Discussion Anybody else have their life destroyed by mental illness?

[Blackroom_57]

My diagnosis is not finalized but it's something to do with depression and psychotic features. I've been getting worse recently. I just wish I was never born. Life wasn't that bad before this but now everyday is a nightmare. The only reason I'm alive is because my mom is taking care of me. She is the only one I have. Please please please value your mental health if you still have it. I didn't value mine until I lost it.


Anybody else have their life destroyed by mental illness?

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

When I look back on my life, yes, actually. Every major problem is to do with that. Even the way your brain works that might not be a diagnosable disorder is in that realm I suppose. For a long time I attributed it to "me/ my nature/ personality".

I'm sorry you're suffering x

 

[FireWalkWithMe]

I think many people here, yes. Usually either mental or physical pain, sometimes both as they can play against each other.

For me it's mental. Physically very healthy, mentally quite the opposite.

 

[Hollowman]

Yep it ruined everything I should've ctb decades ago. Good luck with the quacks I've been to six of them and they couldn't do much.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Yeh I never enjoyed life and let depression take over when I was a teenager and let myself get lost. I think it's possible I have lack of serotonin or something. Or even a thyroid problem. It's too late for me now, but I urge anyone who is young and depressed (but has no reason to be) to go get checked out as it could be a simple thing to fix. I wasted my teenage years and early 20s and would hate for anyone else to do the same if it's something that could be helped.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

Yeh I never enjoyed life and let depression take over when I was a teenager and let myself get lost. I think it's possible I have lack of serotonin or something. Or even a thyroid problem. It's too late for me now, but I urge anyone who is young and depressed (but has no reason to be) to go get checked out as it could be a simple thing to fix. I wasted my teenage years and early 20s and would hate for anyone else to do the same if it's something that could be helped.

I think there are a lot of people like us. The ironic thing is to start a social movement for change you have to have energy which - hilariously, we obviously don't have.

I'm talking about people who during teenage years become shut-ins/neet, can't cope with the next stages of life/failure to launch. People who "get lost". I think it's a very specific issue that is not like depression really. There are functioning depressives everywhere.

 

[ironstar]

Please please please value your mental health if you still have it. I didn't value mine until I lost it.

I think this is one of the biggest weaknesses of being human - we don't truly value anything until we've lost it.

My mental health started taking a nose dive when I was 13 or 14... I've always hid it from the people I know and have only experienced love from 3 people, one of whom is no longer here and the other two I've pushed away. It's been almost 20 years since my first suicide attempt (when I was a kid living with my mum). I've also never been diagnosed properly and am now starting to thing I have some form of psychosis thanks to other people being present during episodes (I hear an aggressive ARRGGHH periodically that others fail to notice entirely).

Honestly if you want help I'd skip talking to family and speak to a mental health specialist... they can usually interpret what you (or I at least) think are rambling nonsense into "oh this person is experiencing symptom x or symptom y etc.". When you've past that point you always have this safe secure space to vent your emotions and just be you where you and be able to find all the information available to you.

I'm sorry you're going through this and I really hope it gets better. You are always valued!

 

[Blackroom_57]

I think this is one of the biggest weaknesses of being human - we don't truly value anything until we've lost it.

My mental health started taking a nose dive when I was 13 or 14... I've always hid it from the people I know and have only experienced love from 3 people, one of whom is no longer here and the other two I've pushed away. It's been almost 20 years since my first suicide attempt (when I was a kid living with my mum). I've also never been diagnosed properly and am now starting to thing I have some form of psychosis thanks to other people being present during episodes (I hear an aggressive ARRGGHH periodically that others fail to notice entirely).

Honestly if you want help I'd skip talking to family and speak to a mental health specialist... they can usually interpret what you (or I at least) think are rambling nonsense into "oh this person is experiencing symptom x or symptom y etc.". When you've past that point you always have this safe secure space to vent your emotions and just be you where you and be able to find all the information available to you.

I'm sorry you're going through this and I really hope it gets better. You are always valued!

We are blind to what we have. All we see is what we don't. This is how you know it will never be enough.

 

[ironstar]

We are blind to what we have. All we see is what we don't. This is how you know it will never be enough.

