Anyone else feels like things will never change, it will only get worst

[Selkie]

I feel like things will never get better. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, just darkness. And I keep making plans for the future but I don't know how i can accomplish them. Everything seems hopeless and I just really wish it was easy to just let go. Everything i had is gone and I won't get any of it back and there is no one I can talk to. I recently moved and I haven't made any friends, work is okay but that's about it. I miss my old life and I wanna go back to that. I want to go back to my home country but I don't feel like I belong there anymore and I know things won't be the same and I know for sure I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere.
Sorry for any grammatical errors, on mobile.

 

[Darkover]

life always gets worse the longer it goes on until inevitable death sets in

 

[Oublivien]

I've failed at everything, dw I feel the same way
everything is slowly becoming worse and worse
I can't even sleep anymore, I don't recover in my sleep anymore

 

[Cloud Busting]

I let go of having a plan for the future. I don't know where I'm going to end up, or what the future holds. I take things day by day. That makes it easier.

What was your old life?

I remember I was very happy as a child. That I was happy once means I can achieve that state again, right? Or does it mean life always gets worse, thus the loss of happiness was inevitable?

Life is always changing. Things are never the same. It's normal to mourn and grieve a loss, but new things always spring up, and often the loss is worth it to me because I'd be a better person to have experienced the things I'll never get back than to not have experienced them just to avoid the pain of loss.

I refer back to activists when I feel hopeless. Imagine if the suffragettes, the queers of stonewall, or the leaders of the civil rights movement gave up. They fought and fought, and people continue to fight. Life is a fucking struggle to be won. People in power want you to be defeated. I won't let them win, even if I wanted to in the past.

 

[NonEssential]

I moved to a different country too like a decade ago and I've yet to make a single friend here. Maybe I haven't tried enough, but whatever.
Also, a pretty big reason why I want to ctb is due to despair regarding my future.

 

[Sleeper System]

It's always a good idea to have plans. Taking things one day at a time doesn't mean have no plan. It means take your time working up to your goals. Not just leaving things to chance.

Many of us here mourn for the lives we had or the good old days where we weren't how we are now but time stops for no one. Those times were never meant to last. It's a fools path to only seek happiness in life. It leads to complacency and stagnation and no advancement.

Sometimes I think it might be better to be a clueless air head fumbling through existence. Knowledge and thought feel like a curse. but it's also scary to not have understanding. Idk.

Belonging is something I felt as a kid. As an adult I couldn't care less about fitting in. Humans are desperate for individuality but fundamentally we are all the same no matter how much we deviate from society.

Focus on getting money. More options start to appear as you gain more. Freedom is not free as they say.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I feel like things will never get better. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, just darkness. And I keep making plans for the future but I don't know how i can accomplish them. Everything seems hopeless and I just really wish it was easy to just let go. Everything i had is gone and I won't get any of it back and there is no one I can talk to. I recently moved and I haven't made any friends, work is okay but that's about it. I miss my old life and I wanna go back to that. I want to go back to my home country but I don't feel like I belong there anymore and I know things won't be the same and I know for sure I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere.
Sorry for any grammatical errors, on mobile.

To be honest yes. It feels like ive been outcasted from society end of story. I had a tragic and terrible and vile things happen to me in medical school/being illegally forced out/victim of crimes like done against me. It shouldn't have commenced the closing of my coffin. I should've gotten help or at least opportunities in life to remake myself. Instead ive been just treated like shit in the US since I've gotten back. Just outcasted. No opportunities nothing. Literally not even for minimum wage jobs. To be honest it reinforced how little I understand people and how vile humans are. It's the abuse that's the worst. Having the only opportunity I had stolen, having subsequent ones withheld, and then being mocked because I'm homeless as a result. Like oh he'll figure it out he's smart jeeringly. Figure what out? The lack of opportunities? I've probably filled out more job applications in the last year then most will in their entire life. I dont know how it isnt discrimination. You'd think I'd just luck into a job that I'm over qualified for at some point.

It's like everyone going oh he's white and autistic fuck him let him die. But I don't want it on conscious so make him kill himself in hiding in the most undignified way. Least have the decency to kill me if you are going to let my life be robbed from me and not give me any fucking opportunities. Ive literally had pedophiles treated better then me.

