anyone else is dying as loner virgin?

[Freedom Believer]

Yep. At this point it's hopeless that I'll ever find someone. I'm 20, about to turn 21 and I still look like I'm 13 or 14. I'm short, thin, and have a high voice. It's never going to happen. I could become rich and famous but no one's going to love me except for my family. The one thing that I want out of life I'm never going to have.

 

[TheSomebody]

Im a virgin but It never bothered me, because my sex drive is really low. But being alone sucks and that's one of the reasons I want ctb

 

[ZardozOmega]

Yep. At this point it's hopeless that I'll ever find someone. I'm 20, about to turn 21 and I still look like I'm 13 or 14. I'm short, thin, and have a high voice. It's never going to happen. I could become rich and famous but no one's going to love me except for my family. The one thing that I want out of life I'm never going to have.

Are you 100% straight? cuz if you're not, you'd likely have lots of success with men.

 

[yive]

It's never going to happen. I could become rich and famous but no one's going to love me except for my family. The one thing that I want out of life I'm never going to have.

i'm in the same boat. i'll never get it

 

[Freedom Believer]

Are you 100% straight? cuz if you're not, you'd likely have lots of success with men.

Sexually attracted to them? No.

 

[Steamm]

Yep. At this point it's hopeless that I'll ever find someone. I'm 20, about to turn 21 and I still look like I'm 13 or 14. I'm short, thin, and have a high voice. It's never going to happen. I could become rich and famous but no one's going to love me except for my family. The one thing that I want out of life I'm never going to have.

You are way too young.

Im a virgin but It never bothered me, because my sex drive is really low. But being alone sucks and that's one of the reasons I want ctb

Me too, I miss the company not the sex.

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm a born again virgin.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I'm a born again virgin.

I feel like I am, too. It's been so long for me, I barely remember what it feels like.

 

[ZardozOmega]

i was actually taking antiandrogens to make me forget about sex, but since i dont like going out for anything, i cant buy more :/

 

[Nicebuddimtim]

Had 2 fairly sexual relationships but idk I'm just not bothered by sexual integration it is weird and over rated. Been about 5 years since I got laid maybe try again before I die but I'm not that interested.

 

[MrBlue]

I'm a virgin, and at 22 I'm abit past being a late bloomer so that's not going to change anytime soon. I'm repulsive just from my height alone, and add my mental health and most women see me as my profile pic lol. Plus because I don't have any friends either it would be wrong of me to even try dating someone.

 

[Canon1]

I had a lot of sexual partners and I am I'd say some kind of tall and good looking. So beauty doesn't protect you to end up here.

 

[MAIO]

I really don't like myself and I never will. Even if I improve or achieve something good I will hate myself for it. That's just the way I am. I don't deserve great things for myself because of all the terrible things I have already done to myself and to others. I know people say you should forgive yourself but people also say that one does not have to forgive the abusers who have victimized them and trust me, I'm my own worst abuser and I will never let that piece of shit get away with living a good life if it's the last thing I do. Maybe I would love myself more if someone else did but I also know that I only think that because I haven't had that happen for me ever before so I don't actually know. If that doesn't work then there really is no hope left for me.

I actually do have lots of friends that I hang out with though I'm not romantically interested in any of them because most of them are guys and the ones who aren't are already in relationships though I probably wouldn't really be interested in them anyway even if they weren't because they're just friends.

For me it's about someone who I'm interested in also being interested in me. Too much to ask? Yeah, I thought so too. I still try to put myself out there these days by going on apps and stuff but they're mostly pointless because I almost never see anyone there I'm interested in anyway much less have people there be interested in me.

Knowing all these facts, I can see why no one would be with me. There's just no hope in this endeavor. I could prattle on all day about how much I suck.

There is your problem. The entire point of punishment or justice is to reform you so you change it's not to eternally punish you as than it has no purpose. If you want to feel better you have to stop being your worse enemy and instead be your own best friend-otherwise if you stay alive you are going to put people through terror and may even become like your abuser as you can't inspire the best in others if you can't inspire the best in yourself. You have to change and forgive yourself or you are not a good friend/whatever else.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

There is your problem. The entire point of punishment or justice is to reform you so you change it's not to eternally punish you as than it has no purpose. If you want to feel better you have to stop being your worse enemy and instead be your own best friend-otherwise if you stay alive you are going to put people through terror and may even become like your abuser as you can't inspire the best in others if you can't inspire the best in yourself. You have to change and forgive yourself or you are not a good friend/whatever else.

I'm aware of that but my unwillingness to do that is why I've chosen to CTB in the first place. At least I can get rid of some of the evil in the world that way...

