Discussion Anyone else feel like the world has corrupted them?

[piratemaverick]

I used to be a people person, but people ruined it.

same i used to love the world.i was a completely different person 10 years ago. then depression and anxiety came from all my failures.then technology and social media ruined me from false personas . then sites like bestgore and deathaddict ruined me seeing how many evil people there are in the world. the news ruined me from all the negativity like school shootings mass murders, killings, gossip,drama from corrupt politics and greed. the fakeness of people everywhere. humans are parasites that consume everything. killing animals by the millions. global warming. pollution. wasting water and food by the millions of gallons and pounds. i hate the idea of money. like what is the point of working to be in debt and tired and sick all the time and then going into debt because of hospital bills to help me get better so i can work again. theres only one way out at this point.

 

[worldexploder]

Nature in of itself is currupt.

 

[zzz919]

@Misanthrope ...... You are a Fucking Brilliant author!!! ...... You could be the next Kurt Vonnegut ...... I have never read anything that mind blowing in an internet discussion forum ...... You understand society at least as good as Mark Twain ...... You need to find a publisher who knows how to market dark humor.

 

[zzz919]

 

[bigj75]

The once decent person I was, has certainly been corrupted into something so cynical and bitter I feel like somedays I grieve for who I once was. Compassion and rage have mutated into something entirely ugly.

As a person with mental health issues, I got involved with a non-partisan charity that focuses on advocating for the mentally ill. I wanted to help people avoid the pitfalls that had befallen me within an infantilising and sometimes abusive system, and make sure people were at least informed and given a voice. I loved the work, even though it was hard. It felt like putting out fires continually and running headlong into a brick wall of Kafkaesque bureaucracy that left my clients damaged. The hardship and horror just provoked my rage but I channelled it into a weapon against the scum that were harming the quality of life of my clients. I think that work took its toll on me and chipped away at any sense of justice or decency over time. I encountered awful nurses and doctors, bigots and cruel bureaucrats on power trips. I had to take constant breaks because my own mental health was getting damaged, stress was worsening the Bipolar.

It started to not feel good enough to put out fires when the napalm factory behind those fires still existed in the first place. I made a stupid decision that has corrupted me and left me this hateful suicidal thing that has come on these boards in the first place.

I got involved in the political sphere attempting to influence local policy and secure better for those in need. What a fucking nieve moron I was. Nothing has proven more soul destroying than entering that world. These same politicians were happy to pose with my clients while simultaneously voting to damage the very thing those clients needed most. Facts were meaningless in the face of pure bigotry, idiocy and the constant quest for 'efficiency savings'. The depths of sheer stupidity of conversations I was party to were honestly mind-boggling and mentally painful. I could write a book about these experiences but I don't see a point. It is absolutely terrifying to know these tribalists devoid of rationalism are steering a country. They are not all bad, but it is like realising you are in a speeding car, but instead of anyone being at the wheel you just have squabbling children arguing about the ideological merits of power steering and the placement of pedals. All the while that same vehicle is drifting off the road towards an oncoming bus full of special needs kids.

This work broke me. It made me sick to have to debate human decency and use economic reasoning to do it. Suffering seemed to be irrelevant. Trying to get them to grasp false economy more often than not failed. You would think it would be simple enough to grasp why you should not put minors in mixed adult psychiatric units… But I guess rape of a minor as a consequence is acceptable, certainly cheaper I guess, than funding more bed availability in suitable wards. I am so full of revulsion and disgust. I never understood the phrase ivory towers until getting an inside view.

I started going to work wishing I could maim these people and make them suffer into a state of humility. I wanted to show up with a flamethrower and burn these people alive. All the while loudly denying the damaging effects of fire. Because my own paid for personal think tank, with shares in various bakeries has statistics on how fire produces bread and thus staves off world hunger. Being against fire is like being against bread and all for starvation. Besides human experience is simply anecdotal, so those screams of burning politicians and their cronies are just scaremongering and have no statistical value on my decision to show up with a flamethrower or not. Even if you should trot out scientists and experts in the field of the damaging effects of fire I shall ignore them and proceed anyway because I believe I am right! So I am right, and being seen to be right is all that matters. Also if fire is so damaging, people need to take greater personal responsibility for themselves and not end up on fire in the first place. People are just so entitled these days expecting the fire service to come out at considerable expense to the hard done by taxpayer. No, I think it is only cost-effective to let them become cremated ash, which has nothing to do with fire. I think instead I will blame it on the lack of people purchasing shares in my bakeries…

