Anyone else getting a 'sign' that they are supposed to live?

[Anonymoussn]

Does anyone else keep getting obvious signs they shouldn't CTB? I do. I just got one just now. I went downstairs to cook some food, and The Simpsons came on (00.35 on channel 4. Go watch the episode on c4+1 at 01:35 if your in the UK, just to prove I haven't made this up). Homer is about to kill himself, and just as he is about to kill himself, his family come running across the road, and he runs out and saves them. So the message is supposed to be that he saved the lives of his family, and therefore had a purpose, and if he had have died before that, wouldn't have been able to save everyone. This is the third time that I've got a very clear message like this in the last week. After having thought about CTB all week. And do you know what I have to say back to the universe? Stop giving me bullshit symbolic reasons to live, and give me an actual reason to live. I dont want a sign. I want an ACTUAL REASON. I want to see actual improvement in my life that makes me actually happy about the thought of continuing on with my life. Not just a sign that fucking Homer Simpson wants me to live.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I want to see actual improvement in my life that makes me actually happy about the thought of continuing on with my life. Not just a sign that fucking Homer Simpson wants me to live.

I'm dead

In all seriousness we all want a genuine reason to live but neither the universe or humanity actually cares about any of us.

 

[Final Escape]

No. I feel ready go and there's no signs to live.

 

[Anonymoussn]

 

[Luchs]

I almost died of an infection as a baby. I never know if I should interpret it as the world trying to kill me off, but the intervention of people saving me, or god wanting me to live and not letting the sickness kill me.

 

[stillweary]

Mine is kind of the opposite. I had a freak illness that should have killed me in my teens, but somehow I survived it. Life has been completely pointless and purposeless since then, and I take that as a sign that I was supposed to die as a teenager. I'm resentful that I didn't.

 

[sourcreamonion]

Actually, yes. I remember the other day I was going through a really bad self-deprecating episode and decided that I wanted to eat fast food, something that would give me temporary satisfaction. Went to look at McDonald's menu, there was an AD saying, "you're doing your best! Don't give up yet!" Yeah, I ordered a bit more on their menu just because of that.

 

[ERASED]

No everything is saying KILL MYSELF

 

[TakeYourHappyPills]

Actually, yes. I remember the other day I was going through a really bad self-deprecating episode and decided that I wanted to eat fast food, something that would give me temporary satisfaction. Went to look at McDonald's menu, there was an AD saying, "you're doing your best! Don't give up yet!" Yeah, I ordered a bit more on their menu just because of that.

I'm sorry super off topic to this whole website but is that a haikyuu pfp I see?

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

I dont get signs to die or to live, but i do get signs to "trust them". Every day, all day long. It always ends up with me finding a message "trust us with your life and death, we will guide you". Cringy but still.

It was coincidence 2-3 months ago. But every single day, thats just odd. Whenever i cry and scream out of sadness and anxiety, out of nowhere, message pops out. Tv, music, internet, books, random ppl on the street even.. Neighbourhood radio.

So i decided to do just that. "Ok i trust you" i say everytime and my anxiety subsides. I live alone since husband died, but i guess im not so alone.

Maybe they dont want me to ctb here.. Or atleast not with gory methods. Maybe ill find more quick and peaceful option, and if i may say in my craziness, they are good at giving options.. Whoever "they" are.

My husband always told me "open your eyes and ears, and dont ignore the signs. Theyre here for a reason. Its crazy, yes, but did they ever fail us? No. ", so i trust them. Worked really good so far. Crazy or not. But i do not regret it.

I just wish they could speak more directly.. Im not good at deciphering. Very impatient too. I wish they would just spell it out to me.

 

[Soul]

I'm sorry super off topic to this whole website but is that a haikyuu pfp I see?

Where, exactly?

 

[TStorm]

One time I felt super bad and I went to Wendy's to get some food, and the guy gave me a free frostie. Because I looked so pathetic I guess. But I felt like maybe that was a sign not to go yet. At the same time I don't see much point in continuing on either

 

[sadghost]

Sometimes I get feel like I encounter signs that I shouldn't CTB and sometimes signs that I should've CTB way sooner. It's conflicting

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I am constantly getting signs that I should do it. Every time I try to be optimistic something happens which reminds me of why I'll always fail.

 

[SpottedPanda]

Unless God knocks on my door and says "I'm God, don't kill yourself" I'm not really heeding signs.

The problem is I'm on my meds. Without them even the TV would be directly communicating with me.

Kudos to you though, if you're finding inspiration to give life a good go.

 

[sourcreamonion]

I'm sorry super off topic to this whole website but is that a haikyuu pfp I see?

Yeah haha, and I can see the demon slayer pfp, I haven't watched it yet.

 

[TakeYourHappyPills]

Yeah haha, and I can see the demon slayer pfp, I haven't watched it yet.

Yea lmao. I didn't expect to find someone cultured in anime here

 

[sadgirl2002]

I think the fact that I found the one person I was looking for and I had waited for throughout my entire life, just a week before I was ready to CTB by hanging is probably the sign that I'm supposed to live.

 

[SnakeTeam93]

For me I don't know why but I always make it out all good and shiny from almost everything and I don't understand why I have had serious infections some operations and some drownings and dropped and flown from bridge and hit by car 2 times and torn a car door out 1 time all time maybe a scar ore bruse but all good and I'm like WHY!!!

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

Sometimes yes sometimes no. Right now it's pointing to yes to stay for now

 

[Taraxias]

I am getting signs that it want me to be so desperate with my disease always getting worse and no hope of cure that signs say to me i want you out of here

 

[KibblesNBits]

No. I've held onto false hope before and everything just got worse. I have to die.

 

[nighty_nite13]

I get the opposite. Every time I try to pull myself out and reach out, I get confirmation it's time to go. I have a business trip coming up a town over from where my supposed best friend lives. They're one of the ones I can always count on to support my dark humor and they understand my depression. They made an excuse why they wouldn't be available but gave the wrong dates. When I mentioned it they started sounding like they were digging for an excuse why they couldn't see me. It was a punch to the gut yet-again-no-one-prioritizes-me type of moment.

Last year when I was picking up my last meal before my attempt, at the time I'd been begging for a sign from the universe that it wasn't my time. I mentioned to someone I liked their glasses and they just frowned at me and walked away.

Again I've been begging the universe and I find myself surrounded by shitty people with not enough motivation to continue fighting to stay here.

 

[ringo99]

Nah I'm done waiting for signs. Ready to go as long as it's painless

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Nope. The contrary. Tons of signs to die, and none that point to me being redeemable.

 

[unnormal9]

See my banner? That sign already died. No.

 

[Jezzibell]

No. Every sign gives me more problems and more reasons. I cannot wait to shuffle off this mortal coul.

 

[brokeandbroken]

It depends. I've been shown there's a lot of support in the community by mental health professional... That said I can't rely on them forever and I'm a burden. Frankly I feel a little like I'm on life support and it may be time to pull the plug. Then again there's some part of me curious if I can make it. At this point I think the only thing that may keep me alive is some extraordinary luck. The answer to the question though is no. I haven't gotten any sign. Considering the multitude of prayers I've prayed I think the lack of sign is in of itself a sign. Just not the one you are asking about.