 

[Cloud Busting]

It's always a good idea to have plans. Taking things one day at a time doesn't mean have no plan. It means take your time working up to your goals. Not just leaving things to chance.

My problem is that when my goals become unattainable, I become crushed, devastated, and hopeless even. I'll feel like a failure typically. This is why I gave up on planning for the future. It's easier for me to just make daily goals, or to focus on the inevitable, than some grand future hope that is not necessarily for my livelihood. It prevents disappointment.

This could be an extension of my nihilism and/or depression of course. I've read that depression is the inability to devise a future for oneself. I dunno if this is objectively true or if it's been proven, but it's the case for me. My solution thus far has been to just leave things to chance and only focus on the readily apparent, thought that may be naive or mistaken. I'm open to a counter perspective if you have one.

Many of us here mourn for the lives we had or the good old days where we weren't how we are now but time stops for no one. Those times were never meant to last. It's a fools path to only seek happiness in life. It leads to complacency and stagnation and no advancement.

Well said. What is it we should seek- oh wise one- to avoid a fools path?

Sometimes I think it might be better to be a clueless air head fumbling through existence. Knowledge and thought feel like a curse. but it's also scary to not have understanding. Idk.

I agree. What's helped me is to accept that we don't know much, and to see that as a sort of spiritual thing. It leads to wonder and for me, a profound respect of the universe, because it's so much grander than us, which means there's so much within it we've yet to discover. Our lack of knowledge leads to much possibility.

Focus on getting money. More options start to appear as you gain more. Freedom is not free as they say.

Money doesn't buy happiness, so they say. To the contrary, studies suggest that people are happier at higher income brackets as income makes health and well-being more accessible and affordable.

Even then, money still has its limitations. There was an episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog about an unhappy scientist who was rewarded billions for his unhappy canonball project. When the money failed to make him happy, he refused to agree upon the deal he negotiated with the government and contributed to release his unhappy canons onto the entire town. As he said, "If I can't be happy, no one will!"

Sure, it's a silly cartoon for children. I still find it interesting. However, I was eight when I saw it. That's probably why. Lol

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes and personally I'd prefer to not exist no matter what than suffer all for the sake of it in this existence just to decay and die anyway, what terrifies me is how a human can suffer for so long with no limit as to how much agony they can feel just to be tortured by old age, I always have so much dread for what lies ahead and I'll always find it so dreadful to exist, it's suffering that only non-existence can take away for me. All I could ever hope for is the peace of an eternal dreamless sleep where I finally forget about this existence, I'll personally always see existence as an terrible tragic mistake that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for, it's all just so cruel to me and there's just so much cruelty in existing, I'd never wish to be burdened with this existence and more than anything I wish I never existed, for me non-existence is all that's positive and is all I could hope for.

 

[lastch]

I'm terrified of the future. My old life is gone. I didn't appreciate what I had when I had it. I have no one to talk to. I don't have the courage to ctb.

 

[DivineSpark]

I feel like my torment has been intensified for last two years.

 

[Yume Nikki]

Yes, I feel like my life is in limbo, Not knowing what comes next but being aware enough to acknowledge that it will get worse regardless. A part of me wishes I could go back to 2023 where I still had online friends that didn't ghost me a year later without an explanation, a time where I didn't cry over an ex that left me, or just being more invested into jobs and hobbies rather then people that didn't care about me. I thought things would get better into adulthood, but my mental illnesses and disabilities have only made it unbearable. I don't see myself living past my 20's, in fact, I'm just hoping an early death will come for me naturally since ctbing is hard to achieve due to SI.

 

[onmywaytothebusstop]

I feel like people want to make you believe that things will get better but imho it's such a lie. When at times something gets better, it's often out of pure luck and has nothing to do with the people that say things will get better and they're 100% out of their controll.

Life is fucked.
Society is fucked.
Everything is fucked.

I feel like all what people and society wants to do is put a bandaid on a body that has been stabbed 100x.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Yes. I don't feel like things will ever improve.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Why that happens is called entropy. Things can only go in that direction. It's why you get older and not younger, too.