anyone else struggling with depersonalization?

[sppplmgwiwlkiwbtft]

started maybe a few months ago for me. derealization is a feeling i'm closely familiar to, it's been following me for years. like everything's not real, just a big dream, and there's no point in getting emotionally involved into anything. like okay, i know this one. there's still "me" in this feeling

but this new one is something else. i feel like i lost most of my memories, my feelings, my personality, my persona, my consciousness, everything human about me is lost. i feel like a piece of furniture, as lifless as devoid of mind as it can be. not even a wild animal as there are no instincts left in me as well. even saying "i feel as ..." is sort of wrong as it doesn't feel, like it's not a feeling almost. everything happening is a dream, there is no real world, and it's not like i don't belong to that world, it's like there is no me. detachment not only from the life around, but from myself as well

yk i googled and i think depersonalization might be the closest term to describe this state

those depersonaliztion episodes vary in duration and severity, but to some degree i always "feel" like this

has anyone else experienced smth like this? maybe similarly derealization? if you have had it, what are your thoughts on it, how does it feel?

p.s i'm seeing a therapist, they know about it and don't think any medication is necessary for me

 

[dragonofenvy]

Yes, I feel like a robot. Like someone or something else is controlling me. When I interact with others it feels like a script that I'm following. I don't feel, I think. A lot of what I see doesn't seem real, but it has to be because I see it. I'm so detached and far gone that days drift by without me realizing it. It's the start of September, and I don't even know what happened this year at any point. I don't think I'm real, that other people are real, that my memories (what few remain anyway) are real... it's confusing.

I guess I don't mind it. I would go insane if I knew what happened to me in the past was actually real (it is, but I'm coping). It also helps make the days drag less. If I was present, I would be tortured. Since I'm somewhere else, I can't feel the pain as intensely.

 

[sppplmgwiwlkiwbtft]

Yes, I feel like a robot. Like someone or something else is controlling me. When I interact with others it feels like a script that I'm following. I don't feel, I think. A lot of what I see doesn't seem real, but it has to be because I see it. I'm so detached and far gone that days drift by without me realizing it. It's the start of September, and I don't even know what happened this year at any point. I don't think I'm real, that other people are real, that my memories (what few remain anyway) are real... it's confusing.

I guess I don't mind it. I would go insane if I knew what happened to me in the past was actually real (it is, but I'm coping). It also helps make the days drag less. If I was present, I would be tortured. Since I'm somewhere else, I can't feel the pain as intensely.

i feel you. it's also a coping mechanism for me, firstly began when i legit thought i would lose my mind from mental pain. i guess it's somehow better this way.. maybe easier, not better

i just feel a glimpse of sadness/disappointment when i realize i don't feel when i should. like the fact that the summer has ended used to be a big deal, it's nothing now. spending time with my friends brings nothing. and i don't even remember it afterwards, like i had not been there at all as i don't even exist. it's weird when you think about it. like i only exist in the present moment with no recollection of what happeneed before or who i am etc. a sudden glimpse of consciousness in an endless mindless void