Discussion anyone else have a debilitating physical illness that's driven them to this point?

[bluesoapyskies]

aside from suffering from mental and developmental disorders (ofc because why would life be easy), i'd say one my main reasons are my physical illnesses. theyre the hardest to ignore because you see them every time you look into the mirror.

would you likely have made a different choice if you didn't suffer from it?

 

[dialogos]

There are some here with debilitating physical sicknesses. Since we all come from different time zones it may take time for them to reply.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Yes, there's many of us here who have dehabilitating chronic health conditions. I also have a developmental disorder (Autism) and PTSD but being physically ill is the worst because you can't distract yourself from the other issues anymore. It strips away your ability to have a normal, functioning life, at least in my case.

I've had CFS and chronic pain for over 6 years now, sometimes the worst part is not even the physical pain and suffering you must endure, but how others mistreat you due to being ill, the disbelief they cast, including maltreatment from the medical system.

Chronic health conditions are not often acknowledged as a driver of suicidality, but you have to look no further than famous cases like Robin William's to see that once someone is grappling with the reality a long term health condition, especially incurable and untreatable ones like the dementia he suffered from, it is terribly hard to keep going. Sending you love, I know how terrible it is to have to look in the mirror daily and see evidence of ill health when you wish for a healthy body.

 

[FeyB]

Yes, there's many of us here who have dehabilitating chronic health conditions. I also have a developmental disorder (Autism) and PTSD but being physically ill is the worst because you can't distract yourself from the other issues anymore. It strips away your ability to have a normal, functioning life, at least in my case.

I've had CFS and chronic pain for over 6 years now, sometimes the worst part is not even the physical pain and suffering you must endure, but how others mistreat you due to being ill, the disbelief they cast, including maltreatment from the medical system.

Chronic health conditions are not often acknowledged as a driver of suicidality, but you have to look no further than famous cases like Robin William's to see that once someone is grappling with the reality a long term health condition, especially incurable and untreatable ones like the dementia he suffered from, it is terribly hard to keep going. Sending you love, I know how terrible it is to have to look in the mirror daily and see evidence of ill health when you wish for a healthy body.

Not having physical chronic physical health conditions I can't fully comprehend but I would say even chronic mental health conditions you can't live a day without noticing how it impacts your life and your inability to live a functioning life.

I have autism and altough I can move around and travel alone in any part of the world, I can't walk around even around my house without being reminded of how unable I am to communicate correctly with other humans

 

[Starry✧･ﾟDaze]

In November 2021 I was send to the ER and got diagnosed with a pericarditis with water in my lungs and pleurisy.
From that point my physical health went downhill pretty fast. The pericarditis was treated just to make room for a chronic myocarditis (heart muscle inflammation). Fatigue and bad chest pain follow me almost every day.

I've been mentally ill for 16 years, but always in good physical condition before my heart got sick at the age of 24.

One month after my diagnosis I got a new one - endometriosis - and then surgery shortly afterwards. This one is in control for now and I'm very grateful for that.

Heart pain stopped for 5 months, but it's back and I'm reluctant to go to the doctor again.

I'm so afraid this nightmare of endless appointments and hospital stays will repeat itself and I wish my damn heart would finally end me. But at the same time this could be a horrible death and I'm so afraid of just dropping down, struggling in pain and never getting a chance to say goodbye to my loved ones.

More reasons to end it myself.

 

[Darkover]

yeap a debilitating brain injury since 2016 my life end in 2016 but i've not been buried yet just a living corpse

 

[BrutalWorldNot4me]

Sleep apnea

 

[dialogos]

yeap a debilitating brain injury since 2016 my life end in 2016 but i've not been buried yet just a living corpse

You are one of the people here I was thinking about when ts wrote this post. Im sorry this happened to you. I can't imagine the hardship.

 

[TheDog_]

Yes. I am scared I will need a feeding tube if I get worse. I have gone time without eating or drinking, and I think I would let myself go on Hospice and die like I was originally going to before going through drastic treatment that fortunately helped for now. I am terrified of surgery because my last one ruined me. I would miss food too much, even though my diet is extremely limited anyways. I was already so hopeless before I became sick. I cannot believe God exists because why would He have me suffer so much more. My paranoia was already so intense before. Now, I live in constant fear of my body deteriorating more and am dependent on Xanax. Before becoming physically ill, I was in self-help programs and getting better. I am also terrified of bodily fluids such as blood so the aspect of a feeding tube scares me much more. I was in a support group for those with tubes as that was my next step before surgery and I saw so much acid, blood, infection, and pain that it terrified me. I think I'm just a coward and I'm sorry for this vent. I just wish there was a way to help those who want to be helped. I know some people love their tubes, but I also know I would rip mine out in a moment of paranoia and be forced into hospital for the rest of my life. My digestive problems are not the only things I struggle with physically, so that also makes me less convinced to agree to life-sustaining treatment. I know people from the support group who chose to discontinue tube feedings or TPN (nutrition though IV) because it was all too much for them eventually. I wish they had the choice for MAID as they could only chose to starve to death instead. I think it depends on the person. I wish I was stronger, but I'm not.