This is such a good point. Sometimes you can feel more alone even if you're surrounded by people. The loneliness of feeling different in a crowd can be worse than the loneliness of being by yourself.
True. Even I am an introvert. I feel just one friend is enough if your wavelengths match. I was blessed with good friends but I lost them all to marriage
Takamagahara
Seeker Of Heaven
- Aug 8, 2023
- 142
I've felt way more attached to fictional characters than I do to real people. When I think about being with someone, I can only think of someone who straight up doesn't exist.
So, yeah.
So, yeah.
Ha ha true. There are certain fictional characters that felt like family members. Do you want to name any such characters?
EndJstifiesTheMeans
Bad english, didn't go to school sorry
- May 14, 2023
- 448
Hitakiri
Melancholy
- Mar 20, 2023
- 58
Do you feel perhaps that your overindulgence in media has painted unrealistic expectations that real people could never live up to?
You strike me as one who has endured heavy trauma from a young age, and thus keeps other people at a distance. I imagine it's difficult for you to trust real people. Fictional characters supercede these issues. Not only does it feel like you more genuinely connect with them, but I'm sure they also feel more interesting than the average person, and more attractive, for various reasons. An impossible standard no real person has ever been able to reach.
Takamagahara
Seeker Of Heaven
- Aug 8, 2023
- 142
You are correct in a manner of speaking; fiction has given me unrealistic standards about life and of people, though perhaps not the traditional standards you may be thinking of.
What does most fiction demand? A narrative, a plot, and a conflict. Certainly there are plenty of examples of fictional stories without any of these things, but that's besides the point. To put it simply, fiction demands that the characters within it interact with one another. When two characters come into conflict and have a misunderstanding. For the sake of the drama, their confrontation unfolds in one way or another, but almost always there does exist a confrontation.
Fiction, by its nature, is an exaggerated portrayal of life, and in the course of its mission tells us several lies: people are attractive, people are charismatic, life is interesting, so on, and so forth. These are the standards you had initially laid out. However, I've found that the biggest inherent lie that is told by fiction in its reflection of reality is the fact that real life is not nearly as interactive.
The vast majority of real people are averse to conflict and misunderstandings to the extreme, opting instead for silence, hollow platitudes, or polite, veiled avoidance, gently steering themselves away until the problem becomes a distant speck on the horizon. Even the mildest of social discomforts is considered an aberration to be excised with inaction serving as the scalpel and apathy as the hand that wields it.
It's an incredible irony, if you think about it; "real life is less interactive than fiction". Particularly if you are someone who enjoys video games, where the emphasis on video games as a medium has always been to try to present people with more and larger interactions in an attempt to reflect on the supposedly free-form nature of reality.
To answer your question more directly, yes, fiction has given me unrealistic expectations that real people--particularly those I'd considered friends or even family--could never live up to. If I commit some social faux pas and accidentally say something crass or tasteless that they find objectionable, I expect people to be invested enough in me as a person to care about my growth and help me correct the behavior by pointing it out. When people commit to being friends with one another, I expect them to willingly participate in the lives of each other--within reason--rather than being so self-absorbed as to wordlessly drift away and break off the entire thing through inaction. I had expected people to want to interact with each other, in the way that a narrative requires its characters to interact with one another.
Fiction has no room for apathy. Real life people are filled with nothing but apathy. That's been my experience.
I have a lot of attachment to the Persona series of video games specifically because they foster things like this. The entire main cast of Persona 4 is something that does this well, not just because they're friends with the self-insert main character but because they're friends with each other.
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Zegers
Enlightened
- Dec 15, 2021
- 1,761
Dead Already
Member
- Jul 14, 2023
- 84
I like it, the Fraternal order of death....
No pesky Alumni list to maintain or Sorority to elicit reaction from.
A secret Society based on the peace of darkness shared.
mouseteacup
mouse - it/its
- Aug 1, 2023
- 55
Yeah. My only friends live hours away — I've known them online for years — and I can't meet with them for various reasons. We mail each other things sometimes but I've never actually been able to meet with them. The people I know in real life aren't my friends. It feels so painfully lonely knowing that you have no connection to anyone around you.
that_guy2611
Student
- Mar 17, 2018
- 188
Kundalini Guy
FULLY RECOVERED
- Mar 27, 2023
- 516
Tbh I stopped caring about having friends and relationships. Here I am years without a single friend and am content with it. I saw a guy on the street insulting his friend and his friend just laughed it off, I'd hate to be him. I'd rather stay alone than have fake friends or friends who insult me like that.
I am alone. I mostly work alone and live alone and the nearest friends and family are hundreds of miles away. It can go years between seeing them. I'm fortunate in that I don't suffer from loneliness all that much. However- I do relate to the feeling of being different when I hear other people and families going about their lives. I feel pretty empty which I guess makes me sad because I had the potential to make very deep connections. I did have people in my life that I loved an awful lot. I've just lost most of them through death and moving miles away and our lives becoming so different. I suppose the pain of losing them has put me off forming close relationships now. I think isolation is a very common theme here.
I am ok being lonely. I am afraid of people. I dont know why. I am ok when I am at my house all by myself. It's my safe space. I wouldn't want to disturb it. I just wish I had some interest to loose myself into that activity. Movies, series, sports etc don't help me in that aspect.
I'm similar to you actually. It's the fear of people that drives me to be alone. I'm sorry that you find it hard to distract yourself though. That is something I can usually do to some extent. I'm quite good at getting lost in creative work with a film or music on in the background. Do you like computer games?
No I don't like games. I used to like tv series earlier, but I don't like the stuff being served now a days. I would love to do some creative work. More specifically writing. Currently I just listen to you tube music of different countries.
FadingSunshine
Nothing lasts forever.
- Jul 8, 2023
- 147
I would say no, I'm confidently not confident in myself. I don't think I do well in social settings, and I think that's ok. It isn't a fault. I'm just more comfortable by myself.
venin
Text
- Jul 28, 2023
- 757
What kind of creative work do you do ? I just want to get disconnected with this world.
yoomi
yoomiko
- Aug 14, 2023
- 27
bunnyswatership
Member
- Aug 12, 2023
- 12
I get it. I also feel lonely are an adult. There's a way that people expect you to ask like. Then when you try to connect it's all blank stares untill you behave "normally". It's very lonely.
Absolutely lonely.... and I don't even want mant friends...... Just someone to truly love me and a couple of very close friends.... maybe juts one good friend......
Sorry you're feeling so lonely.... I know it too well how it feels...... so painful.....
Sorry you're feeling so lonely.... I know it too well how it feels...... so painful.....
MatthewV3
Student
- Dec 15, 2021
- 107
immrw
Member
- Jan 22, 2023
- 86
This! I have friends online but that's different than having an irl friend. No one to physically do stuff with, just in the internet world. Feels different. Feels less comforting in some way. Feels lonelier
Pipsqueak!
hi there.
- Jul 14, 2023
- 74
Yes I feel lonely sometimes. Besides online friends the only people I really interact with on a daily basis is my family members. Friends from elsewhere don't usually invite me anywhere (outside of maybe like one) unless I go out of my way to ask first and I get anxiety doing that. It sucks but now I'm just used to it.
saddestbunny
pastebin.com/xJuaSE0j
- Feb 16, 2023
- 203
absolutely
if you act sad no one wants to be around you but i don't want to be a part of a fake existence, I think I'm just broken
wish could find another human that is on the same frequency
