour and a half about mainly our perceptions of death, the afterlife, and navigating the death of a loved one with loved ones. Suicide and MAID were mentioned toward the end, but explicitly in the context of terminal illness / to avoid prolonged suffering at the end of life due to physical illness or incapacitation. There was the shared sense of respect for individual rights to self-determination, though, which to me was especially refreshing to feel. It was the first time I can think of being in a room with strangers surrounded by such respect and a willingness to talk about death frankly and with curiosity. Most people were >60 y/o, which left me in the minority, age-wise (I'm <30 y/o), but I was actually very glad to be questioning and exploring perceptions of death and the afterlife with people who were far older than me; it just goes to show how mysterious death really is to the living, and that experiences of living after a loved one has died can bear the striking commonality of the continuation of a sense of connection to the one passed on. It was beautiful, it was funny, and it was invigorating to me in the sense that hearing other people talk about their experiences after someone close to them passed made me feel an even greater desire to form and maintain connections to people who I care about. People remember things about those they cared about -- stupid things like the way that they whistled, even -- but those memories can resurface after the loved one has passed and are imbued with meaning in that the memories are experienced by someone. Memories might be the most precious thing I can leave other people with.
I'd like to attend another death cafe, and I do think there's the possibility of bringing up suicide, which I look forward to, given that part of the basis of the death cafe concept is that it is not a support group, therapy, or grief counseling space.
Some questions I intend to remind myself to bring up later:
Does the idea of death itself (distinct from the process of death/dying) being peaceful appeal to you? Have you struggled to feel as though you agree with that sentiment, and why?
Is the idea of there being no afterlife at all (I've toyed with the term 'spiritual atomization' to describe what might happen to someone's identity/consciousness upon dying) disturbing or in opposition to peace, to you? Why?
There is a Swiss organization, Pegasos, that offers assisted suicide services for any adult, regardless of terminal illness status/diagnosis, for ~10000 USD plus the trip to Switzerland. What is your reaction to the idea that the non-impulsive decision to die by a physically healthy, rational adult of any age should ultimately be respected by other adults?