I wanted to abduct the bureaucrats that denied my clients access to food because they did not meet certain criteria. Stick them in a room and let them starve a while then provide them with a convoluted form to fill out so they could request food. But provide them with no pen and the wrong form. Then eventually give them the right form and a crayon. Watch them fill it out with the crayon, then deny the request because they did not use a pen as stipulated on the form. When they get angry at me for providing the crayon in the first place, I will ignore that and tell them I shall deny their claim because they are being abusive. When they then ask for a pen I will give them a form to request a pen. Once they have completed that form. I will give them a pen, let them fill out the form for food. Then tell them they don't meet the criteria, as pens have recently been redefined as actually meaning crayons and since you filled out the form with a pen, which is not a crayon any more you will have to fill out another form with the correct writing implement.

I would ask them if those hunger pains are making this process more difficult and would they like any help navigating the system? Should they say yes, I will apologies and tell them due to funding cuts there is a six-month wait to receive the appropriate help as we are pretty backed up here. Which is a bit of a problem as it takes around forty days to die of starvation, but if you are dead you are at least not on our books. I will then provide them with the form and cheerfully inform them that the new form has been updated to better reflect the needs of our clients. I will point out several of the questions are now trick questions. If you fill it out in a certain way that seems logical to you. I will instead ridiculously infer from that you don't actually need food and use your own words as evidence against your claim. Good luck and have a nice day.


Unsurprisingly I quit after a breakdown as feeling enraged and nursing homicidal fantasies all the time was severely damaging. I am corrupted into a sense of having no hope for the future. With such bitter brooding cynicism. I feel like we are on course to all be eating sawdust while being told how nutritionally complete it is. Sorry for the lengthy diatribe.

 

[Johnnythefox]

From the first day you set foot across those school gates you belong to the system, your imagination will be destroyed and your previous individuality erased. You will be told what to think and what to believe, in my day it was even beaten into you! Get in line with everyone else, dress the same and repeat all at the same time.
This is how it will be for the next eleven years, or more if you choose.

Then you will be expected to go out and find a job which will slowly crush your soul as you are expected to kowtow to some idiotic boss. You will not be late, you will not get sick and you will do as they tell you.

When growing up my mother would say "you're just like your dad" obviously she was unaware of the seething hatred I had for him, to the point that I would think of ways to kill him!
I now find myself sitting in a chair all day every day as he once did, apart from when he was at work.
Divorce and all the other shite has turned me into a bitter, hateful bastard at times which I despise. I have helped many people out in the past without expecting anything in return.
As my ex said to me the last time we spoke as she tried to lure me back.
"you've changed, you're not the same sweet boy I fell in love with all those years ago"

 

[Johnnythefox]

The once decent person I was, has certainly been corrupted into something so cynical and bitter I feel like somedays I grieve for who I once was. Compassion and rage have mutated into something entirely ugly.

As a person with mental health issues, I got involved with a non-partisan charity that focuses on advocating for the mentally ill. I wanted to help people avoid the pitfalls that had befallen me within an infantilising and sometimes abusive system, and make sure people were at least informed and given a voice. I loved the work, even though it was hard. It felt like putting out fires continually and running headlong into a brick wall of Kafkaesque bureaucracy that left my clients damaged. The hardship and horror just provoked my rage but I channelled it into a weapon against the scum that were harming the quality of life of my clients. I think that work took its toll on me and chipped away at any sense of justice or decency over time. I encountered awful nurses and doctors, bigots and cruel bureaucrats on power trips. I had to take constant breaks because my own mental health was getting damaged, stress was worsening the Bipolar.

It started to not feel good enough to put out fires when the napalm factory behind those fires still existed in the first place. I made a stupid decision that has corrupted me and left me this hateful suicidal thing that has come on these boards in the first place.

I got involved in the political sphere attempting to influence local policy and secure better for those in need. What a fucking nieve moron I was. Nothing has proven more soul destroying than entering that world. These same politicians were happy to pose with my clients while simultaneously voting to damage the very thing those clients needed most. Facts were meaningless in the face of pure bigotry, idiocy and the constant quest for 'efficiency savings'. The depths of sheer stupidity of conversations I was party to were honestly mind-boggling and mentally painful. I could write a book about these experiences but I don't see a point. It is absolutely terrifying to know these tribalists devoid of rationalism are steering a country. They are not all bad, but it is like realising you are in a speeding car, but instead of anyone being at the wheel you just have squabbling children arguing about the ideological merits of power steering and the placement of pedals. All the while that same vehicle is drifting off the road towards an oncoming bus full of special needs kids.

