Anyone else who do not want to get "help"?

[theboy]

Sometimes I need help to die
Sometimes I need help to live

 

[ctemourge]

everytime i ask for help im shoved with meds that dont work and ones ive told my psychiatrist do not work. if hospitalized they just keep me there until i lie and say nope wont hurt myself! i think the "help" offered is just a liability issue and just put in place to make it seem like theres options

 

[lostintheloop]

I used to want help but nothing worked. I realised the problem was me and life itself not an illness or situation. Now I see nothing in life that I want or would make it worth staying. It all feels pointless so I don't want help to drag out my suffering.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Only if help has the following chemical formula:

 

[astonishedturnip]

Expensive hospital stay, useless therapy appointments that take months just to lock down, a support system that isn't actually there for me, "it gets better (as long as you are rich, have lots of friends, have the privilege to take 5 months off you job, are married with kids to support you, etc.)" blog posts, or a hotline respondent that seems to secretly hate you. Top tier Help lmao

 

[feelinggloomy]

My version of "help" is CTB

 

[Death is my goal]

help lol

 

[feelinggloomy]

I want help. I'm getting help. I have a beautiful life on paper. I'm a professional and so is my husband, we own a nice home, live comfortably, etc. My husband loves me and is supportive. I have friends. I have some family that aren't toxic and my husband's family adores me. We have dogs we adore and have been planning on getting pregnant. I have resources. I have an incredible therapist who is literally the reason I haven't attempted yet. I take medications that do help take the edge off things.

And yet, this past year has just been pain. I mean, as I realize I suffer from complex trauma, it is clear that my whole life has been pain. This past year has put it all in stark relief. I don't want to be here. My life I've built, the help I'm getting, none of it matters in the face of this agony. It's like trying to empty an ocean one spoonful at a time.

This resonates with me because so many people tell you what you have to life and be happy for. They believed my son led a charmed life … but in reality he was tortured. And for me I have good job and partner and friends but I'm tormented by grief and I want to die. I get a good life on paper has nothing to do with what's in your head

 

[persef]

I've never been rich. But the only thing that held me back in this world were animals. Everything I had I always used to help animals in situations of abuse or abandonment. And that brought me into debt. For me, the only thing that makes life worth living is love. I think that's why I was always surrounded by animals, because it was the only true love I could feel. I never had someone who really cared about me. So even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have anyone to ask for help.

 

[terra.nuvo]

Its kind of a confusing situation for me cause on one hand I want help and to get better but on the other I feel like I'm a lost cause and its not even worth me trying. I think the amount that getting help can actually help me to recover depends on the amount of work I'm willing to put in to get better but I'm all out of energy to try and be better. So I'm stuck trying to figure out whether Im willing to try recovery or just get on with CTB.