Anyone else feels like they're being forced to ctb?

[sadbadpsychogirl]

My story is that I have been abused and neglected by certain family members. Mainly my sister and mother, my sister thinks she can inherit my larger share of the house if I commit suicide. I've been told since the age of 15 to commit Suicide and that I'm worthless freak burden on them. The abuse didn't take it's a couple of years and I'm now in my mid 20s. Whole heartedly I don't wanna but the thing is I don't wanna be trapped in this abusive cycle of pain. My mental health team barely even do their job fight, it's constant struggle because I'm self destructive and it's all I've ever know

i'm so sorry you have had to deal with all that. i know its hard but try not to let them get to you. other people don't dictate your worth. you seem like a great person and someday some good people will realize that.

 

[Brokensaddle]

Thanks but I'm actively researching how I can possibly end it all. I'm without a care coordinator or social worker until January at the best and possible longer. I got put under section 136 twice by the police because a friend called them on me and I told mental health team at the place of safety that I'm not receiving enough support and that I'm planning on committing suicide and they still let me go. I have failed to hang myself recently and I'm begging anyone who reading this please send me some resources for me to successfully end my pain and suffering. I would ideally like to die by overdose but I'm to give hanging another go. I'm miserable and in suffering in pain and they still haven't supported me so what else I can possibly do, I have tried my best to get help and they don't care. Nobody going to miss me when I'm gone

 

[Mixo]

Although it's ultimately my decision, I am definitely being pushed to leave by factors out of my control. I am going to be out on the street pretty soon, have no family/friends, and I'm debilitatingly ill. I went through something like this about a year and a half ago on my own and everyday was physical and mental torture. I'd rather die than go through that again so I'm going to put myself down as soon as I reach my final destination.

 

[Meditation guide]

I have had some amazing vacations alone. I have gone to some gorgeous resorts alone and had a relaxing memorable time. I rented a large boat by myself and motored around a tropical bay alone. I was terrified but I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. Being with someone else wouldn't have been the same.

I've had times by myself that were exhilarating, lonely feeling yes, but more like proof I can do anything without help. This sounds weird, but I've had some almost science fiction experiences while traveling alone, things that were not believable if I tried to describe them.

My natural end is near and I'm forced to choose between an absolutely gruesome end by natural diseases, and ctb. And I'm a big coward.

 

[TheQ22]

I have had some amazing vacations alone. I have gone to some gorgeous resorts alone and had a relaxing memorable time. I rented a large boat by myself and motored around a tropical bay alone. I was terrified but I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. Being with someone else wouldn't have been the same.

I've had times by myself that were exhilarating, lonely feeling yes, but more like proof I can do anything without help. This sounds weird, but I've had some almost science fiction experiences while traveling alone, things that were not believable if I tried to describe them.

Go on describe some, we need cheering up.

 

[TheQ22]

Sounds horrible :(

 

[Conker]

The singularity is going to be insanity. That's what they want eternal slaves. Singularity is around the corner. The pressure is on this life time to break free and escape from the matrix. Cause there might never be another chance.

We've always been free to leave this place, it's just that the walls are a very potent illusion. Time goes by like a DVD stuck on repeat, there's always gonna be 1 window opening to escape through per each repeated cycle. Right now we're in that window opening, when the illusion is at its weakest. I recommend you to read the Ribhu Gita to further expand your mind.

This Twitter account basically guides you through a reading of the book & adds more depth as well. This isn't the solution I would've preferred, nevertheless it's infinitely better than coming back here just to begin anew in mystery & misery. I wish there was a tangible reality for us to blossom & heal within where everything is clear.

https://twitter.com/KYOTA47153971