V
ven
Member
- Aug 11, 2021
- 64
Today I woke up and conducted my normal morning routine without issue. My semi-annual dental examination and cleaning was scheduled mid-morning, so I drove toward the dental office. Driving to the office was dreamlike, everything like a slow and numb autopilot mode. I arrived to the office, checked in and waited for the hygienist to call my name. My name is called, she measures my temperature, then walks me to a back room and seats me in the same dental chair. From here, I start to genuinely struggle to stay present.
Normally I'm responsive and proactively paying attention to what happening as the hygienist cleans my mouth, today was different. I started to fade, I could still see and realize what's happening with enough accuracy to react, but I it was difficult to force my body to act. It required immense concentration to break through what felt like hardening sludge. I broke free of sensation in time to talk to the dentist before leaving. I'm lucky the process is impressively streamlined, because interpersonal interaction was difficult to navigate.
Looking back on the situation, it didn't feel real in the moment and doesn't feel real now. The only confirmation that I attended a dentist are the polished facial and lingual tooth surfaces, and a business card with my future appointment day. I'm worried that if I didn't fight so hard to maintain presence, that I may have become completely catatonic.
Anyone encounter similar issues with dissociation?
Normally I'm responsive and proactively paying attention to what happening as the hygienist cleans my mouth, today was different. I started to fade, I could still see and realize what's happening with enough accuracy to react, but I it was difficult to force my body to act. It required immense concentration to break through what felt like hardening sludge. I broke free of sensation in time to talk to the dentist before leaving. I'm lucky the process is impressively streamlined, because interpersonal interaction was difficult to navigate.
Looking back on the situation, it didn't feel real in the moment and doesn't feel real now. The only confirmation that I attended a dentist are the polished facial and lingual tooth surfaces, and a business card with my future appointment day. I'm worried that if I didn't fight so hard to maintain presence, that I may have become completely catatonic.
Anyone encounter similar issues with dissociation?