Anyone else living with anhedonia? Feels so pointless.

[halfway_y]

So I think I've been anhedonic for about 10 years now. It means I've lost ability to enjoy anything I've liked before, I can't connect with anything, be it people, stories, games, movies, everything feels the same, zero feedback inside my head. It's been a gradual process, I think it wasn't as bad when I was still in high school, but even since I've started university I completely died inside. It might be comination of genetics, stress, trauma, just bad things happening in life at inconvenient times. I've tried meds a few times, but they didn't really do anything other than kill ability to masturbate. I've tried therapy, it sort of did nothing as well. I tried to open up and dig deeper and unlock emotions or whatever, but it was all futile so far.

Life is really pointless this way. And so few people understand this. I wonder if anyone here can relate.

 

[SASU-KE]

Utterly brutal. I'm capable of love, affection, sadness,empathy,pretty much every emotion. Reasonably high functioning.I have a good job, I work hard. Have a decent family.

I'm only unable to feel happy. There's no joy in anything. I have the means to travel. I can buy what I want. None of it brings me any happiness. I'm just existing and not living.

I still do everything I need to do out of a sense of duty though. It is just tiresome as hell.