Haematemesis
Student
- Jan 12, 2025
- 190
so this bothered me for a while and i want to speak it up wishing for a relief
when i talk to my friends they occasionally tell me about their negative social relationships
an example of this was a girl i chatted with. she told me about her ex. he was apparently cold and selfish. he was a drug addict and was worsening day by day. this girl i talked with was a clever, sophisticated and hardworking person. nevertheless she pursued him and tried to help him. he cheated on her.
i have tons of examples regarding these matters. people do disgusting things and don't get rejected by the society. they still have people helping and chasing them.
when i try to get better no one helps me. I don't expect their help anyway but even if I don't make mistakes other people do i get rejected/outcasted anyway.
no one chases me or helps me. if I don't contact people, it's over. they don't text me back.
i read bunch of stories about people not being able to forget an abusive ex or a problematic friend. i am never that friend even if I'm better. I don't have many issues about drugs or stuff like that. i used to be an alcoholic but i am sober for 3+ months. i don't abuse people, I don't manipulate them. i show them what i feel and care about them. and what do i get in return? distance. coldness.
I don't expect a babysitter who is going to help me get out of my problems or things like that. i just want someone to accept me with my flaws. when i make a harmless mistake once it shouldn't be that of a big deal. but it is.
if i were to disappear once and for all no one would care. and i think i want just that. disappearing.
when i talk to my friends they occasionally tell me about their negative social relationships
an example of this was a girl i chatted with. she told me about her ex. he was apparently cold and selfish. he was a drug addict and was worsening day by day. this girl i talked with was a clever, sophisticated and hardworking person. nevertheless she pursued him and tried to help him. he cheated on her.
i have tons of examples regarding these matters. people do disgusting things and don't get rejected by the society. they still have people helping and chasing them.
when i try to get better no one helps me. I don't expect their help anyway but even if I don't make mistakes other people do i get rejected/outcasted anyway.
no one chases me or helps me. if I don't contact people, it's over. they don't text me back.
i read bunch of stories about people not being able to forget an abusive ex or a problematic friend. i am never that friend even if I'm better. I don't have many issues about drugs or stuff like that. i used to be an alcoholic but i am sober for 3+ months. i don't abuse people, I don't manipulate them. i show them what i feel and care about them. and what do i get in return? distance. coldness.
I don't expect a babysitter who is going to help me get out of my problems or things like that. i just want someone to accept me with my flaws. when i make a harmless mistake once it shouldn't be that of a big deal. but it is.
if i were to disappear once and for all no one would care. and i think i want just that. disappearing.