This work broke me. It made me sick to have to debate human decency and use economic reasoning to do it. Suffering seemed to be irrelevant. Trying to get them to grasp false economy more often than not failed. You would think it would be simple enough to grasp why you should not put minors in mixed adult psychiatric units… But I guess rape of a minor as a consequence is acceptable, certainly cheaper I guess, than funding more bed availability in suitable wards. I am so full of revulsion and disgust. I never understood the phrase ivory towers until getting an inside view.

I started going to work wishing I could maim these people and make them suffer into a state of humility. I wanted to show up with a flamethrower and burn these people alive. All the while loudly denying the damaging effects of fire. Because my own paid for personal think tank, with shares in various bakeries has statistics on how fire produces bread and thus staves off world hunger. Being against fire is like being against bread and all for starvation. Besides human experience is simply anecdotal, so those screams of burning politicians and their cronies are just scaremongering and have no statistical value on my decision to show up with a flamethrower or not. Even if you should trot out scientists and experts in the field of the damaging effects of fire I shall ignore them and proceed anyway because I believe I am right! So I am right, and being seen to be right is all that matters. Also if fire is so damaging, people need to take greater personal responsibility for themselves and not end up on fire in the first place. People are just so entitled these days expecting the fire service to come out at considerable expense to the hard done by taxpayer. No, I think it is only cost-effective to let them become cremated ash, which has nothing to do with fire. I think instead I will blame it on the lack of people purchasing shares in my bakeries…

I wanted to abduct the bureaucrats that denied my clients access to food because they did not meet certain criteria. Stick them in a room and let them starve a while then provide them with a convoluted form to fill out so they could request food. But provide them with no pen and the wrong form. Then eventually give them the right form and a crayon. Watch them fill it out with the crayon, then deny the request because they did not use a pen as stipulated on the form. When they get angry at me for providing the crayon in the first place, I will ignore that and tell them I shall deny their claim because they are being abusive. When they then ask for a pen I will give them a form to request a pen. Once they have completed that form. I will give them a pen, let them fill out the form for food. Then tell them they don't meet the criteria, as pens have recently been redefined as actually meaning crayons and since you filled out the form with a pen, which is not a crayon any more you will have to fill out another form with the correct writing implement.

I would ask them if those hunger pains are making this process more difficult and would they like any help navigating the system? Should they say yes, I will apologies and tell them due to funding cuts there is a six-month wait to receive the appropriate help as we are pretty backed up here. Which is a bit of a problem as it takes around forty days to die of starvation, but if you are dead you are at least not on our books. I will then provide them with the form and cheerfully inform them that the new form has been updated to better reflect the needs of our clients. I will point out several of the questions are now trick questions. If you fill it out in a certain way that seems logical to you. I will instead ridiculously infer from that you don't actually need food and use your own words as evidence against your claim. Good luck and have a nice day.


Unsurprisingly I quit after a breakdown as feeling enraged and nursing homicidal fantasies all the time was severely damaging. I am corrupted into a sense of having no hope for the future. With such bitter brooding cynicism. I feel like we are on course to all be eating sawdust while being told how nutritionally complete it is. Sorry for the lengthy diatribe.

A massive thumbs up from me.

 

[slowlystarve]

completely.

 

[bigj75]

Nature in of itself is currupt.

it is but for me what I've personally learned is that there is two sides to nature. The destructive, unfair, and cruel side. Then their is the nurturing, beautiful, and caring side. People on average do the wrong things to themselves and to the people around them so of course nature is going to be cruel and unfair to everyone because of it. That's why it's so important to treat all people right and yourself because even innocent people suffer if you don't. Imagine if everyone in the world did the right thing (statistically the right thing) then maybe nature wouldn't be so damn bad.

