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iftheworldwasending

iftheworldwasending

My prayer is that when I die, all of hell rejoice.
Sep 26, 2020
124
i was doing so much better. so so so much fucking better. i was off SS and doing work on myself and focusing on me and was doing so great, then i did some shadow work tonight and now i'm sobbing and back on this site. sort of feeling like maybe things just won't get better for me. maybe i should accept that.
feeling so stuck and confused.

anyone have any advice? i feel like i'm always the one helping other people and i would love some input or insight.
lost another dear friend from here the other day and now i'm just extra lost.
 
botanormal

botanormal

Mage
Nov 9, 2020
546
It's really horrible you have to feel this way again, and after doing so much better too, I can't imagine how much it hurts. Do you think your relapse was influenced by that shadow work you were doing? I'm sorry if I'm misreading things here, but if it's leading you to feel this way, maybe it's best to stay away from that for now. Losing someone close to you can also be extremely painful, so it might be having more of an affect on you than you first realized.

It's really good that you've been doing better lately, so please don't let this discourage you. It sounds like you're going through something difficult right now, with the loss of your friend. It's completely understandable, but it doesn't mean things won't ever get better, it just means progress will have to pause for a moment, to give you time to grieve and process.

I don't know exactly what's going on inside your head, so maybe I'm completely off the mark with this comment. But if recovery is something you've really been trying at, then please don't let this stop you. It's a long journey, and you're doing amazing. There will always be bumps in the road, what matters is how you overcome them.

Of course, if you really feel like things won't get better, I'm not here to try and convince you otherwise. Just don't be too hard on yourself, okay? Take things at your own pace. If you ever need to talk about it, we're here for you. I wish there was something more I could say, or some advice that would help, but I guess instead I'll just say that you are heard, and your feelings are completely valid. Good luck with everything, and I'm sending you the biggest hugs right now! :hug::heart:
 
iftheworldwasending

iftheworldwasending

My prayer is that when I die, all of hell rejoice.
Sep 26, 2020
124
It's really horrible you have to feel this way again, and after doing so much better too, I can't imagine how much it hurts. Do you think your relapse was influenced by that shadow work you were doing? I'm sorry if I'm misreading things here, but if it's leading you to feel this way, maybe it's best to stay away from that for now. Losing someone close to you can also be extremely painful, so it might be having more of an affect on you than you first realized.

It's really good that you've been doing better lately, so please don't let this discourage you. It sounds like you're going through something difficult right now, with the loss of your friend. It's completely understandable, but it doesn't mean things won't ever get better, it just means progress will have to pause for a moment, to give you time to grieve and process.

I don't know exactly what's going on inside your head, so maybe I'm completely off the mark with this comment. But if recovery is something you've really been trying at, then please don't let this stop you. It's a long journey, and you're doing amazing. There will always be bumps in the road, what matters is how you overcome them.

Of course, if you really feel like things won't get better, I'm not here to try and convince you otherwise. Just don't be too hard on yourself, okay? Take things at your own pace. If you ever need to talk about it, we're here for you. I wish there was something more I could say, or some advice that would help, but I guess instead I'll just say that you are heard, and your feelings are completely valid. Good luck with everything, and I'm sending you the biggest hugs right now! :hug::heart:
i hope you know how much this comment means to me. i really really needed to hear this. thank you for being amazing.
 
botanormal

botanormal

Mage
Nov 9, 2020
546
i hope you know how much this comment means to me. i really really needed to hear this. thank you for being amazing.
I'm really glad! Remember, we're always here if you need to talk about anything - anything at all. I hope you're able to find what you're looking for, you deserve some peace from all of this pain. Thank you for being so sweet, despite everything you're going through, your efforts are really appreciated. :heart:
 
W

whywere

Visionary
Jun 26, 2020
2,492
I feel your pain and also feel so sorry for you right now. 1st off we are ALL here for you and care and love you each and every day. Life in its self can be cruel and also do a 180 degree turn on a dime, instantly, and it makes for a rough and confusing time. I have the same issues also, and I, as hard as it is, try and think about something or someone that makes me happy. Also I try and thinking of something that might be coming up in my life and hold onto it dearly. PLEASE always remember that I and everyone here is always thinking of you.Love and caring and kindness towards you always!!!! Walter:heart::hug:
 
iftheworldwasending

iftheworldwasending

My prayer is that when I die, all of hell rejoice.
Sep 26, 2020
124
I feel your pain and also feel so sorry for you right now. 1st off we are ALL here for you and care and love you each and every day. Life in its self can be cruel and also do a 180 degree turn on a dime, instantly, and it makes for a rough and confusing time. I have the same issues also, and I, as hard as it is, try and think about something or someone that makes me happy. Also I try and thinking of something that might be coming up in my life and hold onto it dearly. PLEASE always remember that I and everyone here is always thinking of you.Love and caring and kindness towards you always!!!! Walter:heart::hug:
walter. you're always so wonderful to me. this means so much. thank you endlessly.
 
W

whywere

Visionary
Jun 26, 2020
2,492
walter. you're always so wonderful to me. this means so much. thank you endlessly.
Thank you, but YOU are very kind and loving and I have been in the same place as you many times. When I read your post I felt like you were sitting next to me, as far as having been through the same feelings and thoughts. I truly do love and care for you and only want the best for you! Always here for you! Walter:heart::hug:
 
Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Jul 15, 2020
2,566
I was doing better last week, I had a lot of motivations and I think I did like 8 painting or something. Did a lot of stuff but on Sunday everything turned to shit. Was laying in my bed for most of the day, lazy, tired, unmotivated, urges to self harm.
I totally get how you feel. Unfortunately don't have any advice.Some people just relapse often I guess:(
 

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