• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
D

Dbd8djddi

Member
Jul 29, 2022
75
I wonder, does anyone else here feel like they can't stop fucking themselves over again and again?
On Friday I had a job interview. Impressed the boss so much, he gave me the job on the spot, I could start this Monday. The day came, I put on my best clothes, told my mom I'm off to my new job, but instead of actually showing up to the place, I said "Fuck it", went to the city, went on a stroll, chilled around a bit, bought a bottle of alcohol and went home. They keep calling me, but I don't answer. This is not the first time it happened, I do that shit constantly. People invite me to a job interview, I just ghost them. People invite me to hang out with them, I just ghost them. Most of the time with the explanation, "Why should I bother, I'm gonna be dead soon anyway." or "It's not gonna help me anyway" and while I am convinced I am beyond saving at this point and there is most definitely truth to it, surely it wouldn't hurt to take a chance and impart some change into my life. But I just can't bring myself to do it, I gave up on everything at this point.
Fuck man, I'm tired of this shit.
I built this massive, massive wall around me and threw away the key; so now even if I would want to let people in or climb out of it myself, I can not do it.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: godsseepiestsoldier, Seered Doom, Praestat_Mori and 2 others
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,381
"Why should I bother, I'm gonna be dead soon anyway."
I think this is the actual problem you have. I can relate to it myself bc after a big failure in life a few years ago and after all hopes for a personal recovery are gone since many months, I "switched off" completely. I can CTB at any time, plan is ready, method is ready. I'm sure our personal situations are completely different but the result is the same, we're done with life and we have no hope things can become better for us.

It's really difficult to break out of such a cycle, I don't know how this could work.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: fiftyfiftyclown, Dbd8djddi, pole and 1 other person
HollowDrop

HollowDrop

ah
Oct 4, 2023
152
This same "I will be dead anyway" mindset is why I do things like drink way too much every weekend. That money won't miss me when I'm gone and neither will my alcohol abused body. It becomes a problem once I start having issues paying my rent and not buying myself proper food. As long as my cat has all the food, treats and other things she needs to be healthy I don't care about taking care of myself.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
peachchildtenshi

peachchildtenshi

life
Apr 6, 2023
66
By this point my self sabotaging has became a part of my life and to the point where it is now automatic.
and of course it has affected my life greatly from academics, jobs, social life.
the consequences of my actions, well i deserved it anyway
 
  • Like
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
W

worsethananightmare

New Member
Oct 30, 2023
4
i self sabotaged my whole life, making worst decisions and running from everything that wasn't pleasant escapism.
i wasted hundreds of thousands on mental health and physical health and never improved one bit, now im in constant agony until its over.
i also gave away a fortune for no reason than me being insane and suicidal to strangers on the internet a few years ago.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
A

atuarellaveres

New Member
Oct 21, 2023
1
I wonder, does anyone else here feel like they can't stop fucking themselves over again and again?
On Friday I had a job interview. Impressed the boss so much, he gave me the job on the spot, I could start this Monday. The day came, I put on my best clothes, told my mom I'm off to my new job, but instead of actually showing up to the place, I said "Fuck it", went to the city, went on a stroll, chilled around a bit, bought a bottle of alcohol and went home. They keep calling me, but I don't answer. This is not the first time it happened, I do that shit constantly. People invite me to a job interview, I just ghost them. People invite me to hang out with them, I just ghost them. Most of the time with the explanation, "Why should I bother, I'm gonna be dead soon anyway." or "It's not gonna help me anyway" and while I am convinced I am beyond saving at this point and there is most definitely truth to it, surely it wouldn't hurt to take a chance and impart some change into my life. But I just can't bring myself to do it, I gave up on everything at this point.
Fuck man, I'm tired of this shit.
I built this massive, massive wall around me and threw away the key; so now even if I would want to let people in or climb out of it myself, I can not do it.
I just want to «switch off». Emotions whack the shit out of me. I've come to binge drinking cause it's the only thing that helps. It's fucking disgusting.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
G

godsseepiestsoldier

Member
Oct 22, 2023
95
youre definitely not alone. Ive self sabotaged everything my entire life which is a shame considering I was born academically gifted and not only chose to waste it but actively hindered myself. I wont just not revise for major exams (GCSES Alevels etc) but will actively get bored and start to waste half of my time in the exam or not fully concentrate which is a shame considering I still usually get an A or a B. I feel like such talents are wasted on someone who does less than the bare minimum and actively tries to fail. Same with all my friendships I have a really bad tendency to randomly tank friendships in quite horrific ways or just relationships in general. I dont even have a reasoning or thought process to it. its more like a subconscious overwhelming urge to just tank and actively destroy anything good I have.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
Csmith8827

Csmith8827

Strength.
Oct 26, 2019
946
I wonder, does anyone else here feel like they can't stop fucking themselves over again and again?
On Friday I had a job interview. Impressed the boss so much, he gave me the job on the spot, I could start this Monday. The day came, I put on my best clothes, told my mom I'm off to my new job, but instead of actually showing up to the place, I said "Fuck it", went to the city, went on a stroll, chilled around a bit, bought a bottle of alcohol and went home. They keep calling me, but I don't answer. This is not the first time it happened, I do that shit constantly. People invite me to a job interview, I just ghost them. People invite me to hang out with them, I just ghost them. Most of the time with the explanation, "Why should I bother, I'm gonna be dead soon anyway." or "It's not gonna help me anyway" and while I am convinced I am beyond saving at this point and there is most definitely truth to it, surely it wouldn't hurt to take a chance and impart some change into my life. But I just can't bring myself to do it, I gave up on everything at this point.
Fuck man, I'm tired of this shit.
I built this massive, massive wall around me and threw away the key; so now even if I would want to let people in or climb out of it myself, I can not do it.
I suggest you and everyone else who posted in this thread snap out of it. I was notorious for this type of behavior when I was young and now it's as if I've burned wayyyy to many bridges to make another one. I'm unemployed and it's not a good place to be in, trust me. Stop burning bridges because 9/10 chances are you're going to need them in the future. I'd just hate for someone to dig a hole like I have and be trapped in it. It's seriously jacked up and I don't wish it on anyone.
 

Similar threads

VentureOverwatch
Replies
0
Views
100
Suicide Discussion
VentureOverwatch
VentureOverwatch
W
Replies
0
Views
133
Suicide Discussion
waterbottle3929
W
lawlietsph
Replies
2
Views
225
Suicide Discussion
Still here
S
ForestGhost
Replies
1
Views
115
Suicide Discussion
DivineSpark
DivineSpark
kkiwii
Replies
0
Views
125
Suicide Discussion
kkiwii
kkiwii