Anyone else feel like this site is kinda toxic?

[Stavrogin]

I don't feel, I know.

 

[lostangel]

Toxic as in were all validating our negative emotions? well yes.

But there is so much support and people who will talk to you and help you get through stuff. I'm grateful this place exists. It is the only place where you can talk about suicide without judgement. You don't even have to commit suicide.

If you want to recover it would be best to avoid this site.

 

[Mr2005]

I know you said it to him but could you elaborate, sir?

It's probably been said already but I'm too lazy to read it all. It's a spiral of negativity. Wanting others to be miserable so they aren't alone. We're all strangers here that's why we can talk openly because no one cares. Until you hurt their feelings then they care. About them. That freedom allows for more honesty but only in theory. In reality it allows for more bullshit and manipulation. Also every group needs a common enemy, in this case pro lifers. Something to hate gives a false sense of friendship, toxic in itself but then you have the hypocrisy of people thinking they can speak for everyone saying nothings ever going to improve on top of that. It's the same thing only worse. They don't really know so I hope they're not taken seriously

 

[TotallyIsolated]

It's probably been said already but I'm too lazy to read it all. It's a spiral of negativity. Wanting others to be miserable so they aren't alone. We're all strangers here that's why we can talk openly because no one cares. Until you hurt their feelings then they care. About them. That freedom allows for more honesty but only in theory. In reality it allows for more bullshit and manipulation. Also every group needs a common enemy, in this case pro lifers. Something to hate gives a false sense of friendship, toxic in itself but then you have the hypocrisy of people thinking they can speak for everyone saying nothings ever going to improve on top of that. It's the same thing only worse. They don't really know so I hope they're not taken seriously

Frankly, I resent this attitude. Who comes to a pro-suicide forum to paint on a smile and pretend that life is wonderful? Most of us have nowhere else to turn, and no other way to express ourselves.

People have the right to acknowledge what a horrible place the world is. They have the right to be angry, or upset, or to despair.

I know that there are many things that might lead to a person wanting to CTB, and that not all of those people suffer from depression or other mental illnesses. People dont start thinking suicidal thoughts if they're life has been going great, though. Many of the users here have lived through trauma and abuse.

Sharing in negativity doesn't mean that one is a negative person. I'm honestly shocked at how cruel a sentiment you've posted here, labeling people 'miserable' just for talking about their experiences.

 

[Mr2005]

Frankly, I resent this attitude. Who comes to a pro-suicide forum to paint on a smile and pretend that life is wonderful? Most of us have nowhere else to turn, and no other way to express ourselves.

People have the right to acknowledge what a horrible place the world is. They have the right to be angry, or upset, or to despair.

I know that there are many things that might lead to a person wanting to CTB, and that not all of those people suffer from depression or other mental illnesses. People dont start thinking suicidal thoughts if they're life has been going great, though. Many of the users here have lived through trauma and abuse.

Sharing in negativity doesn't mean that one is a negative person. I'm honestly shocked at how cruel a sentiment you've posted here, labeling people 'miserable' just for talking about their experiences.

You're allowed to. In my defence I was just elaborating because someone asked me to

 

[TotallyIsolated]

You're allowed to. In my defence I was just elaborating because someone asked me to

I'm not saying there aren't *any* users here who engage in bad faith or who just want to lash out, and I do see how negative feelings get amplified here, but come on dude the real problem is that people CANT say these things in real life, or even on other forums or social media. They'll see see it differently when they're ready.

Im sorry I picked on you specifically.

 

[Ipassbutter]

It depends on what you contribute or ask. If I have a question then it's appropriate for someone to answer and for me to respect that answer and opinion.
However if I share an experience, it can become toxic for me if it is met with judgment, invalidation, or someone trying to 'convince' me of something. I'm not here to be challenged - this isn't a high school debate club. But lots of forums on the internet are like that.
I see this place as to share and learn from others experiences. I like reading about others experiences.

 

[JD8080]

You have the option to leave if you feel it's toxic here

 

[raindrops]

It's not toxic at all, facebook, insta and all that crap is toxic.
This site has stopped me from ctb many times, I've been able get the information I need and it is up to me how I use that info.

Some days I'm ready to ctb and other days I feel I can carry on. It's weird this site has given me comfort, kinda like a big hug! I could say I'm going to ctb right now and people here would be supportive when there's no one around to support you.

All I see here is people supporting each other in their worst moments! Caring, comforting, understanding and never encouraging someone to ctb!