That's universally true until we come together and forge a community. A community that we all have here where we can forget everyone else, even if just for a moment, and be seen as who and what we are. I think that's when we can make those decisions without guilt and without consequence because we know that there is someone or some-many who has seen what we're thinking and said yeah, no matter what you decide I support you completely. You are always enough, ALWAYS, no matter what you decide is next. Always x

 

[catastrophix]

Definitely yes. I have very limited freedom now due to my mental illness, as I have had prior CTB attempts/SH behaviors. I'm hopelessly dependent on a LOT of psychiatric medicine, which has made me have some pretty awful side effects. I've been diagnosed with a lot since I entered the mental health system, and with every new condition, the more I feel like I absolutely failed at trying to live a normal life. It's a horrible feeling, and I'm sorry that this is something you struggle with as well.

 

[mondo9k]

I have Borderline Personality Disorder and alcoholism and the doctors can't tell which one came first and caused the other.

 

[jamie_]

i would imagine most people here are, surely?

 

[ironstar]

i would imagine most people here are, surely?

Suicidal idealization isn't necessarily a sign of mental health problems

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I think there are a lot of people like us. The ironic thing is to start a social movement for change you have to have energy which - hilariously, we obviously don't have.

I'm talking about people who during teenage years become shut-ins/neet, can't cope with the next stages of life/failure to launch. People who "get lost". I think it's a very specific issue that is not like depression really. There are functioning depressives everywhere.

That was/is me definitely. I had no idea what to do with my life, no ambitions, no job sounded appealing so I just got stuck in retail (and only part-time so still seen as lazy etc. by everyone) and retail doesn't suit me (not sure what would) as not great around a lot of people. Can't cope with life at all, or the responsibility of it. It's amazing how far you can let yourself sink, and then of course it's a vicious circle. I never had any confidence I could do a job well, I'm incredibly slow at everything, just a liability really! It's sad because I really did wanna help people and be a responsible useful member of society but I literally don't think I'm capable. That would sound like a massive excuse to people on the outside world but some people on here (sadly) can probably relate. It's not like any of us expected or wanted to end up like this.

 

[Toy]

Absolutely yes. I ended up becoming a college dropout due to it, right now i'm heavily reliant on psychiatric medicine and therapy. Depression hit me at a young age, however I had no idea that I was psychotic and that it was ruining every aspect of my life until last year.

 

[Fwompje]

Definitely, I started out as a happy kid with just some delusions and hallucinations but then I became a teen and it got way worse. It made me lose everything besides my biggest hobby. It made me lose friends, I could've gotten a doctorate because I used to be smart yet now I work as an office cleaner, I treat my body like shit, I have no relationships with my family etc.

It pains me to know things could've been different if I had either been taken seriously without just being chalked up as a difficult person or if I had reached out for help myself. I'm still hoping things might change but life is so hard with my mental illness. I know it will never be over until I die.

 

[LastingSolace]

My diagnosis is not finalized but it's something to do with depression and psychotic features. I've been getting worse recently. I just wish I was never born. Life wasn't that bad before this but now everyday is a nightmare. The only reason I'm alive is because my mom is taking care of me. She is the only one I have. Please please please value your mental health if you still have it. I didn't value mine until I lost it.


Anybody else have their life destroyed by mental illness?

Yes.. I wish every day i wasn't this way. mental illness is a hard burden to carry, i intend to carry it on, it's all i can do, it's the least i can do. valuing your mental health is important, to me it was fleeting , but i was too young to value it, i got this way early on. I still want to aim for happiness recovery and progress and encourage everyone here to do the same.

 

[bigdog]

I really started to doubt mental illnesses as a whole. In my case for example father was beating me and there was no food at home. So they decided to take me to psychiatrist. They diagnosed me with each time different bullshit diagnosis after seeing me for 5 minutes. And so called depression is a normal reaction and is cured instantly with opioids not with antipsychotics which are literal poison or with antidepressants which starts to work after 2 weeks and do very little in terms of lifting your mood and have many side effects. It is a huge business and I don't know how a sane person would believe that after just seeing you for 5 minutes with questions like how do you feel with no testing like MRI or blood test or at least something they can diagnose you. You can do a test and go to 10 different psychiatrists and they will just write whatever bullshit diagnosis in your prescription. They themselves admit that they don't have any proof for their theories about chemical imbalances or other bullshit.

