Anyone else over 40yrs old and wanting to ctb due to finances and/or heartache

[downndone2]

See title
I am mid forties. Divorced and lost so much money over the past several yrs. I want to die but hurting those I love, possibility for recovery and SI have stopped me. I wouldn't be sad if I didn't wake up 2morrow but also don't have the guts to ctb so far with the methods I do have.
I'm just devastated in myself, lost, heartbroken, and hate who I am
Just seeing if anyone here for same reasons

 

[Hugh Class]

Im 50.... lost everything. I can definitely relate to what you are saying.

 

[leavingsoon99]

I'm in my 40s. No real prospects of a bright financial future. The woman I thought I would marry left me. So, I relate.

 

[expiredfckmeat]

I'm 40, never thought I'd make it this far. I've thought about suicide every day since I realized it was possible, tried a few times... Part of me is morbidly curious to see how much farther I can go but I don't hate myself enough to make me endure much more of what life has become.

 

[nosoul]

I lost my ability to sleep and eat, no prospect for love, I get disability money but it's nothing, even if I want to live my insomnia is so bad. Appetite not there, and Noone wants a bipolar failure. It is the end of the road for me health wise, likewise I guess as well, almost time for me to ctb I fear.

 

[Heavenbound]

Yes to all. I can relate.
Financial problems, bad health, mentally ill, can't seem to get a relationship, miss my loved ones who are already on the other side, hate the way the world is heading... Why stick around?
Wishing for a spark of hope, but can't find one. Psychiatry has failed me.
I could continue, but I'll leave it at that.

 

[Azora]

I'm 41 but still look like I'm 16. If you're feeling bad about not having a lot of money, you're probably better off than me. I have zero dollars to my name and have to live with my mom. I've yet to meet a human being that's a bigger loser than me.

 

[Disappointered]

Can relate. Bad investments...but then again zero + zero can only = zero.

 

[RoundaboutResolved]

And it feels like it's only going to get worse as time goes on. I pray WW3 hurries up so we can all ctb via nuclear armageddon!

 

[macrocosm]

See title
I am mid forties. Divorced and lost so much money over the past several yrs. I want to die but hurting those I love, possibility for recovery and SI have stopped me. I wouldn't be sad if I didn't wake up 2morrow but also don't have the guts to ctb so far with the methods I do have.
I'm just devastated in myself, lost, heartbroken, and hate who I am
Just seeing if anyone here for same reasons

I can relate. Not for those exact reasons, but it's understandable.

 

[ChildrensITV]

Have you done/considered meds and talk therapy?

Is this r/suicidewatch now?

"Is your life irreparably damaged? Have you tried speaking, bro?"

 

[RoundaboutResolved]

The prolifers are everywhere, jeez...

 

[NambaSutra]

I'm 48. I'm not broke but very much have heartache. It's my own fault I was very mean to wife without fully realizing what an ass I was. Now she's moving on from the marriage even as we continue living together and not getting divorced. I think she's doing it for the sake of the kids but we have little interest in each other and I'm just scared to leave because I have serious executive dysfunction that she's always helped me with. But I can barely stand even being in the same room as her.

I can't see any way out. My head is so full of fear that CTB seems like the only realistic escape.

 

[ChildrensITV]

In the last 15 years, I have made no progress in life whatsoever. Except balding.

 

[jolongone]

I'm in my mid sixties and go to sleep every night hoping that l don't wake up. Failed relationships, hardly any savings and loneliness make my life more miserable by the day. I just don't want to be here anymore and one day l hope to have the courage to ctb

 

[macrocosm]

Is this r/suicidewatch now?

"Is your life irreparably damaged? Have you tried speaking, bro?"

Showing support and empathy for people's choices and listening is one thing, encouraging is another. I was born with biological depression and been suicidal my whole life. I don't need a lecture, thanks.

You know how many people are looking for options on here, or just need to be heard?

People go through sh*t in life, and sometimes they wanna end it all, and sometimes they're not sure and want to explore options. And sometimes they want to vent or hear what they wanna hear or just feel supported.

I would have been dead years ago if I didn't understand why I hated myself and understand what depression was and got help, and people need to know they aren't terrible and useless and lazy and all that bullsh*t and that's it from a disease called depression. I'm glad I delayed because I got to meet my nieces amongst other things, and that even after treatment I still want to follow through with suicide because it's my choice. Now I will have no hesitations when I take my own life this year or next.

Everyone has a story

 

[unnormal9]

Showing support and empathy for people's choices and listening is one thing, encouraging is another. I was born with biological depression and been suicidal my whole life. I don't need a lecture, thanks.

You know how many people are looking for options on here, or just need to be heard?

People go through sh*t in life, and sometimes they wanna end it all, and sometimes they're not sure and want to explore options. And sometimes they want to vent or hear what they wanna hear or just feel supported.