Also again, abuse survivors are told that they should not be forced to forgive their abusers which I fully agree with. I have no intention of doing so after the unforgivable things I did anyway.

 

[MAIO]

I'm aware of that but my unwillingness to do that is why I've chosen to CTB in the first place. At least I can get rid of some of the evil in the world that way...

Also again, abuse survivors are told that they should not be forced to forgive their abusers which I fully agree with. I have no intention of doing so after the unforgivable things I did anyway.

I support your right to CTB and not forgive others but I still think you should forgive yourself before you CTB. You didn't understand how your actions impact/affect others, and feel such remorse that you are walking out on life. Life is a combination complex rules, laws and systems. It's not like you had a book to navigate these complex patterns, you just didn't understand it well enough. So Why does that make you so terrible beyond forgiveness?

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I currently am a lonely virgin and I don't see that changing before I ctb so yeah guess I will. I'm a gross loser, it fits me.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

It's been four years since for me; I think my virginity has grown back. And always a loner.

 

[Meditation guide]

I barely remember what it feels like.

You're lucky, I wish I didn't.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I support your right to CTB and not forgive others but I still think you should forgive yourself before you CTB. You didn't understand how your actions impact/affect others, and feel such remorse that you are walking out on life. Life is a combination complex rules, laws and systems. It's not like you had a book to navigate these complex patterns, you just didn't understand it well enough. So Why does that make you so terrible beyond forgiveness?

Thank you for respecting my choice. There have been just as many times where I knowingly did wrongful acts for my own self interest that I won't really get into here. There are some things I believe that make me evil from the perspective of where I live even though I don't necessarily agree. I'm sure someone else could make something out of this useless body of mine better than I could but I just don't have the willpower after the amount of introspection I've done had revealed that when I face any form of adversity no matter how minor, I will simply fold. It's just the way I am. My entire accomplishments up to this point are simply due to either bullshitting or misguided faith being placed in me. I really feel my only chance to turn things around would be if someone else gives me a chance first which would hopefully force me out of my tunnel vision but I get that it's a long shot either way.

In any case, my preference for spewing out words to complain about myself over actually doing anything should definitely be a telltale sign that there's no hope in sight for me.

 

[stygal]

I've had sexual encounters and relationships and I still ended up here.

The sexual encounters could have not been there and I would be just as happy now.
You missed out on nothing tbh.

Being in a relationship was good though and if (big if) you find the right person you can generally have a good time. But most "honeymoon phases" end and you'll be back in your everyday routines and in most cases your partner won't be able to save you from your own demons (depression, feeling of emptiness).

 

[Mentalmick]

I'll die a virgin and I don't care. It's the love aspect which I'll never experience which has done a lot of damage over the years.

 

[DJJE]

Here's some of the things I've learnt, but if someone told me when I was younger I wouldn't have understood fully or believed them.

1) It's not really the sex you crave. Its the affection, intimacy, and connection with someone. Even BDSM is based on trust!

2) There is a relatively easy way to get sex. Lie. Say everything you want her to hear. You'll feel good for a short while, but then you'll feel shit about yourself afterwards, unless you're a narcissist. You are better than them.

3) Bragging about "How many birds you've shagged" is a sign of insecurity. People do it as they are seeking validation. If they need lots of sex to feel validated then they are likely to be a very insecure person. I known people who've supposedly got it all, but they've cheated on their wives and the parents of their kids etc. Those people are dead inside and hate themselves. They can't even face up to them hating themselves, you are better than them.

4) You can't compair mens sex lifes to womens, simply because men generally do the propositioning. Men who are unsuccessful in love get no propositions at all.... Women get lots of unwanted proposition.

5) Films and the media make everything out to be a lot more complicated than it needs to be.

It can actually be really straight forward. If you like someone, and thinks she's into you - just say - "Hey, do you fancy going for a drink some time?"

Making a move to steal a kiss... thats more difficult to work out how it generally happens because I'm normal pretty drunk.

However, if you get that far and she's into you, all you have to say is "hey, do you fancy going back to mine?"

If she say no, that's cool, she won't be offended, follow it up by saying something like "that's cool, sorry I should have asked, I'm really enjoying spending time with you, wanna meet up again soon?"

Nothing complicated. Just be honest. It will happen. Hope you meet someone you really like! Its about you, not anyone else.

 

[lonerclown666]

dying virgin is not so bad when you know real love dont exist is just empty pleasure real love even dont exist in family or with your parents

 

[esann7]

i missed out on teen love days and stuff. I realized lately how my ugly face and short height were the reasons I always been the circus ape of class.
sometimes i close my eyes and think how would my life be if i had a gf/lover .. but I feel nothing, it's probably better for me to stay alone.
when my brain chemicals trick me into a depressive state due to lack of love and emotions i get i cope by playing chess.

anyone else relate? how do you cope by being a virgin loner.


