anyone else is dying as loner virgin?

[no 4mat]

i missed out on teen love days and stuff. I realized lately how my ugly face and short height were the reasons I always been the circus ape of class.
sometimes i close my eyes and think how would my life be if i had a gf/lover .. but I feel nothing, it's probably better for me to stay alone.
when my brain chemicals trick me into a depressive state due to lack of love and emotions i get i cope by playing chess.

anyone else relate? how do you cope by being a virgin loner.


I expect this thread to be male only because I truly doubt there would be any female/girl that can relate. their sexual lives are set on auto pilot mode.

 

[Amumu]

You're wrong mate a lot of girls can relate.

I'm male and almost a virgin because I've never been in a relationship.
My piece of advice would be not to lose your virginity with someone
who doesn't give a shit about you because you might regret it. This is my case.

And yes relationships can help a lot some people, for others not that much

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm repeating myself yet again but I too am a loner and a virgin.

I used to cope by trying to insist that I was married to one of the waifus that I had married in a game. It worked for a while but people tried so hard to convince me she wasn't real that they weren't prepared to deal with me after I realized that.

Having a fictional waifu was almost perfect for me because besides the lack of sex which I didn't care about at the time, it was nice to be able to have someone to love without worrying about my hurting them. Part of why I continue to be a loner and a virgin is the fact that I realize that a relationship with me is basically dooming a girl to a life of misery so why burden a real person with that?

Unfortunately my friends were able to convince me that my physical needs were not being met but now I'm stuck being unable to meet those needs knowing that trying to is definitely going to hurt someone. Being with me is probably one of the most evil things a woman could be subjected to so I have no choice but to continue my loneliness.

Nowadays I cope by distracting myself by any means possible. I'm going to CTB next year so it's not too long left for me.

 

[Kramer]

Do you go on /r9k? Teen love isn't all that great. I purposely rejected it because my parents would've gotten involved. College and your 20s is better for that kind of thing.

 

[death137]

Yes I will die as a virgin but I don't consider myself a loser because of that. I consider myself a loser for other things like being short/ugly, not having a degree, being introvert.

 

[the_phoenix_project]

I'm in a similar situation as yours, loner, few friends, never had a gf, but I think the idea that women had it easy is pure male fantasy. Of course if you are attractive you probably had it easy but that goes for both sexes, and I'd argue it's worse for women because so much of their worth in society is predicated on their attractiveness.

As for coping mechanism, I suppose I'm not really doing well otherwise I wouldn't be here, but one thing I'm trying to learn, and I've seen other people do it really well (they tend to be considered charismatic), is to try to find your own sets of social scripts, what to talk about during chitchats, interesting bits about yourself that you can share with other people, asking open questions, relating to other people's answers, etc. In other words, social skills that you can use to actually get to know someone beyond the most superficial level so that you can start to form real connections. I know it's easier said then done, I have a lot of trouble doing it myself and it's such a personal thing that you almost have to figure things out by trial and error.

 

[WornOutLife]

I wouldn't say "virgin" but I'm probably gonna die as a loner "inactive person at sex"
Well, I don't even remember my last time. Maybe a year ago? Lol

Anyway, I don't mind it that much. Still, there might be some opportunity to get sex before I ctb but the thing is it should be just sex because if there are emotional feelings involved, we will both suffer due to my CTB plans.

Also, don't feel bad! Loneliness can be really cool! I couldn't even be alone without my parents disturbing me and monitoring me 24/7 a week ago!

Wish you the best and hope you can find peace.

 

[sadlystillgoing3]

i missed out on teen love days and stuff. I realized lately how my ugly face and short height were the reasons I always been the circus ape of class.
sometimes i close my eyes and think how would my life be if i had a gf/lover .. but I feel nothing, it's probably better for me to stay alone.
when my brain chemicals trick me into a depressive state due to lack of love and emotions i get i cope by playing chess.

anyone else relate? how do you cope by being a virgin loner.


I expect this thread to be male only because I truly doubt there would be any female/girl that can relate. their sexual lives are set on auto pilot mode.

