Anybody else planning on going tonight?

[AlexKy]

I feel the loneliness getting to me slowly, and this very moment I just want to let go, I'm putting the noose around my neck, and then I'm getting it of. I don't want another year, I want to die. Piece of shit existence, with piece of shit people (the ones who hurt me)! I want this nightmare to end, I guess I just need to try harder.

 

[Sherri]

No, PJS, Netflix and zanies And hopefully my boyfriend back.

 

[peepo]

I am going to try tonight. I have failed a lot of times in the past couple of months and probably will fail today.

 

[NoPointToContinue]

Ending your life the day people celebrate life...

 

[S like Siren]

I wish i could do something to kill myself tonight....i want die so badly too...so tired of this shit repeating...too many years now with this shit

 

[Onthe29th]

I want to avoid the holidays but I really want to ; trust me.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I am going to try tonight. I have failed a lot of times in the past couple of months and probably will fail today.

Sorry to hear that fren, if I can call you like that

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I've been seriously considering it and even more so over this past week. But I've seriously considered it many previous years too (going on NYE) but obviously I never have and don't think tonight will be any different. At least it's not like a few years ago when I spent NYE (voluntarily) in the psych ward because I'd had the naive, silly idea that I was *finally* going to take charge of my miserable circumstances and get some help and that going into the psych ward was a drastic measure that would garner me the help I needed/wanted at the time and being there at the literal start of the new year was symbolic of a new, better beginning for me. Ha. That year turned out to be one of the most devastating of my life in terms of death of loved ones, worsening health, just so many things. So yeah, maybe tonight I'll treat myself to an extra Valium, make a fire in the fireplace, watch some movies and doze into the next shitty year of my life.

 

[sickofbeinghere]

im sorry ur all having such a hard time this new years holy shit :(( i am also agoraphobic and spending it alone, loneliness sucks, if anyone wants someone to chat with over text or call then you can message me!!
sorry things are so difficult but we can watch some dumb youtube vids together or something and laugh :)

 

[AlexKy]

I am going to try tonight. I have failed a lot of times in the past couple of months and probably will fail today.

I'll also try tonight, and I hope it's the last time!

I've been seriously considering it and even more so over this past week. But I've seriously considered it many previous years too (going on NYE) but obviously I never have and don't think tonight will be any different. At least it's not like a few years ago when I spent NYE (voluntarily) in the psych ward because I'd had the naive, silly idea that I was *finally* going to take charge of my miserable circumstances and get some help and that going into the psych ward was a drastic measure that would garner me the help I needed/wanted at the time and being there at the literal start of the new year was symbolic of a new, better beginning for me. Ha. That year turned out to be one of the most devastating of my life in terms of death of loved ones, worsening health, just so many things. So yeah, maybe tonight I'll treat myself to an extra Valium, make a fire in the fireplace, watch some movies and doze into the next shitty year of my life.

You know I'm alone in my room and I'm like keep going to my noose, and SI kicks in, and at one point a thought went into my head to go to the A&E. I'm in the UK. Reading other people experiences with A&E, it sounds discouraging.

 

[Z-bar]

im sorry ur all having such a hard time this new years holy shit :(( i am also agoraphobic and spending it alone, loneliness sucks, if anyone wants someone to chat with over text or call then you can message me!!
sorry things are so difficult but we can watch some dumb youtube vids together or something and laugh :)

It's really appreciated that you put yourself out like that. I would take up the offer of having someone to talk to as I have battled panic attacks and battling agoraphobia myself. Pm me if you think that would be cool, as I'll be doing my own thing tonight

 

[peepo]

Sorry to hear that fren, if I can call you like that

Haha yes fren.

I'll also try tonight, and I hope it's the last time!

You know I'm alone in my room and I'm like keep going to my noose, and SI kicks in, and at one point a thought went into my head to go to the A&E. I'm in the UK. Reading other people experiences with A&E, it sounds discouraging.

I hope so too!

 

[little helpers]

holidays don't always make the best plan. had to learn it the hard way. but that's always when I feel like are the best time. to celebrate my own death.

 

[_Minsk]

I used to be excited about the fireworks many years ago, now i just want to die, its each year the same isolated thing and now there aint even fireworks on sale due to Corona.. at least we're not alone here

 

[AlexKy]

I used to be excited about the fireworks many years ago, now i just want to die, its each year the same isolated thing and now there aint even fireworks on sale due to Corona.. at least we're not alone here

Makes me sad that there are so many people, lonely and trying to die, and I think we are just the tip of the iceberg.