 

[netrezven]

I see people as greedy and stupid "monkeys". Monkeys are much much better than most of us. All the people i know are ruled by basic instincts, actions and the worst - thoughts. All my life i'm cursed to be smarter than anyone around me. 99% percent of the time i know what a person thinks, will think, wants and how will act in the future. This is bearable, till the moment the people you love (and thought they are different) knock too many knifes in your back.
Still got the ability to manipulate people, but i never wanted it. I really don't give a f*ck. Don't need anyone at all. Don't need to use the monkeys anymore. Women love me, got money, have some friends, but i ended up in no will at all to meet new ones. The disappointment i got from all (mostly my closes relatives/people) might be the reason i quit the police i started my own criminal career. The one thing i made quite obvious to the world, without hiding or duplicity. I'm glad with my decision. It helped me to accept most people. Actually f*cking the society is the best thing ever happened to me. And it doesn't make me any worse then the others. I just can buy/have everything they dream about (after i pay my taxes). But i can't have what i personally and mostly want on this world.
And never will - Trust. Ironically my business has nothing to do with this. It's all just personal stuff. You all live with the lies of your closest, but most of you are just stupid enough, not to realize that.

 

[dyingtodie]

omg, sooooo relateable! This is a big reason for my rushing to the station. It's like Donnie Brasco where he becomes one of the mafia guys...

Like the Smiths sing: See the luck I've had, would make a good man, turn bad...so, for once in my life, let me get what I want...(death) lord knows, it would be the first time.

Thanks @Misanthrope for your diatribe! It helped me laugh and therefore helped me live today. Ugh, people, systems...though I don't relate exactly, your words are such a perfect portrait of our society these days.
zzz919 is right. I'm a little jealous. But that's only cause I'm a good writer too :) One of my motivations to stay alive is to write my book, memoir, story, something. My working title is: "Why I Killed Myself (The best suicide note ever written)" To muse on the state of this sick culture. I've wanted to be a writer my whole life. If you find a publisher let me know, maybe they'll hire me too! It's probably a pipe-dream though, but hey, pipe dreams are keeping me alive to hear my favorite tunes one more time, so that's fine. I wouldn't be writing it for money, (obviously...hence the title) but hopefully to spare some aspect of life from a bit of suffering. I could self-publish on amazon...or put up a website, and eventually be found posthumously (So I don't have to stress about sending notes, and someone reading it before my expiration date, thus attempting to stop me.)

Indeed @Johnnythefox (Reminds me of working class hero by lennon)

@netrezven nicely expressed. I'm curious to hear more of your story. I relate very much though I haven't turned criminal and want to keep my Karma clean cause I know if I hurt anyone it will come back to me.

It sucks when we realize what we want most from life is not available here, such a curse, and for me a blessing as I feel I've showed up fully to serve life but life hasn't shown up for me in the way I need, so I am free to leave guilt free.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

Absolutely yes. The world has crushed and spit out my soul. I feel broken.

 

[Xerxes]

I feel America has corrupted me. I go to another country that is developing and I see how friendly locals can be when you get outside the city. Once you get into the real deal of society, away from the materialism, the greed, the corporations, and meet hardworking honest folk that work just for the family. You are given one mindset which is care for the family and make a future for yourself. Here in America, I feel we're given so many options and our minds get confused. We should a future for ourself, but short term, we really want to spend money hookers and blow.

There are no hookers and blow in the countryside.

 

[bigj75]

I feel America has corrupted me. I go to another country that is developing and I see how friendly locals can be when you get outside the city. Once you get into the real deal of society, away from the materialism, the greed, the corporations, and meet hardworking honest folk that work just for the family. You are given one mindset which is care for the family and make a future for yourself. Here in America, I feel we're given so many options and our minds get confused. We should a future for ourself, but short term, we really want to spend money hookers and blow.

There are no hookers and blow in the countryside.

that makes a lot of sense.

 

[ReadyasEver]

Yep, I bought into the delusion for nearly 40 years. I did do a lot of charity work, and I did help as many as I could along the way. Materialism, judged by how much you have and not the conviction and generosity of your heart. Success in life is not measured by the monetary worth that you have attained but the lives you touched in trying to make the human condition better. The US societal norms are really breaking us down for the worst right now.

 

[Severen]

It corrupted me when I was younger but I've purged myself of all the corruption since then.

 

[Fyrinne]

Monsters are made, not born...

There comes that point when you realize that if everyone sees you as a monster, what's the point in acting otherwise? People act like being good is intrinsic, but why should it be? There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a reward for your actions, and altruism is absolutely a wonderful goal, because a world full of altruistic people takes care of its people. Everyone working together to benefit each other. Treating people well is better for everyone, but some people would rather kick people down to get their pleasure. Some people would rather hoard, take more than they need, and we act like that's something to aspire to...

And 'good people' fall for the sad little trick that we should not 'sink to their level', but there is a big difference between harming an innocent, and fighting back...

