SadGirl

SadGirl

Specialist
Mar 24, 2019
333
Don't get me wrong , I was broken before and he broke up with me for being suicidal but the breakup has made me just loose all hope. People tell me im childish and nobody gets me and tells me to just move on but the problem is not only breakup but everything in my life (I have depression and BPD). Please tell me im not alone.
I ended my relationship recently too, and it only increased my desire for ctb.
 
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galaxyencrypted

galaxyencrypted

max.
Dec 18, 2018
34
Don't get me wrong , I was broken before and he broke up with me for being suicidal but the breakup has made me just loose all hope. People tell me im childish and nobody gets me and tells me to just move on but the problem is not only breakup but everything in my life (I have depression and BPD). Please tell me im not alone.
I have. I hung myself over a dumb bitch who ended up cheating on me. I'd rather hang myself over something else than that. trust me, don't ever do that over a break up cause you'll realise how much of a bad bitch you are.
 
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Nightwillalwayswin

Nightwillalwayswin

Member
May 3, 2020
84
I am sorry but I guess my point of view is different. Breakups while painful are just a part of process that is called life. I view it as getting taller, which can also be painful, having birth which can also be painful, getting sick and building antibodies etc
I am sorry if I offended anyone but I just don't see it. Ctb for your grandparents or parents dying is the same thing for me. A part of reality.
That's fine but then speak for yourself at all times. You don't know the ways it affects others so shouldn't accuse them of exaggerating.
 
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ansiedad

ansiedad

Alone
Dec 29, 2020
127
Me too. You tell my story.
She left me becaouse y tried ctb. And y tried ctb becouse she was walked away amd I'm shure that she thinks left me before.
Finally she uses that act to breakup...
Now i am thinking in ctb all the time.

Sorry for my bad english. Its so hard tell my history in another language.
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
B

Bro

Dumped by the only love of my life after 4 yrs :')
Jan 2, 2021
12
The only thing I've ever cared about and loved to an extreme (when i say extreme I mean giving my life for her extreme), has dumped me. 4 years of a relationship and in the end her feelings changed for me. I had given up on everything prior to meeting her and was abt to CTB when she found me.. she saved me.. I had a shot at life again.. but now she doesn't love me anymore so all the shit I was experiencing before her is back, added on now with all the pain from her not loving me anymore :')

Too tired to talk, too tired to make an effort anymore to do anything. I'll try and give you a little context to it. Anything that I wanted to be, anythin that I ever wanted to achieve was because of her. She was my motivation and my only hope. I had never loved someone so much, and I still do. She was my best friend before we got into a relationship and she still says she is my best friend but I feel like I'm being replaced by the person who's my mortal fuckin enemy. I know, no matter what I do no matter who I see no matter how many friends I hang out with, she'll always be there in the back of my head because I can't ever stop loving her :') and it just hurts like being hit by a fucking truck because she doesn't love me back or want me anymore. There's so much more than the shit I wrote here that's going on with the whole situation. I just wrote 5% of what's going on and I am genuinely tired to write more. I'm mentally drained, my heart physically and emotionally hurts every day, I can't sleep properly because my mind is infested with shitty and painful dreams but when I do sleep, I cry myself to sleep and wake up crying and I'm depressed the whole day since the past 1 and a half month, I'm genuinely tired of this routine and it's never gona change. I'm done bro. CTB is the only way to make it stop and put a halt to my misery and I'm looking for easily accessible ways to do it and end it once and for all. :')
 
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AbandonedGirl

AbandonedGirl

Member
Jan 3, 2021
31
Me too. You tell my story.
She left me becaouse y tried ctb. And y tried ctb becouse she was walked away amd I'm shure that she thinks left me before.
Finally she uses that act to breakup...
Now i am thinking in ctb all the time.

Sorry for my bad english. Its so hard tell my history in another language.
Your english is okay, don't worry I am not a native speaker either. I'm sorry this has happened to you...I feel your pain,
The only thing I've ever cared about and loved to an extreme (when i say extreme I mean giving my life for her extreme), has dumped me. 4 years of a relationship and in the end her feelings changed for me. I had given up on everything prior to meeting her and was abt to CTB when she found me.. she saved me.. I had a shot at life again.. but now she doesn't love me anymore so all the shit I was experiencing before her is back, added on now with all the pain from her not loving me anymore :')

