In my case my wish to die certainly isn't some kind of "illness", I find it very insane and insulting when pro-life people act like wanting to die always is one. The problem lies in existence itself rather than the very valid wish to permanently be relieved from it, I see suicide as very rational to escape from the futile and torturous burden that is human existence.
I want to cease existing on my own terms as I have awareness of how existence is very undesirable, existence itself is just an unnecessary harm, it's such a terrible, horrific tragedy how life even existed at all, causing so much meaningless suffering, pain and torment as a result.
I don't see any value to existing as a conscious being just slowly dying, I'd always see it as better to not exist no matter what, I see those who worship this cruel and pointless existence that there was never a need for in the first place as being delusional.
No matter what I'll always see the peace of eternal sleep as preferable to decaying and deteriorating from age in this existence where there is no limit as to how much one can suffer, to me only eternal nothingness is ideal.
