Venting Anyone else feels terrified about their CTB method

[tooafraidtodiez]

Posting this as I can't sleep. So I've decided on my method and it's going to be SN. And i don't know if i can pull it off properly hopefully I can despite all this, because I'm already so nervous and felt sick just by thinking about the final day. I've had many conditions that make me believe that CTB will be the best option for me. And due to that this haunting feeling of I can't backout is eating me alive, I can't sleep properly, I don't really want to do anything, I even felt a mild headache. I'm terrified of ingesting a chemical and what will happen afterward but i'm also terrified of my life circumstances. I've only got limited option and SN is the less painful one. Has anyone else also felt like this or maybe you've managed to overcome the fear of your chosen method? I remembered during my first attempt i felt less nervous and had no trouble sleeping, even though it can be more painful than SN.

 

[violetforever]

what was ur first attempts method? are u afraid of surviving SN or the side effects that will happen before it kills u? i hope u can get some rest soon

 

[MyMomWasMyLife]

Posting this as I can't sleep. So I've decided on my method and it's going to be SN. And i don't know if i can pull it off properly hopefully I can despite all this, because I'm already so nervous and felt sick just by thinking about the final day. I've had many conditions that make me believe that CTB will be the best option for me. And due to that this haunting feeling of I can't backout is eating me alive, I can't sleep properly, I don't really want to do anything, I even felt a mild headache. I'm terrified of ingesting a chemical and what will happen afterward but i'm also terrified of my life circumstances. I've only got limited option and SN is the less painful one. Has anyone else also felt like this or maybe you've managed to overcome the fear of your chosen method? I remembered during my first attempt i felt less nervous and had no trouble sleeping, even though it can be more painful than SN.

I'm terrified of all methods. I wish so goddamn bad that doctor assisted suicide was available. Then I wouldn't be scared at all because I know it would be done the right way. Just lay down and go to sleep. I wish so bad.

 

[Bishop]

I'm terrified of all methods. I wish so goddamn bad that doctor assisted suicide was available. Then I wouldn't be scared at all because I know it would be done the right way. Just lay down and go to sleep. I wish so bad.

Such is the nature of survival instinct.

 

[peacebenow]

I think this is normal.

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

Humans are built to thrive and survive, it's normal to fear that, it's unnatural to ctb. Survival is embedded in our ancient reptillian brain.

 

[tooafraidtodiez]

what was ur first attempts method? are u afraid of surviving SN or the side effects that will happen before it kills u? i hope u can get some rest soon

Drowning. Unfortunately the water is too shallow

 

[fyer]

Posting this as I can't sleep. So I've decided on my method and it's going to be SN. And i don't know if i can pull it off properly hopefully I can despite all this, because I'm already so nervous and felt sick just by thinking about the final day. I've had many conditions that make me believe that CTB will be the best option for me. And due to that this haunting feeling of I can't backout is eating me alive, I can't sleep properly, I don't really want to do anything, I even felt a mild headache. I'm terrified of ingesting a chemical and what will happen afterward but i'm also terrified of my life circumstances. I've only got limited option and SN is the less painful one. Has anyone else also felt like this or maybe you've managed to overcome the fear of your chosen method? I remembered during my first attempt i felt less nervous and had no trouble sleeping, even though it can be more painful than SN.

i think, let's say more, i know its natural. there is not and there were not a single person who commited without fear. my situation also seems very unsalvable, i cam't deal with ongoing, intensive physical pain and i dont think there is a better solution for me. if there's not intensinve suffocating, i am in.