So if we're going to reward monsters... Why be better?

I mean, there are reasons... It's just sad... We let the monsters tear us down, while we raise them on a pedestal...

Some days, my monster is loud. Some days, I wonder why I bother holding it back... It's an interesting little race to see what wins out. Do I find the thing that quiets the monster, or do I put myself down before it comes out, or does it finally win? I wish I had hope for the former (more that that tiny fading glimmer), and I wish I had the means to just end it and stop playing chicken...

 

[netrezven]

Why all the monsters in the movies look like crap. Why the idea of being shot by naked sexy blonde scares almost no one? Think about it - if such a pretty lady gets gasoline and lights you up - will it be better then being simply eaten by the megalodon?

 

[lost illusions]

I'm full of hate toward everyone and everything, yet torn because I don't want to be this way.

 

[Vegrau]

Hahahahaha.. world do not corrupt us. There's no such thing as corruption. Things we dont like about ourselves doesnt equate bad in someone else. Like how cold hearted person devoid of compassion might not be able fit in with people but that trait is sought after in army, medical field and business.

World in duality because we perceive it as such. One side things we like and another things we dont. Theres no bad or good. Only how we use it. Even bad can be good in right situation if being use correctly.

I feel myself changing with time yes. But I dont see it as a bad thing. Because I know who I am and what I want.

 

[MKnight]

Hahahahaha.. world do not corrupt us. There's no such thing as corruption. Things we dont like about ourselves doesnt equate bad in someone else. Like how cold hearted person devoid of compassion might not be able fit in with people but that trait is sought after in army, medical field and business.

World in duality because we perceive it as such. One side things we like and another things we dont. Theres no bad or good. Only how we use it. Even bad can be good in right situation if being use correctly.

I feel myself changing with time yes. But I dont see it as a bad thing. Because I know who I am and what I want.

But then having no compassion for pro lifers would also be devoid of compassion. Understanding why pro lifers are the way they are and accepting them for that. The things you don't like people doing to you, you are now doing to them.

 

[Vegrau]

But then having no compassion for pro lifers would also be devoid of compassion. Understanding why pro lifers are the way they are and accepting them for that. The things you don't like people doing to you, you are now doing to them.

How cute. Theres also such thing as right and wrong. When something is wrong its. Infringing on people's basic right to live and die. Thats wrong. Upholding the ideas that harm and hurt others is wrong. Doing things that hurt or harm other is wrong. We dont need to tolerate wrong harmful and hurtful thing. Theres no logic or reasoning behind prolifer. I understand them thats why I know theyre wrong and its impossible to sympathize or empathize with them. When they actively harming people.

 

[MKnight]

How cute. Theres also such thing as right and wrong. When something is wrong its. Infringing on people's basic right to live and die. Thats wrong. Upholding the ideas that harm and hurt others is wrong. Doing things that hurt or harm other is wrong. We dont need to tolerate wrong harmful and hurtful thing. Theres no logic or reasoning behind prolifer. I understand them thats why I know theyre wrong and its impossible to sympathize or empathize with them. When they actively harming people.

"pro lifers" aint all the same and you're assuming how they are and are generalizing. Family and friends could be grouped into your definition of "pro lifers". To them there is logic and reasoning just like you have, I imagine one would be love, support, encouragement. You're dismissing their logic and reasoning just like they are doing to you. It's one big hypocrisy.

It still comes down to you saying they have no compassion and you showing no compassion aswell.

If you have a daughter that doesn't want to die I see the reasoning in that...

 

[Vegrau]

"pro lifers" aint all the same and you're assuming how they are and are generalizing. Family and friends could be grouped into your definition of "pro lifers". To them there is logic and reasoning just like you have, I imagine one would be love, support, encouragement. You're dismissing their logic and reasoning just like they are doing to you. It's one big hypocrisy.

It still comes down to you saying they have no compassion and you showing no compassion aswell.

If you have a daughter that doesn't want to die I see the reasoning in that...

How cute. We all have our own right and wrong. I definitely dont have to answer to you. I dont remember you being my boss lol. Also you dont need to answer to me either. I never said I am a saint hehe so how can I be hypocrite? I never said I am better. Imagining too much again boy?

 

[MKnight]

How cute. We all have our own right and wrong. I definitely dont have to answer to you. I dont remember you being my boss lol. Also you dont need to answer to me either. I never said I am a saint hehe so how can I be hypocrite? I never said I am better. Imagining too much again boy?

Ok ?