First of all, girls are not on auto pilot. Trust me. I'm female, I didn't have my first kiss until 18. Had my first time at 18, but it wasn't consensual. Everyone I told blamed me partly for it. Years later the man who did it reached out to me and proceeded to blame me entirely. I fucking hated myself for that. I had one boyfriend and sex was rarely enjoyable because I hated my body so much. My eating disorder made my sex drive plummet and it brought me no joy at all. I wish I was still a virgin. I wish I never did anything. Having a partner doesn't solve all your problems, or even some of them. I fell in love so quickly, so intensely, but within a few months the honeymoon period ended and I went from loving him to hating him multiple times a day. Eventually I ruined everything and treated him like shit, which is all my fault.
Being a virgin is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. Virginity is a manmade concept, anyways.

 

[MAIO]

i missed out on teen love days and stuff. I realized lately how my ugly face and short height were the reasons I always been the circus ape of class.
sometimes i close my eyes and think how would my life be if i had a gf/lover .. but I feel nothing, it's probably better for me to stay alone.
when my brain chemicals trick me into a depressive state due to lack of love and emotions i get i cope by playing chess.

anyone else relate? how do you cope by being a virgin loner.


I expect this thread to be male only because I truly doubt there would be any female/girl that can relate. their sexual lives are set on auto pilot mode.

for starters I know men really challenged in the look department who end up with hot girls. I can't really name many ugly girls who end up with hot guys. It's really the opposite of what you are claiming in many ways it's just guys generally don't understand attraction at all and girls somewhat naturally do. If it makes you feel any better I have ended up with many models, much money, prodigies etc and I am calling my life short.

 

[Romeo]

I'm a loner and a virgin too. I abandoned the idea of having a gf much time ago. I usually cope by playing drums.

 

[ZardozOmega]

me

 

[MAIO]

First of all, girls are not on auto pilot. Trust me. I'm female, I didn't have my first kiss until 18. Had my first time at 18, but it wasn't consensual. Everyone I told blamed me partly for it. Years later the man who did it reached out to me and proceeded to blame me entirely. I fucking hated myself for that. I had one boyfriend and sex was rarely enjoyable because I hated my body so much. My eating disorder made my sex drive plummet and it brought me no joy at all. I wish I was still a virgin. I wish I never did anything. Having a partner doesn't solve all your problems, or even some of them. I fell in love so quickly, so intensely, but within a few months the honeymoon period ended and I went from loving him to hating him multiple times a day. Eventually I ruined everything and treated him like shit, which is all my fault.
Being a virgin is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. Virginity is a manmade concept, anyways.

You know society/culture displays this fantasy of how relationships should work, which is many aspects is the exact opposite of how relationships actually works and it what it sounds like you bought into. So of course your relationships were really fucked up. Before you get into a relationship you should be complete, having a lot going on in your life, be yourself and happy with yourself. It's unfair to the other person and yourself to not reach these things before being a relationship because you are going to want the other person to fulfill you in these areas which is far too much on one person. Being fulfilled in many ways/areas come from within. You need honest communication ie to work through problems as they come up etc. None of it's your fault and it's okay you just didn't know any better

I'm repeating myself yet again but I too am a loner and a virgin.

I used to cope by trying to insist that I was married to one of the waifus that I had married in a game. It worked for a while but people tried so hard to convince me she wasn't real that they weren't prepared to deal with me after I realized that.

Having a fictional waifu was almost perfect for me because besides the lack of sex which I didn't care about at the time, it was nice to be able to have someone to love without worrying about my hurting them. Part of why I continue to be a loner and a virgin is the fact that I realize that a relationship with me is basically dooming a girl to a life of misery so why burden a real person with that?

Unfortunately my friends were able to convince me that my physical needs were not being met but now I'm stuck being unable to meet those needs knowing that trying to is definitely going to hurt someone. Being with me is probably one of the most evil things a woman could be subjected to so I have no choice but to continue my loneliness.

Nowadays I cope by distracting myself by any means possible. I'm going to CTB next year so it's not too long left for me.