 

[WaterHemlock]

I'm trying hard to wait till a little into the new year.
Trying hard not to text an old lover goodbye. I really want to and he posts often about how if you're feeling suicidal to contact him. Yet when I did once he just said, I'll pray for you. That's the northern version of Bless Your Heart. It pretty much means I have no investment in you or your feelings, they don't affect me in the slightest and I can't be bothered to even listen.

I'm just going to cook two pounds of shrimp for myself and sit down and get drunk as I can, alone. Im all out of ideas. I'm just about out of time.
I'd call a friend if I trusted them to have any tools available besides a check-in at a mental hospital.
I'd go to a hospital myself if I had any hope it would help.
It will probably be a miracle if I make it another month.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Haha yes fren.

Thank you, hearing fireworks makes me depressed. Tf you celebrate. 2022 will be garbage

 

[jimmy7754]

I want to fly

 

[Huntfish34]

I Wish I could do it tonight,. But I suppose I'm too much of a pussy ass Bitch to pull the trigger.

Ahh well ; Got some whiskey, mushrooms, Lsd , and bars to help me drift away through the fireworks and whatnot...

Blessings and prayers to you All,. Love ya.

 

[AlexKy]

I'm trying hard to wait till a little into the new year.
Trying hard not to text an old lover goodbye. I really want to and he posts often about how if you're feeling suicidal to contact him. Yet when I did once he just said, I'll pray for you. That's the northern version of Bless Your Heart. It pretty much means I have no investment in you or your feelings, they don't affect me in the slightest and I can't be bothered to even listen.

I'm just going to cook two pounds of shrimp for myself and sit down and get drunk as I can, alone. Im all out of ideas. I'm just about out of time.
I'd call a friend if I trusted them to have any tools available besides a check-in at a mental hospital.
I'd go to a hospital myself if I had any hope it would help.
It will probably be a miracle if I make it another month.

Love and suicide, worst combination ever. its like mixing vodka and water, it just gets diluted. I feel your pain.

 

[ihatemylife]

I wish i could do something to kill myself tonight....i want die so badly too...so tired of this shit repeating...too many years now with this shit

Same here

 

[S like Siren]

Same here

I'm so sorry

 

[MatthewV3]

Tonight is the night.

 

[rationaltake]

I'll also try tonight, and I hope it's the last time!

You know I'm alone in my room and I'm like keep going to my noose, and SI kicks in, and at one point a thought went into my head to go to the A&E. I'm in the UK. Reading other people experiences with A&E, it sounds discouraging.

You sound as if you're uncertain. Maybe take some time to reconsider? Apologies if this comment is not helpful.

You could try ringing the Samaritans if you want to chat. They are open to discussing suicide. Take care

 

[AlexKy]

You sound as if you're uncertain. Maybe take some time to reconsider? Apologies if this comment is not helpful.

You could try ringing the Samaritans if you want to chat. They are open to discussing suicide. Take care

I'm certain I want to die, I'm just very afraid, that's what makes it painful I guess.
I tried the other day. They're not helpful, I don't know why they exist, it's a huge waste of resources. they work off a script, it's like talking to a robot, half the time that person was just rambling, not making sense or at least follow me in what I was saying.

Tonight is the night.

I hope you're having better luck than I am recovery or ctb wise, which ever comes first.

 

[rationaltake]

I'm certain I want to die, I'm just very afraid, that's what makes it painful I guess.
I tried the other day. They're not helpful, I don't know why they exist, it's a huge waste of resources. they work off a script, it's like talking to a robot, half the time that person was just rambling, not making sense or at least follow me in what I was saying.

I understand wanting to die and being very afraid. I'm sorry the Samaritans weren't helpful. I think it depends on who you get. I so wish that you weren't suffering like this.

Makes me sad that there are so many people, lonely and trying to die, and I think we are just the tip of the iceberg.

You are so right. And you are very compassionate. Your situation is heartbreaking.

 

[AlexKy]

30 minutes I sat with the noose around my neck, I just can't do it. I can't push the stool. it's like I'm frozen. I was hopping for a muscular spasm, since it's full suspension. my mouth got so dry.

 

[milly]

O yeah damn fireworks all around! too shitty depressed to ctb at the moment. hope to create a better plan soon.

 

[AlexKy]

O yeah damn fireworks all around! too shitty depressed to ctb at the moment. hope to create a better plan soon.

Happy New Year, Milly! I'm sure you will. But I would also hope that somehow you'll recover.

 

[fox_wannabe]

30 minutes I sat with the noose around my neck, I just can't do it. I can't push the stool. it's like I'm frozen. I was hopping for a muscular spasm, since it's full suspension. my mouth got so dry.

I have been there many time. Just not able to take next step.