anyone else realise they have the fluoride stare

[iguazo falls]

i think its pretty common to think when you're young that you know something others don't or that everyone else are mindless sheep. even when you grow up i think it's still common. my self hatred used to be intense but had an undercurrent of "this isn't REALLY true though". lately i've really been understanding that i'm not that much different to other people in how i function. i find myself having customer brain moments, or i realise i know very little about something or have an outdated conception that has stuck in my head. i'm not very smart, and oftentimes i'm "that person" in any given situation people complain about on reddit. i have the fluoride stare and it isn't because the other person is stupid; my brain is just perma-fried. i'm not that unique, there's no outstanding skill, not much passion, and my personality is best appreciated by only myself. everyday i fuck at least 3 things up. i try not to be bad for no reason but i struggle a bit with situational awareness, and i think im realising that inflating your ego is lowkey a survival skill just like lying and virtue signalling.

 

[iguazo falls]

today i straight up barged into a random dudes hosue cause instead of looking at the door numbers and realising what floor i took the elevator too, i thought "huh theres two doormats, and one near our place, i wonder if my partner was talking to the neighbours cause it looks used, maybe they got an extra one??". then i put my key to the door where my room would be if i was on the correct floor, and it doesnt really fit in but does enough to let me know its unlocked. so i open the door, and its how my apartment is laid out but theres a random dude sitting on a couch with a totally different furniture layout and im squinting like what the fuck this is crazy who rearranged all the furniture here and who is this dude. then i realise bro im in the wrong apartment and say sorry then run off. bro you dont have to worry about just criminals when u lock ur shit, u gotta worry about ME.

i'm getting early onset dementia in the future for sure idfk im going actually insane.