I expect this thread to be male only because I truly doubt there would be any female/girl that can relate. their sexual lives are set on auto pilot mode.

I am a girl and I can relate. My friends tell me "well open a f***ing Bumble account and search for people!!" Or "go to a bar!!" Like it's my fault no one has approached me. I mean, honestly??? A lot of my friends didn't even open a bumble or a tinder to even enter a relationship. I get it, it's the case for some people. But it sucks to me because I REALLY have to go to that point where I have to go on a dating website to look for romance. And honestly??? I think relationships are over-romanticized. Once you're in a relationship there's a lot of standards to meet and I don't want myself getting involved in that bullshit. I've seen it with my parents and it was not good. And life is so demanding as well, that's why I'm still planning on CTB. I don't care if I die a virgin because it wouldn't even matter.

dying virgin is not so bad when you know real love dont exist is just empty pleasure real love even dont exist in family or with your parents

I agree

 

[Amumu]

Being in a relationship was good though and if (big if) you find the right person you can generally have a good time. But most "honeymoon phases" end and you'll be back in your everyday routines and in most cases your partner won't be able to save you from your own demons (depression, feeling of emptiness).

Cause consequence right... If I had healthy relationships before I wouldn't have been so fucked up in the head in the first place. I've seen some people leave SS due to new relationships, so we never know really. What about long-lasting marriages? (About 80 years?)

We've become so disenchanted... So sad.

 

[Meditation guide]

2) There is a relatively easy way to get sex. Lie. Say everything you want her to hear. You'll feel good for a short while, but then you'll feel shit about yourself afterwards, unless you're a narcissist. You are better than them.

Believe it or not I have actually known men who only want sex with a woman they love. And also believe it or not I have known men who are honest and able to get sex without needing to lie. Men don't have to be total shits to get sex. They can be genuine, honest, and have character and get sex. What they do have is respect for women.

 

[Arvinneedstodie]

dying virgin is not so bad when you know real love dont exist is just empty pleasure real love even dont exist in family or with your parents

Say what you want about the authenticity of love, but the instinctive desire for that intimate connection is very fking real.

Lack of any intimate connection can wreck hovac on all aspects of one's life in self-esteem, in motivation, in mental well-being, and the chronic stress it creates can cause or worsen some serious health problems. Then there's the social problems, the stigmatization, misunderstanding, and lack of social opportunities and connections that often come with a relationships.

We are social animals, intelligent and complicated social animals. We thrive when we are social, and a big part of that is the intimate relationships.

 

[lonerclown666]

Say what you want about the authenticity of love, but the instinctive desire for that intimate connection is very fking real.

Lack of any intimate connection can wreck hovac on all aspects of one's life in self-esteem, in motivation, in mental well-being, and the chronic stress it creates can cause or worsen some serious health problems. Then there's the social problems, the stigmatization, misunderstanding, and lack of social opportunities and connections that often come with a relationships.

We are social animals, intelligent and complicated social animals. We thrive when we are social, and a big part of that is the intimate relationships.

all people cheat relationships are a joke nowdays

 

[Bauhaus]

Also loner and a virgin and I'm almost middle aged.
Not that I care any longer, my libido is below freezing point for decades.
Funny thing is, the first 16 years of my life I was obsessed with sex and when I was 14-16 y old I really craved for having a relationship with a girl. But it was not just sex, I especially craved for affection, I would often fantasize about laying naked in bed with a girl and cuddle and kiss. I think the urge for sex was more of a surrogate for affection, not that the sex part didn't matter, but only when I was much older I think it was more about the affection.
I french kissed a girl once and I felt I was like in heaven :)
Once I passed the age of 16 it all went downhill, health detetriorated, libido went down quickly, later I also figured out I was gay and from that point on nothing mattered anymore.
But I do regret I didn't have a small relationship when I was in the 14-16y range.
Life is funny, the first 16 years of your life you're longing so intense for something and later you realize you will never get it anyway.
Fuck nature/god or any other bastard who dictated my my life !
On a sidenote, I think youngsters now have it easier regarding sexuality, theres the hole lgbtqia...pansexual, bi-curious, etc.....
If I were a youngster now I would say I'm bi-curious, I'm unsure about my sexuality but I desperately want to experience sex/affection with a girl.

 

[CandySatan]

Girls don't have it easy either. Expect they use tons of make up and ruin their health to be skinny asf. One of my friends did that she starved herself and now has tons of guys wanting to f her...