Anyone else get satisfaction from goodbye threads?

[rozeske]

No not satisfaction in any way. Their courage and final calmness helps me ease my nervousness and gives me hope that i too can catch that bus but at the same time I feel saddened for their pain that led them to that point and I envy them for their courage as it is not an easy act. I envy them as they are now free and at peace.

 

[nembutal]

no weirdo

 

[bramblebamblebambe]

I imagine what they might be feeling, the overwhelm of different kinds of emotions, feeling alone and misunderstood, fear of it not working, fear of being found, fear of it being painful, fear of SI, feeling desperate for peace, feeling sadness and guilt for the ones they leave behind, feeling angry and resentment towards people or events that caused suffering,

I imagine the pain they feel in their body, their mind and deep in the soul, and I imagine and wish them determination,
and everything going smoothly for finding peace and ending their suffering. I think how much I don't want them to suffer anymore and am so sorry life has been this cruel to them.

I say a little prayer, that they have all they need to reach peace, in the least painful way, that they have the strength, the courage, steady hands, whatever they need. I hope by talking on here it helps relieve some nerves and feelings or loneliness, they feel understood, respected and not so worthless.

Although I feel relief when they are free, of it is bittersweet, since I never wanted them to have the life that lead them to this point, but am grateful if they are no longer suffering.

 

[boddibo]

No, because it always feels like a tragedy when someone has to take their own life, whatever their reasons. I won't even talk about the threads in which they're describing when it goes wrong during the process and you just can't do anything for them, those are heartbreaking.

 

[haibane]

Not at all, even tho im happy for them cause (i hope) they reached complete peacefulness. When i see a goodbye post, even when i don't really know the person im always a bit sad for them. That they had to get through so much to get there.
But tbh, i find that getting fun out of those kind of post is really disrespectful. Making a goodbyes post is already hard enough, so knowing that some people will have fun out of it doesn't help at all imo.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

No. It's always sad when someone has to end their life bc of unsolvable problems that lead to the decision to CTB. I hope they all have found peace.

 

[Unknown21]

Like...I mean the threads where they take SN and you can see there typing is all messed up and there basically here with us till they pass out/ go unconscious. I personally get so much gratification from reading those threads. They're really exciting and it's nice to know they got out I guess. Maybe it's because it gives me hope that it's achievable and I could perhaps go out in the same way if I chose to. Anyone else feel like this? I talked about it in chat the other day and we came to various conclusions of why I would feel that way. Maybe it's because they finally achieved what I'm trying to?

I feel the same way, it's so much relief me when i read these goodbye threads, they make me feel it's achievable and make me forget about falling and the other stuff I'm terrified of.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Like...I mean the threads where they take SN and you can see there typing is all messed up and there basically here with us till they pass out/ go unconscious. I personally get so much gratification from reading those threads. They're really exciting and it's nice to know they got out I guess. Maybe it's because it gives me hope that it's achievable and I could perhaps go out in the same way if I chose to. Anyone else feel like this? I talked about it in chat the other day and we came to various conclusions of why I would feel that way. Maybe it's because they finally achieved what I'm trying to?

No, because most of people have to overcome their own survival instinct to complete the act, even after posting their goodbye threads. Personally I'm so desensitized to sadness, so watching a goodbye thread doesn't take a heavy toll on me, but I want to make their journey a bit less unbearable, so I wish them peaceful transition.

And more importantly, some people don't complete the attempt. I think they need extra care, because hopelessness can be a pure torture for them. I closely watch their goodbye thread after they stopped their attempts and try to respond, whenever I can.
I don't want this forum to look like a death cult, too.

I sometimes feel like it's achievable when I see goodbye threads, but I know I have powerful survival instinct, so basically I'm trapped in this world, like many people.

 

[Andrew10]

I think I know what you're trying to say but you expressed yourself in a very confusing way (it's normal, it's something very difficult to understand)

I'm going to try to explain it from my perspective:

I think the feeling you're trying to describe is that it gives you conformity thinking that you are also going to be one more, you were hurt so much to the point that you see all of us as prisoners in this horrible cell you have a terrible perspective of what this world is and every time you see someone say goodbye to this world you feel an innocent soul is finally free and that generates hope in you that you will also reach that goal of being free. You don't feel satisfaction, but rather a kind of conformity, knowing that another is gone and that can cause more courage taking more steps to your bus.

While one feels sadness when seeing these types of threads, each person's desperation is different and for others they are happy to see a soul finally at peace and achieve more courage for their turn, generating a shield of temporary conformity surrounded by suffering and sadness.

If that is what you really feel, then it is not satisfaction for someone's death, it's joy that someone has peace and motivation to gain the courage to catch your bus. (and that's fine, one can think that way because of the extreme desperation one has to leave this world due to the damage received.)

You just chose the wrong words to express yourself.

I send you a huge hug from a distance and much happiness whatever your path may be.

Peace

 

[Appletree]

Like...I mean the threads where they take SN and you can see there typing is all messed up and there basically here with us till they pass out/ go unconscious. I personally get so much gratification from reading those threads. They're really exciting and it's nice to know they got out I guess. Maybe it's because it gives me hope that it's achievable and I could perhaps go out in the same way if I chose to. Anyone else feel like this? I talked about it in chat the other day and we came to various conclusions of why I would feel that way. Maybe it's because they finally achieved what I'm trying to?

I have kind of similiar feelings like you. Not that I am happy about their decision, but given the thread is real, I really admire their courage to do it. Hopefully I will find soon similar strength and determinanten to fight my cowardliness.

 

[TheDog_]

I don't really get satisfaction but knowing people are able to kill themselves gives me hope that I'll be able to complete too. I don't view death as sad because I prefer it over being alive so I don't really view it as a tragedy though it does make me sad when things go wrong or if the attempt fails because that's really stressful and traumatic

 

[Kasumi]

The way your title reads is a bit worrying, reading on through your post I understand where you're coming from and I understand why you feel that way, but it may very well cause some misunderstandings.
Just saying.

As for me, I feel a strange mix of sadness and peace while I try to smile at the same time.
It makes me incredibly sad to see people go that deserved so much better than the world and other people did to them.
But I also know that they made this decision cause with all the downsides of dying (losing your loved ones, etc) they were suffering so much that death was still preferable.
That's why I feel at peace for them, knowing that no matter how sad I feel right now, for them it's good thing, they are finally free and don't have to suffer anymore.

And lastly I try to smile because I know they aren't sad, it's only us who are staying back who are sad, but they are at a better place, and they'd want us to be happy for them instead of being sad, that's why I try to "send them off with a smile".