Do you realize that If you change your behavior become the qualities you want to attract, you will be worthy of these woman and be able to have these relationships, especially if you semi learn how attraction works etc. You act like how you are is set is stone and unchangeable. It's not at all, you just need to change some things if you want this different life.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Do you realize that If you change your behavior become the qualities you want to attract, you will be worthy of these woman and be able to have these relationships, especially if you semi learn how attraction works etc. You act like how you are is set is stone and unchangeable. It's not at all, you just need to change some things if you want this different life.

I realize that but I also realize that's just not gonna happen with me. I'm not going to force any changes I don't like on myself just for women no matter how desperate my biology is making me want to be with one.

Maybe if one that I would like shows interest in me first then I would start making some changes and improvements to accommodate them but I don't plan on completely revamping who I am even if I am a really terrible person. I don't want to have to raise someone's hopes up knowing I might relapse back into suckiness eventually anyway. Whoever they are would have to be inhumanly patient and understanding because realistically if you can't accept me at my worst you'll probably never see my best and my best isn't even that good so no attitude change of mine is gonna fix that either.

 

[Nymph]

the fact that u think that only males will answer this thread is already wrong. its about ur mindset, not all woman have it easy with sex life, you have to put work into it and actively look for new ppl u can meet.

 

[MAIO]

I realize that but I also realize that's just not gonna happen with me. I'm not going to force any changes I don't like on myself just for women no matter how desperate my biology is making me want to be with one.

Maybe if one that I would like shows interest in me first then I would start making some changes and improvements to accommodate them but I don't plan on completely revamping who I am even if I am a really terrible person. I don't want to have to raise someone's hopes up knowing I might relapse back into suckiness eventually anyway. Whoever they are would have to be inhumanly patient and understanding because realistically if you can't accept me at my worst you'll probably never see my best and my best isn't even that good so no attitude change of mine is gonna fix that either.

Why wouldn't you like the changes? You like yourself and are fully, happy and complete with yourself for who you are etc?if that's the case than no you shouldn't change anything. Even if you changed nothing if you just hung out with enough people you would probably get a girlfriend eventually it just wouldn't be a healthy relationship.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Why wouldn't you like the changes? You like yourself and are fully, happy and complete with yourself for who you are etc?if that's the case than no you shouldn't change anything. Even if you changed nothing if you just hung out with enough people you would probably get a girlfriend eventually it just wouldn't be a healthy relationship.

I really don't like myself and I never will. Even if I improve or achieve something good I will hate myself for it. That's just the way I am. I don't deserve great things for myself because of all the terrible things I have already done to myself and to others. I know people say you should forgive yourself but people also say that one does not have to forgive the abusers who have victimized them and trust me, I'm my own worst abuser and I will never let that piece of shit get away with living a good life if it's the last thing I do. Maybe I would love myself more if someone else did but I also know that I only think that because I haven't had that happen for me ever before so I don't actually know. If that doesn't work then there really is no hope left for me.

I actually do have lots of friends that I hang out with though I'm not romantically interested in any of them because most of them are guys and the ones who aren't are already in relationships though I probably wouldn't really be interested in them anyway even if they weren't because they're just friends.

For me it's about someone who I'm interested in also being interested in me. Too much to ask? Yeah, I thought so too. I still try to put myself out there these days by going on apps and stuff but they're mostly pointless because I almost never see anyone there I'm interested in anyway much less have people there be interested in me.

Knowing all these facts, I can see why no one would be with me. There's just no hope in this endeavor. I could prattle on all day about how much I suck.

 

[Deformationalplagio]

you dont want to hear this probably but im like 5.7 skinny i have scoliosis and im severly deformed on my face and skull and im balding badly. and im not a virgin. i had a lot of sexual affection despite how i look but thats mainly because i have a good sense of humor and have a lots of talents. the only thing thats holding you back is you. woman can see past looks . ok . not all of them but those woman you better skip on anyways. i do have relationshipproblems because of how i look but thats mainly because the last couple of years my deformity really started getting to me

 

[Amumu]

I have a good sense of humor and have a lots of talents.

