Anybody else here ashamed of their sexuality?

[Meteora]

Why don t you clear up the mistety and tell us, what paraphilia is ?
@Jorms_McGander

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Why don t you clear up the mistety and tell us, what paraphilia is ?
@Jorms_McGander

In the interest of being polite, here is the wikipedia

Paraphilia - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

And a dictionary definition

Dictionary.com | Meanings & Definitions of English Words

The world's leading online dictionary: English definitions, synonyms, word origins, example sentences, word games, and more. A trusted authority for 25+ years!

www.dictionary.com

And I don't know if you didn't notice but this is a hard fucking boundary and you're incredibly fucking rude to push against it within the first five minutes of my bringing it up. Did you not read me saying I would not wish to discuss it? Do you not have access to google? Learn some fucking respect.

 

[Meteora]

And I don't know if you didn't notice but this is a hard fucking boundary and you're incredibly fucking rude to push against it within the first five minutes of my bringing it up. Did you not read me saying I would not wish to discuss it? Do you not have access to google? Learn some fucking respect.

Are you serious???
I really wonder who is rude here :D

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Are you serious???

Yes I sure was, and I am a fallible human being. This is an incredibly touchy subject and I had the impression you were pushing for more information than I wanted to share... would have been best to leave this one alone, but how could you know ahead of time except for the times I said don't ask me lol. I PMed you, cuz I had a knee-jerk reaction. I see that you only wanted definition of paraphilia, but still, barking up the wrong tree a little bit because y'know I had just written all this stuff about don't ask me.

Sorry about that. It's my reaction which is probably the most errant behaviour in the picture.

edit: OK. My reaction IS the most errant behaviour in the picture. I should have been patient enough to find out what information you wanted.

 

[Meteora]

You used this word three times and I was genuinly wondering what your "problem" is.

I was raised in deep sexual shame. In a very puritan and repressed part of North America. Not just sexual shame but body shame in general.

I relate very much to this and I felt sorry. Didn t mean to provoke you.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

You used this word three times and I was genuinly wondering what your "problem" is.

I relate very much to this and I felt sorry. Didn t mean to provoke you.

Okay so philia is "love of" and in this context it means sexual love. It's used outside of this context as in hydrophilic or lipophilic substances. It is used as an opposite to phobic, which hydro- can combine with for another common term hydrophobic.

Back in the sexual context, para meaning "beside" as in paramour, who is a lover you have outside your relationship. So paraphilia is "beside love" contrasted with normophilia which is "average/ordinary/usual love" I'm struggling not to use "norm" in its own definition lol.

So all that linguistic shit breaks down to mean it is anything outside of what is considered normal human love, that being the attraction to another consenting adult. Importantly, homosexuality is not defined as a paraphilia despite being a minority of sexualities, as homosexuality is the attraction to another consenting adult. So it is not homophilia. It is homosexuality.

Honestly paraphilias are fascinating if a person can manage a nonjudgemental view, and the variety is boundless. The human mind is a complicated machine and there are many opportunities to throw a switch wrong, resulting in as many different people as there are people on Earth.

Ok there is a definition and I'm not even rude about it. You toed a dangerous line just then lol... you survived!

 

[Apathy79]

I'm pretty sure you have already revealed what this paraphilia is. I remember reading it the other day when we were discussing a different hypothetical you proposed and I was browsing your older posts for triggers for it. I would hope the social stigma is more about the act than the inclination, but unfortunately thats probably not true in most cases. I see it that way fwiw.

As for being ashamed of my sexuality, kind of. I don't enjoy sex itself, and less still watching others do it, including all of the acts associated with it and even nudity. Everything the world considers porn turns me off. I still have a fetish, but it doesn't involve sex or nudity and is freely available on Youtube and sometimes even TV. Yet I've never told anyone what it is and am fearful about people discovering it. I guess that means I'm ashamed of it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd say I'm prone to limerence- obsessive crushes on people. Which can feel hugely embarassing because pretty much all of the time, they're way out of my league. I've managed to control it so that it's not focussed on 'real life' people now. I'm quite strict with myself about that.

But, it's been hugely unpleasant in the past. It's a weird combination though because the fantasy side of it can be nice. That's the problem really- the nice side of it draws you in and gets you hooked into believing you're in love with someone that doesn't really exist! Then, the disparity between them and your idea of them or, just the realisation it will never be real can be hugely painful. A sort of loss in a way.

It's not as bad as it used to be. I used to become obsessive about someone and then feel really ashamed that I felt like that. Now, I just tend to tell myself to quit this limerence shit before it takes a hold or- that it's probably ok because it's some fictional character or some unattainable celebrity.

It probably doesn't sound as shameful as other leanings but honestly, it's messed me up a lot in the past. At least 13 years were spent ridiculously pining over various totally ridiculous crushes.

 

[Ferdinand Bardamu]

Not really. Sometimes I wish I wasn't gay, but that's mainly because it'd be easier.

 

[BooGirl]

I'm not ashamed of my sexuality itself, but I despise having a libido. The single good thing about being on sertraline is that there was a solid two month period where I had zero sexual feelings, and I didn't realize how pleasant that was until they suddenly came back. If there was an easy way to eliminate libido without undergoing heartburn and appetite problems, I'd take it in a heartbeat.

 

[Red Moon]

I'm not ashamed of my sexuality but I can't do anything about my libido.

 

[Dusk till dawn]

I'm not lgbt or anything like that, however i wish i was born asexual, i despise sex, i know i have enough self-control to not procreate under any circumstances by i still feel ashamed of having sexual feelings, mainly because of the way i was raised, and also my opinion regarding pro-creation

 

[AmericanMary]

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with these thoughts and feelings :/ if you ever need someone to vent to about it, feel free to shoot me a DM.

I am lucky to feel very proud of my orientation (pansexual). Also very active in poly & kinky communities.