Anyone else unable to commit?

[Anonymoususer1234]

I'm not suicidal enough to die, not happy or social or hopeful enough to actually live. I'm just kinda here. Rotting.

 

[Darkover]

me too but if i had N here i would for 100 percent drink it right now

 

[Rymrgand]

I kinda get it, yes. I feel like I still have a bit of irrational hope, so I don't think I can do it right. For better or for worse, tho, I'm getting more suicidal, so I feel like I'm going to do it someday, even if not soon. For now, I'm preparing my method, so I can CTB when I want to.

 

[foreverstardust]

I've tried and failed before, and it was painful and exhausting and now I want to do it but I don't want to go through that pain again. I'm not willing to do the things that would definitely work, like jumping or drowning, but I can't get the painless and peaceful drugs either. So I'm just in this limbo position now, kind of hoping that I develop some terminal disease like other family members have.

 

[Endofpain]

me too but if i had N here i would for 100 percent drink it right now

Are you sure about that? I thought the same about my exit bag. I think setting a date will help me. I hope that I will have the courage tp go trough. All I need to do is to mechanically carry out my steps over 5min. Either it is the so called SI or me being a chicken (which is more likely)

 

[Darkover]

Are you sure about that? I thought the same about my exit bag. I think setting a date will help me. I hope that I will have the courage tp go trough. All I need to do is to mechanically carry out my steps over 5min. Either it is the so called SI or me being a chicken (which is more likely)

i've lived with a severe brain injury for 8 years now i've been ready everyday for the last 8 year's to kill my self if it wasn't for governmental restrictions on peaceful suicide methods i would be long gone believe me there is nothing i want from this universe except to be nothing for all time

 

[Endofpain]

Alright. I understand.

i've lived with a severe brain injury for 8 years now i've been ready everyday for the last 8 year's to kill my self if it wasn't for governmental restrictions on peaceful suicide methods i would be long gone believe me there is nothing i want from this universe except to be nothing for all time

 

[ma0]

My SI and chronic procrastination make it so that it's basically impossible for me to find the courage to commit.

 

[iamgonnadie]

I'm not suicidal enough to die, not happy or social or hopeful enough to actually live. I'm just kinda here. Rotting.

Me too, I'm just rotting in my university hostel

 

[Hollowman]

I'm trying to outlive my mom I don't know if I can.

 

[martinso67]

That book "five last acts" I did come back to read again. It did bring back my anxiety that I will fail my CTB method.
I want to live life normally, like anyone else. Though stuff what I want. I don't do anything illegal. I am also nice to people who are not friendly.

How can I overcome this anxiety of failing or is it SI????