Help Anyone else stuck

[AgonizedWaterfall%$]

My last post has more context and still some unanswered questions.

If I could do it tonight I would. Been planning for months (thoughts for years) and in those months I've done little work on planning to die as well as planning to live... so I've just been in this functional freeze, work-sleep-work-sleep. I'm tired of doing nothing.

I want to ctb within 2 weeks once I get my affairs in order. I'm trying to make it easier for family and just need as much advice/opinions as what to do beforehand and leave behind. There's one person I need to talk to beforehand but I know they don't want to talk to me, what's a message I can send them to agree to a chat without mentioning the severity of the situation while also saying "it's serious" "last time we'll talk".

The one flaw in my plan is letting someone know where I am and to call emergency. I think a friend is the best option but I'm stuck in the moral question of how do I do that to a friend. They'll find out anyways but I don't want to make anyone a part of it.

I've got a full suspension plan pretty set out, but I'm considering partial as I'll 100% be alone for longer. I've read every thread on both methods and I don't think partial would work which sucks because it relieves all the environment questions, other stresses, and would be more comfortable.

I want to say bye to lots of people. If I schedule texts for a day later or something, and fail my attempt, how reliable is deleting texts before they're scheduled to send. If I fail and they go through and people closest to me know this about me my scenario would get even worse, I just want to be sure it will work when I decide to ctb.

 

[nuva]

your post describes everything i've been thinking about for the last few weeks. i felt like a walking vegetable.
i've been thinking for a long time about which method to choose, what to do with things and money, but messages to others are the hardest part.i still have no idea what to write in a note to answer the most important questions.
i hope you can figure this out, because i have problems with it too.

 

[auto138491]

i have a notebook in which i have hand-written messages. This notebook can be found afterwards. You can also schedule emails to go out 2 weeks after your date. That way, even if u survive and end up in the hospital, there is plenty of time to cancel the sending. For saying Byes and talking to people before going, no suggestions. I don't think it's possible, or fair. Not to mention the legal requirement that they notify an intended suicide.