It's all love and I thank the person who has made this place it is pro-choice and that's not toxic!
Freedom of speech is important that's why I'm happy 4chan exists too

 

[got2beFionaC]

This is not toxic. It's a support system for some who may have no support. What is toxic is when people respond to someone who is feeling suicidal with "oh it will get better-tomorrow is a new day-your problems aren't that bad-people have it worse-etc".
There's no harder in this world. There is only hard. Everyone has a different level of what they perceive as hard. If where you can feel support is on a forum for like minded people, then that's a positive. Besides, i'm sure if we were to express ourselves in real life, we'd all be committed.
Maybe if you feel as though it is toxic, you should take a break. That might mean you don't belong on the forum for this point in time. ‍ Just a thought.

 

[MeriDeath]

Listen now, it is all a matter of perspective. Some people here are willing to die but I know somewhere in their hearts there is still a little hope and whenever they go on this site all they see is posts about grief and sorrow, and that might make their depression worse, unless they are used to it, but of course there's the other group of people who have been through everything and are certain they gonna CTB so it doesn't really bother them, all the contrary they offer you help because they've accepted their fate already. And I can go on and on about this. But to sum up, I would say if you think it's toxic, and you feel the site is more harmful than helping, one needs to get out. Sure, I get sad when I see someone is about to CTB but it doesn't matter to me because personally I know I don't have any hope left and it's ok to feel a sudden sadness due to this because overall let's admit here, we are all human and we still have feeling whether we are dead alive or just dead inside. So if you love being around people in your last moments of life it shouldn't be a problem.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

It's probably been said already but I'm too lazy to read it all. It's a spiral of negativity. Wanting others to be miserable so they aren't alone. We're all strangers here that's why we can talk openly because no one cares. Until you hurt their feelings then they care. About them. That freedom allows for more honesty but only in theory. In reality it allows for more bullshit and manipulation. Also every group needs a common enemy, in this case pro lifers. Something to hate gives a false sense of friendship, toxic in itself but then you have the hypocrisy of people thinking they can speak for everyone saying nothings ever going to improve on top of that. It's the same thing only worse. They don't really know so I hope they're not taken seriously

I don't fully agree but a lot of this is on point. For starters the anonymous community of strangers logic falls apart because when people talk to other people bonds and resentment can form. Even in a space like this manipulation, drama, validation and such have effects, which takes it away from being an open space where it doesn't matter what people think of you. On top of that the pro life enemy barely exists. Pro life isn't an established mindset, it's the result of the complex individual emotions of various people trying to cope with the suicide of their loved ones.

 

[Mr2005]

I don't fully agree but a lot of this is on point. For starters the anonymous community of strangers logic falls apart because when people talk to other people bonds and resentment can form. Even in a space like this manipulation, drama, validation and such have effects, which takes it away from being an open space where it doesn't matter what people think of you. On top of that the pro life enemy barely exists. Pro life isn't an established mindset, it's the result of the complex individual emotions of various people trying to cope with the suicide of their loved ones.

I don't think everyone even agrees on what pro life is. My issue is insincerity in whatever form it takes.

 

[4eyebiped]

Some, not all, is a perspective issue. Once again, I said some.

A good intent individual can respond to a post. One person will think it is good positive advice, another will be neutral towards it, another person may be triggered because of the wording or phrasing and the last person may assume the advice is horrible or misinterprets it to be condescending. The problem is the high variability of personalities in us humans. One good intended message will ring differently to each individual ear, regardless of its intent. This really can't be helped, sadly. But, it can be acknowledge and realized and perhaps people will take pause and ask questions.

 

[Mr2005]

Some, not all, is a perspective issue. Once again, I said some.

A good intent individual can respond to a post. One person will think it is good positive advice, another will be neutral towards it, another person may be triggered because of the wording or phrasing and the last person may assume the advice is horrible or misinterprets it to be condescending. The problem is the high variability of personalities in us humans. One good intended message will ring differently to each individual ear, regardless of its intent. This really can't be helped, sadly. But, it can be acknowledge and realized and perhaps people will take pause and ask questions.

Intent is everything

 

[GoBack]

Yes

 

[FireFox]

No
The people here listen to me and no one judges me

I like it here

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I don't think this forum is toxic. Not to try and sound rude, but I think "toxic" is an overused word which some people use to label anything that they don't agree with. I'm not saying this about you - it's just an example.

If something makes you uncomfortable that doesn't neccessarily mean it's toxic, and likewise just because something makes you feel happy that doesn't neccessarily make it "positive".

