Anyone else waiting till holiday's are over to CTB?

[evey8112]

I was planning to CTB this month "December" but i just cant add the extra pain too my family so i am going to wait ill January to CTB. I been on and off this forum for over a year and i am just too tired for this life. I feel like an empty shell and i have no motivation for the upcoming year. I am so tired of the repeating cycle on pain that NEVER ends. I am sure a ton of you can relate to the never ending hamster wheel that never ends. I had a great opportunity about a month ago to travel and work but i fucked that up due to taking pills to end my daily pain. I am tired of this society that just wants to shove pills down your throat to "CURE" the problem which never works. I was afraid of death like most of you but i am at the point i just cant deal with this shit anymore and we are all going to die anyway. In 100 years everyone reading this will be dead and your family as well. We are meaningless humans trying to prove something to a society that only rewards people who have the right looks or have money and if you are average well you are trash says society. The people that lived in the 1900"s or 1950's have been forgotten and so will we. I am somewhat at peace now knowing it will all end soon. Just had to get some of this off my chest. Thanks for reading.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Trying, but it's more difficult every day.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Trying to and January can't come soon enough.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

Trying, but it's more difficult every day.

Same here.

 

[StrawberryBlonde]

Same, I feel you brother/sister. I have to decide on how I'm going to do it, nothing can stop me now.

 

[mateodolores]

Trying, but it's more difficult every day.

Sameee.

 

[GasMonkey]

I have to decide on how I'm going to do it

Long path ahead.

 

[Purin]

Same, I'm trying to wait until the holidays are over…

 

[deadliftEnjoyer]

Absolutely, having me ctb will be hard enough on the family, I don't want to stain their holidays forever

 

[Himalayan]

Long path ahead.

Depends. You can always just drown in a river

 

[CTB72]

Yes I know the pain of being sick and tired of trying and things never get any better. In fact for me, things are definitely going to get worse next year as I'm having major issues with my job now too. I think it's time to call it a day early next year!
I will also have the choice of either using SN or Amitriptyline. I have 250g of SN and will have 10g of Amitriptyline by then also. I have some Meto but it's expired but I think it will be ok if I take slightly more than the recommended dose to allow for any degradation.
So I guess I just have to choose which is the best way to go!
I hope everyone reading this is able to find some peace whatever you decide.
Love to you all

 

[sevenkarmas]

I'm planning early January if there are no improvements. It also gives me cover to visit my Mom, brother and sister during Christmas without raising any alarms about why I'm there. I'll be able to see them and say goodbye without it triggering anything.

 

[FallFadesIntoWinter]

I wanted to do it on December 30th (when my dog passed away in 2019) and I really hope I can still make that plan work now.

The only thing holding me back is the fact that it's right before NYE and it's not as easy to slip out and "go for a walk in the woods" like it would be on a day when the holiday season is done and over with.

If I'm taking SN, I need at least 6 hours of peace and quiet to make it work (assuming the time hike out there to a quiet and totally remote spot where I won't be disturbed, the time to prepare, the tube to take the SN and have it kick in with zero chance of being found). That might be a problem on December 30th if more people aren't at work or in school, it just increases the chances of being found out but I really want my dog and I to have the same date we both passed away.

 

[Wait-Bus]

I don't set dates, I just wait for three things to be in place, (1) that overpowering urge to kill myself, which I get a few times a year, (2) the opportunity, which is to be alone in a hotel because of frequent business trips, and (3) having my trusty and ever-present hanging kit with me. If that all happens - I am sure I will be dead an hour after I check-in. To be honest it feels like I roll the dice on a regular basis. Or maybe I should just do that and get it over with.