 

[Tartuffe]

I'm undiagnosed but the illness has destroyed me and desensitised me, moral compass seems broken

 

[BasqueClown]

The irony in my life is that I don't be destroyed by mental illness, but because OTHERS induce them to me. First was my ex, who her abusive behaivor, physical and psychological violence created me a deeper depression who let me to my first suicide attempt. I only leave her after six months and asking for help.
Then in november 30 I was arrested in my psychotic episode who I threatened to jump in a bridge and since the toxicology test was positive for weed, alcohol and Molly, the judge changed the criminal chargers to forced psychiatric hospitalization, and the worst part is that I don't remember to agree, or perhaps my family negociated to it.
Well, the thing is when I was recluded both for detox myself of drug abuse and threat depression and psychotic episodes, I was diagnosed for Dissiociative Identity Disorder. The doctor theory is that my drug abuse and genetic influence triggered it. Essentialy, there's at least 2 personalities in me, and the "drug user, nihilistic, self destructive and suicidal personality" is the one who wants to prevail and "take control and kill that little girl (Me) who is pathetic and a mad fairy (In reference of my short height of 152 cm)", supposedly said in a control session without antipsychotics who she (My alter) appeared.
So the public health system insisted that I'm not able to living in society until I accept my Dissiociative disorder and take my pills in a daily basis routine. But I feel even worse because the mixture of abstinence (Yep, I know drugs are bad blablabla), the depression of being unemployed (Because I'm not legally to work, at least with benefits and stuff), the lack of friends (because everybody insists that I must take the meds and living with the Disorder), the lack of my father's support and the self steem problems, since I don't have any girlfriend (I'm lesbian) and my current mental state I have a little energy to take care of hygiene routine and less even beauty routine (Doing hair, nails, make up, etc.).
I insist that my Dissiociative Identity Disorder doesn't exist and the Asenapine is only to make me more submissive and less violent (Since I had a bad behaivor problems all my adult life), and I defend that pill is destroying my brain, in conjuction of the fucking 120mg of duloxetine (I asked to reduce to 60mg but doctor refused), so ironically the imposition of a doubtful diagnosis is destroing my life.
Perhaps one of the goals of my alter is to convince me that she doesn't exist and not to accept the disorder, lol.
The only space I can venting is this forum because seems nobody wants to believe me and that sucks.

 

[SuicidalSheep]

Most of my life yeah. Autism, add, depression/dysthimia, anxeity, ocd, pssd anhedonia, depersonalization, SDAM, hypophantasia, gender identity issues, you get the idea. The remaining is physical loss of senses (blind in one eye with the other eye being unsafe, a sleep disorder that gives severely fragmented sleep without deep sleep so I never feel refreshed and have a million dreams, allergies/reflux, trouble hearing multiple sounds, mild tinnitus, Circumsition that took more away than Usual making me barely able to feel any physical pleasure, etc). But the mental stuff fucked me up for good. Never underestimate the mental, invisible stuff. I've seen people in miserable situations still make the best of it and people in incredibly good situations be depressed as hell.

 

[Raven2]

A psychotic episode ruined my life, now what's left is just a shit show with no way back to life as it was.

 

[Bigsmoke777]

When I look back on my life, yes, actually. Every major problem is to do with that. Even the way your brain works that might not be a diagnosable disorder is in that realm I suppose. For a long time I attributed it to "me/ my nature/ personality".

I'm sorry you're suffering x

Relatable

I really started to doubt mental illnesses as a whole. In my case for example father was beating me and there was no food at home. So they decided to take me to psychiatrist. They diagnosed me with each time different bullshit diagnosis after seeing me for 5 minutes. And so called depression is a normal reaction and is cured instantly with opioids not with antipsychotics which are literal poison or with antidepressants which starts to work after 2 weeks and do very little in terms of lifting your mood and have many side effects. It is a huge business and I don't know how a sane person would believe that after just seeing you for 5 minutes with questions like how do you feel with no testing like MRI or blood test or at least something they can diagnose you. You can do a test and go to 10 different psychiatrists and they will just write whatever bullshit diagnosis in your prescription. They themselves admit that they don't have any proof for their theories about chemical imbalances or other bullshit.

 

[LittleJem]

I really started to doubt mental illnesses as a whole. In my case for example father was beating me and there was no food at home. So they decided to take me to psychiatrist. They diagnosed me with each time different bullshit diagnosis after seeing me for 5 minutes. And so called depression is a normal reaction and is cured instantly with opioids not with antipsychotics which are literal poison or with antidepressants which starts to work after 2 weeks and do very little in terms of lifting your mood and have many side effects. It is a huge business and I don't know how a sane person would believe that after just seeing you for 5 minutes with questions like how do you feel with no testing like MRI or blood test or at least something they can diagnose you. You can do a test and go to 10 different psychiatrists and they will just write whatever bullshit diagnosis in your prescription. They themselves admit that they don't have any proof for their theories about chemical imbalances or other bullshit.

well said. you have articulated one of the things that really pisses me off about psychiatry.