Anyone else seen as a happy person despite struggling inside?

[sadandhopeless1]

Everyone tells me how happy and confident I am, how I never have any problems, how I'm always in a good mood. Its so far from the truth that it kind of burns me up inside. How can people not see that I am struggling? My whole life I have felt empty inside and just pretended to be happy to avoid being judged or put down. Its so extremely isolating. No one is going to ask me if I am ok or offer support because they think I have a happy little life and don't need any help. I used to kind of relish the fact that I could fake it so well. It made me feel like a strong person because I could suppress how I felt and be "normal." Now that's the only way that I know how to interact with people and I feel like no one will ever understand the mental turmoil I go through on a daily basis. Its one of the big reasons I want to CTB. I don't want to be stuck alone with my asshole mind for the rest of my life while people judge me for every little slip up because they think I have it so easy.

 

[September5th]

This was me for a while. Then I got genuinely happy, just to fall back into sadness (now much, much worse). I literally can't hide it anymore. Anyone who sees me knows that I'm in horrible shape.

 

[Sleeper System]

The majority of people feel this way so it's nothing new. You would be surprised at how many people are genuinely happy in this world verse how many people are faking it to survive. I'd say 90% interal suffering and 10% actually happy. And even then those happy people are probably just complacent sheep content with being ignorant about life and living in there own sheltered world. Ignorance is bliss. I hate my current life but I would hate being a sheep even more.

 

[Peaceful Exit]

Having suffered with clinical depression, generalised anxiety disorder and depersonaization for the past 40 years, I know excactly how you feel when it comes to other so-called normal people. These normies cannot possibly understand what it feels like to endure any type of mental illness, because mental illness needs to be experienced to be truly understood. There is also the sad fact that the vast majority of people in this fucked-up world lack empathy. Even your closest friends and family, will in all probability just not care, or even do a bit of research to try and understand the hellish existence that mentally ill people have to endure. I have no friends, and only a very small family who dont give a fuck about my hellish condition. It is a harsh reality that the vast majority of us with mental illness, and existential problems etc are demonized for something that is not our fault. I am truly sorry you are going through this dreadful experience. Only those of us who are going through the same thing will truly understand you.

 

[Ashu]

Incredibly, even close friends have sometimes told me that I seem to be a profoundly calm and equanimous person, though in fact I'm always in a state of extreme inner turbulence. I perfected my mask early, it seems, growing up in a hell of terror and humiliation.

 

[blackheart]

This was me for a while. Then I got genuinely happy, just to fall back into sadness (now much, much worse). I literally can't hide it anymore. Anyone who sees me knows that I'm in horrible shape.

I am the same. For long I have put on a smile every day but now I just simply don't care anymore. that's their problem if they hate seeing my moody face

 

[outatime_85]

Only one person knows that I fake my happiness, my smiles, my relaxed demeanor, and that my mental health is declining, that I don't care about much if anything anymore, and that I have no qualms about cashing-out.

Everyone else is oblivious to how I truly feel, never mind my long-term isolation, etc.

They all think I'm doing fine and that nothing is bothering me.

None of them know about the misery I live with.

When they do ask if I am okay, I simply say yes, because the reality is that they really don't care if I am having mental health issues or if I live or die.

They only care about appearing to care by doing the feel-good things that society expects from them, like asking if their loved one is fine, but not the hard work of actually helping them.

No, my unit structure expects you to fix all problems yourself, and after you do, that is when they come and celebrate your success as if they had a hand in it.

 

[AloneInCollege]

Kind of, I usually try to be "the goofy/funny one". Someone that makes people laugh and someone for others to pick on and make jokes about. It's not great but it's the only way I be included. But then when I open up about how truly sad I am, I think people get freaked out.

 

[MentalPollution]

I wore a mask to hide my sadness for a lot of time until now. Now I can't hold it anymore, and the cracks are starting to show up. My friends and family know that I'm getting worse and they can see that I'm falling apart (especially yesterday when out of nowhere I had a seizure), yet, they act like it's just "something temporary that will get better soon". I understand your pain dude. Stay strong

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Yeah, that's me. Like some others have said, I hide what I'm truly feeling with humor and it seems to fool most people. Sometimes I even fool myself, but not for long. If only I could be happy for real.

 

[veryhappyhuman]

Yeah, and this is why I related to the 2019 version of Joker so much (not the murder parts obviously, hello fbi! ).

They absolutely nailed what a guy like me feels all the time but then had to make him a crazy killer because otherwise there won't be a movie.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Yeah, and this is why I related to the 2019 version of Joker so much (not the murder parts obviously, hello fbi! ).

They absolutely nailed what a guy like me feels all the time but then had to make him a crazy killer because otherwise there won't be a movie.

They could make a movie about a depressed Joker, but it might not be very popular for mainstream movie viewers. I can just imagine a movie where Joker is depressed and Batman keeps trying to save him from suicide, so Joker has to use creative traps and diversions to escape Batman's pro-life agenda until he can CTB successfully.

If there was a movie like that, I'm sure we'd all relate to Joker then. I'd probably watch it just for ideas on how to escape the pro-lifers lol.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I used to be. Fooled myself and others. No longer.