Well not everyone is like that

 

[StringPuppet]

Yeah I guess that's one way to describe me

 

[262653]

Somehow I feel like talking about it, even though I really don't see the point. I feel like the discussion goes in two ways: self pity or the other one with the convenient name of which I haven't come come up just yet, and neither of these I find more helpful than harmful.

Self-pity: I'm alone. So, so alone. No one will ever love me. I'm so poor and miserable, and always will be. Do I even know why I'm saying all of this?

The other one: Hey. I also was depressed, lonely, and all that. Then I did this and got that. I have it, so can you. Because we are all humans and are therefore equally capable of securing our objectives.
Are you poor? Have you tried working? Make money? You're just lacking money. See? It's that simple.
Are you diabetic? Have you tried making insulin?
Are you depressed? Have you tried be motivated to do something about it?
You don't have what you want? Maybe you just don't really want it. After all, we always get what we want.
Hey, I had this thingy you so desperately crave, and guess what? That didn't make me feel good, so it won't make you feel good either, because inductive reasoning always produces accurate predictions.

 

[it's_all_a_game]

I'm gonna die without ever even falling in love, much less having sex...but I hate most people anyways, so it doesn't matter.

 

[Amumu]

Somehow I feel like talking about it, even though I really don't see the point. I feel like the discussion goes in two ways: self pity or the other one with the convenient name of which I haven't come come up just yet, and neither of these I find more helpful than harmful.

Self-pity: I'm alone. So, so alone. No one will ever love me. I'm so poor and miserable, and always will be. Do I even know why I'm saying all of this?

The other one: Hey. I also was depressed, lonely, and all that. Then I did this and got that. I have it, so can you. Because we are all humans and are therefore equally capable of securing our objectives.
Are you poor? Have you tried working? Make money? You're just lacking money. See? It's that simple.
Are you diabetic? Have you tried making insulin?
Are you depressed? Have you tried be motivated to do something about it?
You don't have what you want? Maybe you just don't really want it. After all, we always get what we want.
Hey, I had this thingy you so desperately crave, and guess what? That didn't make me feel good, so it won't make you feel good either, because inductive reasoning always produces accurate predictions.

This sir, is one of the most accurate posts I've seen. Thank you.

 

[HenryHobkins]

Yea im a loner and a virgin, its not something i really think about. I hate interacting with others and being vulnerable so being in a relationship sounds like a nightmare for me. Also sounds like something that would be super stressful

 

[yive]

me

and me :(

 

[lonerclown666]

That is one of the main reasons i want to die but life is pointless anyways nothing matters

 

[astro]

I'm a loner and a virgin but I used to not be worried about it at all. Now that it has become hard for me to find friends and the chances of finding somebody romantically interested in me have decreased drastically it bothers somewhat but not too much since I'm mostly emotionally numb.

 

[RainAndSadness]

I'm also gonna die lonely and without love, affection and intimacy. It's frustrating but some of us simply aren't lucky. I had hopes that I could at least get to experience this once again before I'll ctb but it doesn't look like that. My time is running out. My heart goes out to everyone in this forum who is deprived of basic love, affection and intimacy. You deserve more.

 

[Steamm]

I'm not a virgin but definitely a loner

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

It's not that great. I fail at every relationship

 

[xLosthopex]

I grew up being a loner/loser in school, no guys ever liked me, wanted to go out with me etc. so had convinced myself no one would ever find my attractive and that I'd never be able to date guys, have sex etc.
And well I guess you could say I had a very dramatic 'glow up' lol when I reached adulthood and my life is now the complete opposite, I get a huge amount of male attention and interest wherever I go
It's actually my job to be attractive and sexy, and interact with and please men
It took a very long time though for me to actually be able to accept that men were attracted to me, if a guy was flirting with me or asked me out I would automatically assume it must just be some sort of joke

But I guess the point I'm making is that a few years ago I never in a million years would have pictured myself in this situation, and things really can change
Not that it has mad any difference to me wanting to ctb though lol