Anyone else mess up so bad that life is irreparable?

[monkeysee2]

I've had a difficult childhood that left me traumatised with severe mental illness. But I've messed up real bad now and I feel completely lost.

 

[itsgone2]

Yes 100%. And I feel committed to a plan I can't execute. It's all I think about.
But yes I made too many mistakes. I should have known better on so many but also it's like the world changed and I'm not ready for it.
Everything is wrong

 

[thelostautistic]

Yes. I've been through so much and I just feel completely damaged. There's no way I'm gonna make it through this world

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Messed up real bad too, so bad it's almost impossible to believe the wrongness that became reality as a result.

 

[lawlietsph]

my parents and my surroundings messed me up from the start, so with zero self confidence and lots of mental illnesses it was inevitable for me to mess up everything constantly. eventually my entire life. i'm just unable to function as a normal person should

 

[QuincyME]

I ask myself how I ended up like this 100 times a day. I've made nothing but bad choices my entire life. The kicker is I come from a very successful family. Everybody in my family is smart and successful with great lives. How in the fuck did I end up being the sole recipient of this piece of shit life when I came from a great family.

 

[itsgone2]

I'm also having a hard time reconciling this. Suicide seems like the answer but then everything natural instinct goes against that. I don't know what's going to happen. Not sure if that's explained correctly. Was wondering if anyone similar.

 

[kitkat9234]

Been a fuck up my whole life. Made horrible mistakes and ruined people's lives. The guilt and regret consume me and I'm constantly reminded daily of how I've messed up

 

[wanna_die]

My social skills suck, so people somehow take distance from me. Because I am also simply bored around people which makes me act eccentric. But deep inside I know that I am longing for a genuine connection. I want to be alone, but I cannot bear being alone. It is just so hard to live with this dilemma. Thats why I want to ctb.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

My whole cast of mind has been messed up since I was a teenager. Laziness and cowardice while dreaming myself to be some big shot. It took decades of failures to break the illusion. Even after psychosis, educational failure, getting fired, long term unemployment, I still had a weird belief that it would all work out. Now that my youth is over (36yo) the illusion of "late blooming" can't be maintained.

 

[copioushopelessness]

Yes. Relate to all these comments. I didn't sabotage my life on my own though. Had a few people that really wanted to make sure it would be as difficult as possible for me.

 

[monkeysee2]

I feel like my life was set up for me to fail from the start. I've had a few good things going for me but most things have been bad. And I've contributed to some of the bad but I don't know how someone normal is supposed to act in my position. It's weird because when I hear about soemone else's life, I think it's salvagable most of the time. But mine feels like it isn't.

 

[micahjava]

Lol im homeless, divorced, and i hate my body.

ANything good offered to me gets pulled away. Im tired and i cant ever have a job again. Its too hard so im going to wait until i can get the courage. Nobody will notice when i die for quite a while and that hurts me so deeply. I really just want to be happy and it will never happen. I have all of this anger in my heart and it will never go anywhere.

 

[kunikuzushi]

I'm so traumatized I haven't been able to work for almost 8 years. This has turned my brain to absolute mush. I can't focus on anything and can barely function enough to take care of eating and hygiene. I'll probably never be able to work again. My life is a disaster, and I can't imagine it lasting much longer.

 

[LetMeOut67]

Been through too much to ever feel "normal" ever again

 

[madeincruddy]

I think I'm at a point where my situation is technically fixable but I'm so tired of the getting better/getting worse cycle that it's hard for me to muster up the courage to try. If I could get intensive treatment I'd be willing to try that but all I have access to right now is CBT that does nothing for me