The only thing I've ever cared about and loved to an extreme (when i say extreme I mean giving my life for her extreme), has dumped me. 4 years of a relationship and in the end her feelings changed for me. I had given up on everything prior to meeting her and was abt to CTB when she found me.. she saved me.. I had a shot at life again.. but now she doesn't love me anymore so all the shit I was experiencing before her is back, added on now with all the pain from her not loving me anymore :')
Too tired to talk, too tired to make an effort anymore to do anything. I'll try and give you a little context to it. Anything that I wanted to be, anythin that I ever wanted to achieve was because of her. She was my motivation and my only hope. I had never loved someone so much, and I still do. She was my best friend before we got into a relationship and she still says she is my best friend but I feel like I'm being replaced by the person who's my mortal fuckin enemy. I know, no matter what I do no matter who I see no matter how many friends I hang out with, she'll always be there in the back of my head because I can't ever stop loving her :') and it just hurts like being hit by a fucking truck because she doesn't love me back or want me anymore. There's so much more than the shit I wrote here that's going on with the whole situation. I just wrote 5% of what's going on and I am genuinely tired to write more. I'm mentally drained, my heart physically and emotionally hurts every day, I can't sleep properly because my mind is infested with shitty and painful dreams but when I do sleep, I cry myself to sleep and wake up crying and I'm depressed the whole day since the past 1 and a half month, I'm genuinely tired of this routine and it's never gona change. I'm done bro. CTB is the only way to make it stop and put a halt to my misery and I'm looking for easily accessible ways to do it and end it once and for all. :')