ijustwishtodie
death will be my ultimate bliss
- Oct 29, 2023
- 2,633
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I like cutting myself.23M here and yep. Just your modern day loser who cuts himself, binge drinks, eats junk, and is planning on my suicide in may-june ish. Just a loser noone would ever wish to have had the displeasure of knowing
That's rough, man. What has kept you going?I'm a 30 year old male who's never had a romantic relationship or even ever been on a date. Zero sexual experience and I'm not even that good at video games. I bullshitted my way through college and have a useless degree which only got me a job in retail. I'd say I'm one of the biggest losers of all time.
What does it matter whether I am or not? The result changes nothing.Are you by chance on the spectrum of autism in any way? Or just extremely shy?
Im sorry, I can't distinguish where either of our comments are threaded to which comments. Can you elaborate? Are you saying you don't doubt that you're the biggest loser here, or up there? And I doubted that claim?
A stupid crush on a woman from my work who I just learned today doesn't seem to reciprocate my feelings at all. So…That's rough, man. What has kept you going?
I'm the same, especially in group scenarios. I remember a couple of times during my teenage years I would go completely silent amongst a new group of people for 40 minutes - 1 hour. During this, I would be in my head anxious as heck. This carried into adulthood but I fear that the consequences of being this broken as being too hard to fix. Of course, my social life has never been healthy.I'm a pretty lame person (or at least thats how I view myself). I have no friends, I have trouble speaking to others, I have poor social skills, I'm not funny, I get overly obsessed with certain things to the point where sometimes it ends up consuming my entire being (this is especially the case with certain pieces of media and fictional characters), I'm not very smart, and I'm boring. I tend to get so overly anxious at times that I just freeze up, especially in social situations. I once had a man ask me if I was sick because I kept on freezing.
I'm also constantly confused, even when it comes to things that should be obvious. Today I got hit on by a stranger for the first time and I couldn't even tell that he was hitting on me for an embarrassing amount of time. I was really confused about what the hell was going on. By the time it finally hit me, I became too anxious to turn him down and my mom had to do it for me (I still feel very guilty about it since I'm scared that I might have ruined his day).
I've come to not hate myself for my lameness as I think everyone is a loser to some extent. Hell, my favourite band of the moment is composed of the two very awkward dudes and I think they're cool as fuck because they just don't give a shit (though it's probably a bit easier for them to get away with it since they have pretty privilege, lol). Still, I do need to really work on my social skills and start trying to better communicate my own feelings to others.