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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,165
Kinda. The thing is I've always felt different from the rest of the ordinary human beings.
"Study, work, have children, buy a house and die as an old grey man"
That's too basic and boring for me. I prefer being the weird guy and experiencing rare stuff during this short life.
 
Kramer

Kramer

Nervous wreck
Oct 27, 2020
1,399
not much to add, but yes
to be fair, when i look in the mirror i dont think i look like someone who'd ctb, but guess nobody does
Oh many have the look. The chronically depressed who don't hide it, those who wear baggy clothes to make them "invisible", etc.
Kinda. The thing is I've always felt different from the rest of the ordinary human beings.
"Study, work, have children, buy a house and die as an old grey man"
That's too basic and boring for me. I prefer being the weird guy and experiencing rare stuff during this short life.
Is that you in your pic?
 
hoping to lose hope

hoping to lose hope

<3 Message me to trade music <3
Nov 14, 2020
849
Everyone kills themselves I am certain that if we were immortal suicide would be done by everyone.
I do not feel strange for the reason you mentioned though just freaking out over death.
 
W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,165
You look normal and like people I've seen


Oh those are just my outer looks. I'm weird in any other sense such as hobbies, being a neet, otaku, learning japanese, hating human beings for being "basic" for the reasons I said above and so on.

I don't want to work my ass of until I die neither have children, only those two things make me atypical lol
 
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hoping to lose hope

hoping to lose hope

<3 Message me to trade music <3
Nov 14, 2020
849
I kinda feel the same people know I'm suicidal and everyone thinks I'm recovering but some how everytime I look in the mirror I dont think I would ever kms I dont look like that kinda girl I look like I should be stable and fine but um not I a mess I'm a wreck and I want to die
Who we are has little to do with what we look like notthat you cannot draw some conclusions from peoples looks that are likely true.
Try not to judge yourself too much for not looking like a mess.
A lot of peoplestruggle that do not fit the stereotype of looking like it.
 
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Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,240
I definitely look like the kind of retard that has no life and is destined to kill himself so nah don't feel that weird ngl
 
PNKPNDA

PNKPNDA

Member
Mar 8, 2020
70
I don't want to work my ass of until I die neither have children, only those two things make me atypical lol

yeah i dont wanna work til i die either it really is just an endless cycle lol as much as i want kids i worry i will pass my shitty brain genetics onto them and i would hate to have something that has come from me to feel as shit as I do about life u kno
 
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I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
Looking at pictures of people who died by suicide is comforting because they look like people you see every day. But normally I feel strange when I'm planning out my death.
Yes, but I have no choice
 
M

MrBigSad

Experienced
Sep 30, 2020
209
One of my friends died of heroine overdose. I'll never know if it was intentional or not. Yeah he was a beggar. He'd been pure scum of the earth in most folks eyes but I always felt like he had a good heart. I'll never know for sure now. Life is long. Cold and harsh, they say "you won't know till you've tried" but we've tried all our lives.

They say it'll get better when it doesn't.

I hope he went peacefully anyway.

When you break it down statistically you've probably walked past literally hundreds of people that will commit suicide but you won't know. Because their problems aren't yours after all.
 
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F

foxdie

Got my ticket
Aug 18, 2020
1,011
I've always felt weird so I guess being suicidal hasn't changed my self perception much.
 
bov

bov

Arcanist
Aug 26, 2020
405
Sometimes I wonder what suicidality in the absence of unhappiness would mean: intense curiosity about the other side? Craving an end to the suspense of how life ends?
 
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M

MrBigSad

Experienced
Sep 30, 2020
209
Sometimes I wonder what suicidality in the absence of unhappiness would mean: intense curiosity about the other side? Craving an end to the suspense of how life ends?

When my therapist asked my why I had suicidal thoughts it felt a little embarrassing to explain that this is a good portion why. Like 30% hate life but also 70% is there something after this? I want want to find out.

Curiosity killed the cat ;)
 
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waterstrider

waterstrider

cold
Nov 29, 2020
400
I think those people who actually go through with ctb (because nobody notices beforehand) are always those who blend in the most.
I am happy not to be the most noticeable person and therefore I'm often overlooked. Neither friends nor family suspect me being suicidal and thus I don't get treated like a criminal but like a "normal" part of society.
 
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AltFoxx

AltFoxx

Member
Nov 27, 2020
42
Feeling suicidal half the times feels more rational than anything so I can't say it's that strange
 
S

SirChuxAlot

Member
Jan 16, 2019
63
Weird, no, embaressed yes, only because I haven't gone through with CTBing yet. I continue to try to give myself a validation for living but really there isn't one and realize I continue to lie myself that things will get better.
 

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