Too tired to talk, too tired to make an effort anymore to do anything. I'll try and give you a little context to it. Anything that I wanted to be, anythin that I ever wanted to achieve was because of her. She was my motivation and my only hope. I had never loved someone so much, and I still do. She was my best friend before we got into a relationship and she still says she is my best friend but I feel like I'm being replaced by the person who's my mortal fuckin enemy. I know, no matter what I do no matter who I see no matter how many friends I hang out with, she'll always be there in the back of my head because I can't ever stop loving her :') and it just hurts like being hit by a fucking truck because she doesn't love me back or want me anymore. There's so much more than the shit I wrote here that's going on with the whole situation. I just wrote 5% of what's going on and I am genuinely tired to write more. I'm mentally drained, my heart physically and emotionally hurts every day, I can't sleep properly because my mind is infested with shitty and painful dreams but when I do sleep, I cry myself to sleep and wake up crying and I'm depressed the whole day since the past 1 and a half month, I'm genuinely tired of this routine and it's never gona change. I'm done bro. CTB is the only way to make it stop and put a halt to my misery and I'm looking for easily accessible ways to do it and end it once and for all. :')
This...damn hits so damn close to home, its almost like you wrote part of my story. The pain is unbearable and it is pushing me bit by bit.I don't think I have much left.
 
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ThrownAwayTom

ThrownAwayTom

Experienced
Oct 3, 2020
276
The only thing I've ever cared about and loved to an extreme (when i say extreme I mean giving my life for her extreme), has dumped me. 4 years of a relationship and in the end her feelings changed for me. I had given up on everything prior to meeting her and was abt to CTB when she found me.. she saved me.. I had a shot at life again.. but now she doesn't love me anymore so all the shit I was experiencing before her is back, added on now with all the pain from her not loving me anymore :')

Too tired to talk, too tired to make an effort anymore to do anything. I'll try and give you a little context to it. Anything that I wanted to be, anythin that I ever wanted to achieve was because of her. She was my motivation and my only hope. I had never loved someone so much, and I still do. She was my best friend before we got into a relationship and she still says she is my best friend but I feel like I'm being replaced by the person who's my mortal fuckin enemy. I know, no matter what I do no matter who I see no matter how many friends I hang out with, she'll always be there in the back of my head because I can't ever stop loving her :') and it just hurts like being hit by a fucking truck because she doesn't love me back or want me anymore. There's so much more than the shit I wrote here that's going on with the whole situation. I just wrote 5% of what's going on and I am genuinely tired to write more. I'm mentally drained, my heart physically and emotionally hurts every day, I can't sleep properly because my mind is infested with shitty and painful dreams but when I do sleep, I cry myself to sleep and wake up crying and I'm depressed the whole day since the past 1 and a half month, I'm genuinely tired of this routine and it's never gona change. I'm done bro. CTB is the only way to make it stop and put a halt to my misery and I'm looking for easily accessible ways to do it and end it once and for all. :')
Damn dude are you me? It didn't hurt when the same happened to me for a while, but years later I'm exactly the same. She's moved on and happy but she won't leave my mind
 
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restforeternity

restforeternity

Student
Feb 17, 2019
170
I think a break up would just make the decision to ctb much easier but I wouldn't make it the only reason to. It just wouldn't be fair to the other person to feel guilty. Ones life shouldn't have to depend on the relationship with the other or on someone's life. That's just my opinion. Not everyone has that capacity to fix someone. Infact it isn't really anyone's job to do that. Its lonely I know but for me I'd leave anyone out with my life decisions nor should anyone influence your choice in any matter.
 
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AbandonedGirl

AbandonedGirl

Member
Jan 3, 2021
31
Damn dude are you me? It didn't hurt when the same happened to me for a while, but years later I'm exactly the same. She's moved on and happy but she won't leave my mind
Same here. He moved on, goes to college and is living a happy life (I don't blame him at all good for him) meanwhile I gave up my studies and became a shut in.
I think a break up would just make the decision to ctb much easier but I wouldn't make it the only reason to. It just wouldn't be fair to the other person to feel guilty. Ones life shouldn't have to depend on the relationship with the other or on someone's life. That's just my opinion. Not everyone has that capacity to fix someone. Infact it isn't really anyone's job to do that. Its lonely I know but for me I'd leave anyone out with my life decisions nor should anyone influence your choice in any matter.
Never said it was the only thing pushing me, but is one of the main things. As for him feeling guilt, he won't even know I am dead. We aren't in contact anymore and we live in separate countries.
 
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P

PDAnnie2610

Waiting for my bus.
Oct 27, 2019
696
Don't get me wrong , I was broken before and he broke up with me for being suicidal but the breakup has made me just loose all hope. People tell me im childish and nobody gets me and tells me to just move on but the problem is not only breakup but everything in my life (I have depression and BPD). Please tell me im not alone.
You are not alone. I've BPD too.
 
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