I would have been dead years ago if I didn't understand why I hated myself and understand what depression was and got help, and people need to know they aren't terrible and useless and lazy and all that bullsh*t and that's it from a disease called depression. I'm glad I delayed because I got to meet my nieces amongst other things, and that even after treatment I still want to follow through with suicide because it's my choice. Now I will have no hesitations when I take my own life this year or next.

Everyone has a story

No one here encourages anyone to do anything; what there is here is support in the choice of the individual. Those types of responses are common riff·raff most, like myself, have heard one too many times—it is tiresome.
Yes everyone has a story, but with responses such as that, its assuming it hasn't already been done over years, even decades. Talking is one thing; actions to solve tangible pain is another—well-nigh non-existence.

 

[Unattainable666]

yes, i understand. the ones i love are gone there is nothing left here but dealing with idiot assholes at work, loneliness and people who dont give a shit. death becomes me

 

[downndone2]

Im 50.... lost everything. I can definitely relate to what you are saying.

I'm so sorry to hear.

I'm in my 40s. No real prospects of a bright financial future. The woman I thought I would marry left me. So, I relate.

I'm sorry

Can relate. Bad investments...but then again zero + zero can only = zero.

My issues definitely involved bad investments. I regret my decisions every second and sick to my stomach and soul

I'm in my mid sixties and go to sleep every night hoping that l don't wake up. Failed relationships, hardly any savings and loneliness make my life more miserable by the day. I just don't want to be here anymore and one day l hope to have the courage to ctb

I'm sorry and feel same since I ruined everything

 

[leavingsoon99]

Is this r/suicidewatch now?

"Is your life irreparably damaged? Have you tried speaking, bro?"

I hate that subreddit so much. I wish life-warriors would just stay there.

 

[downndone2]

Showing support and empathy for people's choices and listening is one thing, encouraging is another. I was born with biological depression and been suicidal my whole life. I don't need a lecture, thanks.

You know how many people are looking for options on here, or just need to be heard?

People go through sh*t in life, and sometimes they wanna end it all, and sometimes they're not sure and want to explore options. And sometimes they want to vent or hear what they wanna hear or just feel supported.

I would have been dead years ago if I didn't understand why I hated myself and understand what depression was and got help, and people need to know they aren't terrible and useless and lazy and all that bullsh*t and that's it from a disease called depression. I'm glad I delayed because I got to meet my nieces amongst other things, and that even after treatment I still want to follow through with suicide because it's my choice. Now I will have no hesitations when I take my own life this year or next.

Everyone has a story

I have my methods in hand. Most likely I'll be gone in a few months time. I just know who I'll be hurting the most and it sucks

 

[BGooG]

I'm 61. I just won a highly prestigious award at work which comes with a significant cash prize. I came home and told my wife about it. She congratulated me, and then harangued me and made me feel like shit for hours. I want to die everyday.

 

[macrocosm]

I have my methods in hand. Most likely I'll be gone in a few months time. I just know who I'll be hurting the most and it sucks

Yah that's a downside when it hurts the people around you. But end of the day we need to do what we feel is right for ourselves too

 

[Fraggle77]

See title
I am mid forties. Divorced and lost so much money over the past several yrs. I want to die but hurting those I love, possibility for recovery and SI have stopped me. I wouldn't be sad if I didn't wake up 2morrow but also don't have the guts to ctb so far with the methods I do have.
I'm just devastated in myself, lost, heartbroken, and hate who I am
Just seeing if anyone here for same reasons

I can relate. No financial prospects. I've gone from childhood trauma to adult trauma and no matter how hard I try to make a better life for me and my daughter it never goes to plan.

 

[downndone2]

I just don't know what I'm going to do. The anxiety is always so gutwrenching. The triggers are everywhere. I've decided I don't think I can stomach even drinking the sn. I do have gun. Can yoi season meal with SN after AE. I know you're supposed to fast but seems I read about a few cases people died after eating it. I have heart issues so maybe it would work...

 

[snu]

And it feels like it's only going to get worse as time goes on. I pray WW3 hurries up so we can all ctb via nuclear armageddon!

I was so excited in a strange way around the time Russia's invasion of Ukraine started last year. Hearing that Putin was threatening to unleash nukes on NATO was making me almost giddy. Inevitably someone at the helm of a nuclear power is going to be homicidal-suicidal on a global scale. As days turned to weeks turned to months and it became obvious it was just hot air I was irritated and letdown. 41 btw.

 

[Das Nichts]

The insurance for my mortage has a passus that says they won't pay if you Ctb in the first three years.

So this situation is not uncommon and those greedy mfers even count on it.

 

[downndone2]

The insurance for my mortage has a passus that says they won't pay if you Ctb in the first three years.

So this situation is not uncommon and those greedy mfers even count on it.

Yeah my life insurance company is 2 yrs

 

[enviro400mmc]

The likelihood of this being me in a couple of decades if I don't ctb by then feels pretty high

 

[Das Nichts]

Yeah my life insurance company is 2 yrs

For a brief time I thought waiting three years and let the other person in the contract collect the money. Would have
been fine exit fcking those greedy bastards