I was planning on going early in the morning (like 1 or 2am) of the 31st. Because of the latest threads regarding a few failures of SN, I'm freaked out. Now I'm afraid that my SN won't be potent enough and am too afraid of failure to go through with it.
You have to have a feeding tube? Oh honey, I'm so sorry that you are suffering. I hope you can find freedom from your pain.
I was on a feeding tube for 5 months. It came out 4 times and I had to have it put in while awake except the last time as I chocked and pulled it out while they were putting it in. I have no Appetite whatsoever but force food down usually only dinner .. but it's getting harder and harder by the day to keep food down and next time they'll place the tub in my stomach with a peg port to feed through abdomen instead of the nasal passage and I cannot go through that as it's so painful from
What I'm told and I have a spinal pain pump (had a major nerve in pelvis cut when they went to drain an ovarian cyst -so I was bedridden for 12 years till pump gave me back my life for 11 years and then 19 months ago I went into serotonin syndrome and ever since my brain has been so messed up like so have had a stroke or symptoms like MS or ALS but MRI and tests show nothing and the neuros can't find anything . it's caused my body to have stopped responding to any medications opioids, bp pills, anti histamines and pretty much everything we tried. I only sleep 2 hours a night if I'm lucky and that's with heavy sleeping pills. My brain got so messed up after Cymbalta for migraines That didn't (which didn't help). Now I'm just miserable 24/7 without any medicine working. So you can imagine how scared I am to take the SN as I have all the SN, propanolol, tagamet, benzos, meto, phenerghan and zofran for everything including sleeping pills but nothing works for me so I'm scared that I'm going to suffer and throw up

non stop and wonder if I'll remain conscious longer than most etc… I'm kinda freaking out as I want to and need to just do it in the next few days. I'm so exhausted from not sleeping for months on end, and nothing helps. I just can't bring myself to actually follow through but each day is getting harder and harder to survive.
Planning on Sunday or Monday night. But getting my nerves getting the best of me.
How do you get the guys to go
Through with it when the pain is so bad? My fear of failure is getting to me just as bad as what I'll endure, but I'm determined this has to happen as I can't take anymore.
Anyone got any advice how to push through the fear and just make it happen. I failed twice with tons of opioids, benzodiazepines, and sleeping pills which only made me sleep for 6 days. My family just thought I was sick so I never went to The hospital but ended up with liver damage for several months.
Anyhow looking for some encouragement to finally make it happen this weekend!
My family will be here on New Year's now so I'm thinking of the 1st or 2nd.
I too am afraid after the latest posts of failure but like most say it's that protocols weren't followed.