Anyone else want to CTB due to previous attempt injuries?

[ihatemyselfwanttodi]

Honestly there's a big part of me now that truly doesn't wish to die anymore after my last mental breakdown and attempt. I made such a half-assed attempt at partial hanging myself and fucked up my spinal area in my neck somehow.

So stupid, but now I feel like I have to CTB because I can't live with the repercussions of it honestly.

 

[imnotsurewhy]

I m sorry your plan failed that must have been scary i dont know what reprucussions you are dealing with but i bet they suck youre not stupid tho sometimes its just doesnt work

 

[ihatemyselfwanttodi]

I m sorry your plan failed that must have been scary i dont know what reprucussions you are dealing with but i bet they suck youre not stupid tho sometimes its just doesnt work

Yeah, the big problem was that it wasn't planned at all. It was a very impulsive thing without any thought at all. I freaked out. Hadn't slept in weeks, was so over stressed with life events and my own decisions that led to them, that I made everything worse by injuring myself. I don't know if I'd want to CTB now had I not injured myself if that makes sense? But also at the same time part of me has accepted I've fucked up so bad and I can end it now.

 

[imnotsurewhy]

Yeah, the big problem was that it wasn't planned at all. It was a very impulsive thing without any thought at all. I freaked out. Hadn't slept in weeks, was so over stressed with life events and my own decisions that led to them, that I made everything worse by injuring myself. I don't know if I'd want to CTB now had I not injured myself if that makes sense? But also at the same time part of me has accepted I've fucked up so bad and I can end it now.

I still dont think its stupid you were just hurting impulsive decisions happen Please try to have some empathy for yourself sending you virtual Hug

 

[ihatemyselfwanttodi]

I still dont think its stupid you were just hurting impulsive decisions happen Please try to have some empathy for yourself sending you virtual Hug

Thank you, I really appreciate that. It's been a few months now and I've beaten myself up pretty much every single day since. The only thing that's let me calm down and let go is knowing I've got SN on hand now.