Suicide is one of those subjects that makes people uncomfortable, and it's totally normal to feel that way about it because it is not something that we talk or think about in our daily lives. It's often swept under the carpet and kept hush, and because of this we don't know how to deal with it. So when the topic eventually does surface most people squirm. In a community like Sanctioned Suicide there is no fear of being ostracized for opening up about dark thoughts. It gives people the freedom to open up about their problems which is refreshing. In fact there's quite a few people in this community who have decided to carry on living because they have received support from kind people here. Helping someone to alleviate their suffering, or convincing someone to not end their lives if they were not really ready, is one of the most positive things you can ever do.

What's truly toxic is expecting a person who is in a dark place to hide their feelings, and to essentially stop acting like a human being. It's probably 1 of the factors that contributes to people jumping off of bridges instead of getting help. It's a kind of fake happiness that you see on Instagram and Facebook that is what's toxic.

 

[soundsofsilence]

I don't think so.

To me this site offers wisdom and frankness never found in any other place.

Some of us may be at the end of our days or wishing that is the case, but we still draw comfort from what is said in here.

 

[Nohopeinhell]

You have the option to leave if you feel it's toxic here

I feel the person already has. Either that or a ban from mods.

 

[JD8080]

I hope so.. this is the one and only place I can say how I truly feel .

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I have been here over a year now, mostly a reader and not a big poster but I have seen changes in the community here ever so often. I feel very lucky for the genuine support and friendship I have received here. I have witnessed trolling or toxic behavior from time to time. Since it's the internet there will always be toxicity and trolls..they seem to come and go but as a whole during my time here I have seen more genuine care and support for those who need it. This is truly the only place we have to share our feelings with those who understand. I have even seen many here recover because of the support and friendship they received here.

 

[Grey-zone]

It's probably been said already but I'm too lazy to read it all. It's a spiral of negativity. Wanting others to be miserable so they aren't alone. We're all strangers here that's why we can talk openly because no one cares. Until you hurt their feelings then they care. About them. That freedom allows for more honesty but only in theory. In reality it allows for more bullshit and manipulation. Also every group needs a common enemy, in this case pro lifers. Something to hate gives a false sense of friendship, toxic in itself but then you have the hypocrisy of people thinking they can speak for everyone saying nothings ever going to improve on top of that. It's the same thing only worse. They don't really know so I hope they're not taken seriously

My big issue is the same as any forum: there are cliques of posters who, if one reacts negatively to a user's post, others jump in. There are a lot of angry, frustrated, lonely, and sensitive people here, so naturally some in-fighting and factionalism occurs along with emotional drama. That was the reason I left the forum the first time, but I still find it useful to drop in occasionally. The big benefit of this forum from what I've seen so far are the moderators--they seem to do a good job of staying neutral umpires, no easy feat with a site like this.

One person will think it is good positive advice, another will be neutral towards it, another person may be triggered because of the wording or phrasing and the last person may assume the advice is horrible or misinterprets it to be condescending. The problem is the high variability of personalities in us humans.

This describes probably 90+% of all the arguments on SS.

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

I think this site is great to help people not feel so alone. Make friends and not feel so lonely all the time. People can relate to each other which is hard to find else where.Understanding and empathy.

I'm fairly new here but it has been a positive experience.

 

[LookingOverTheEdge]

This is my first post. But I've lurked here for some time. My opinion, and it is only that, is it would be easy to view such a place as toxic. Perhaps in a way, a group of people who all feel beaten and broken by life coming together in one place, may not be the healthiest thing depending on your outlook.

For me however, it's anything but. From what I've seen so far, people here genuinely care. I've not seen, and believe it's against the rules, anybody trying to convince anyone to do something. And only a few instances of people trying to convince someone not to do something. What I see is people just giving a little empathy to others who probably need it more than they ever have. People understanding without judging. And that is a beautiful and rare thing. And I must say it's a strange kind of comfort to me to know that I'm not the only person on the edge. That it's not necessarily something shameful or wrong with me that I feel the way I do.

And finally, the resources and advice here, are invaluable. And I think it's sad that one has to look so hard to find them, rather than a slew of pro life messages that will mean nothing to them. People will end their lives, it's always happened and it always will. But to have the research to make an informed decision, rather than a hasty mistake that could leave you with serious complications for whatever time you have left? That's huge if you ask me. Apologies for the rant, but I feel that this forum would be so easy to misunderstand, but is honestly a place of good intention on a very difficult subject