I mean after all, suicide is self care and is the only true solution to solving what the true problem is, which is life in itself. I very strongly believe that we just cease to exist after this which is something that I consider to be incredibly ideal. Nobody can be harmed by death as life is the source of all harm, so while I do see not existing as being something beautiful, to me there could never be any peace to be found as long as I exist here.
To me peace only exists in the absence of everything and there is no relief from suffering in this world. I just want to be gone and not have to go through any ctb process, as in this world a reliable and peaceful suicide is something that is purposely so inaccessible and complicated.