Anyone else abused as a child?

[Irishman]

My mother passed away when i was 10 and I grew up with an abusive father who had BPD.

 

[Sherri]

Yes I have, I was 10. By my grandpa. Still haven't recovered and I'm middle aged woman now.

 

[TreizKhushranata]

No self esteem, low confidence, as others have said I have difficulty standing up for myself. I suppress my emotions, and I don't ask questions for clarity when something confuses me, because I wasn't allowed to cry or laugh, and I wasn't allowed to ask questions. I have the emotional maturity of a teenager because I was never allowed to express or explore my emotions.
I think I'm good for nothing and can't do anything right, because that's what I was taught as a child. I'm socially retarded because I was taught not to speak unless spoken to, and the things I say tend to come across as critical and judgemental, even though they're not meant that way, because that was all I heard growing up.
I'm sure it's affected me in many other ways, those are just what I can think of off the top of my head.

We're very similar except over the years I learned to verbally stand up for myself. I never learned how to fight though which sucks.

 

[Good4Nothing]

We're very similar except over the years I learned to verbally stand up for myself. I never learned how to fight though which sucks.

Opposite for me. I learned how to fight, but I can't verbally stick up for myself. I prefer to avoid any confrontation at all, and I hate it when people get confrontational with me. I never know what to do, I get flustered and confused, I see red, and fight or flight kicks in.

 

[Gentleman]

My childhood was full of abuse and negligence. Needless to say it casted a shadow the length of a lifetime.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

my father died when I was 15. He mentally and physically abused us for as long as i can remember-us= myself, my bro and my mom. We were allthe objects of a fist and unkind words. 6 months after he past I met a bf more evil than my father ever was and spent about a yr and a half being mentally abused and being his punching, choking bag, he put a gun to my head twice. The 2nd time I knew it was time to get away.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Aside from my circumcision, spankings and some nasty remarks from my mother, no not really. My parents weren't malicious people just very incompetent and made some selfish decisions on my sibling and I's behalf.

 

[nitroautnz]

After talking to my counsellor, i find out that a memory that i have since im a child is, in fact, an indecent assault. It was with a psychologist (or something similar) my memory starts at the beginning of the appointment where the event happens, then nothing until im in the car with my mum saying that I don't want to see this person again. My mum told me years after that i never wanted to give a reason behind me not wanting to see this person again. Apparently i could have some repressed memory of what happened after the assault, but it could be the only thing that happens too.
And his doubt of not being sure is really hard to deal with.

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

Yeah. I have some mental disorders because of it.

 

[Sherri]

Yeah. I have some mental disorders because of it.

Me too, scars that won't heal.

 

[Life_is_comedy]

No self esteem, low confidence, as others have said I have difficulty standing up for myself. I suppress my emotions, and I don't ask questions for clarity when something confuses me, because I wasn't allowed to cry or laugh, and I wasn't allowed to ask questions. I have the emotional maturity of a teenager because I was never allowed to express or explore my emotions.
I think I'm good for nothing and can't do anything right, because that's what I was taught as a child. I'm socially retarded because I was taught not to speak unless spoken to, and the things I say tend to come across as critical and judgemental, even though they're not meant that way, because that was all I heard growing up.
I'm sure it's affected me in many other ways, those are just what I can think of off the top of my head.

Wow very similar here, are you me? Being abused psychologically and being beat up by my father meant I couldn't defend myself, that it was always my fault. He would say one thing like, "You could just say to me if I go too hard or go overboard when I discipline you. I'm a reasonable person," but when I did speak up, he would gaslight me that it was my fault, that I was good for nothing and it was just all in my head. That I was crazy and making things up.

If I actually didn't live under his house now or dependent on him, I would be happy to stand up to him and beat him up for all the abuses he dished out to me when I was still a child and living as an adult under his roof. He's mellowed down now but only because I am fighting back and he's already old. He knows I could stand up to him and beat him up now so he just backs down and doesn't act up in this point in time. I would actually get in his face and shout him down inches away from his old ass. But damn man, I wished I would've done that sooner when I was still a child. I could've defended myself from other people and knew how to stand up to my bullies. It's like normies know how vulnerable you are and use you as a verbal and psychological punching bag to rise up the top in the social ladder.