Discussion Anybody else feel this?

[k!tten2423]

I'm too much of a coward/have kids to where I can't and probably will not ever CTB. So I'm always stuck here thinking…while driving, oh maybe today I'll get in a really bad car crash? Sitting in a restaurant or shopping, I wish a shooting would just happen. Or just like…wishing something insane would happen to where I would die and not have to CTB on my own. Anyone else?

 

[Message In A Bottle]

Sometimes…like I wonder as I'm taking a walk down the road, what if I got hit by car right here, right now?

It be a tragic yet unexpected way to die.
All I'd hope for is that it be a quick & painless blow to the head.

Then I switch to how it effect my family. They don't deserve to witness their family member mangled beyond repair.

I eventually snap out of it - till the cycle starts all over again.

 

[k!tten2423]

Sometimes…like I wonder as I'm taking a stroll down the road, what if I got hit by car right here, right now?

It be a tragic yet unexpected way to die.
All I'd hope for is that it be a quick & painless blow to the head.

Then I switch to how it effect my family. They don't deserve to witness their family member mangled beyond repair.

I snap out of it - till the cycle starts all over again.

Definitely is a cycle

 

[LookingOverTheEdge]

Yeah I also have these kind of thoughts. It would be convenient, and it would change the narrative of the event to one that I think people would cope with better.

Depression is a hell of a thing.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I do think like this - today I fantasized about getting a heart attack and dropping dead during a hike. So hard to randomly expire.

 

[_smile_]

I think and wish about this all day long. Like, PICK ME. TAKE ME. I'm right here. I'm ready. Stop taking the people who deserved to live. Why can't life just take me.

 

[theboy]

me 2

 

[k!tten2423]

I think and wish about this all day long. Like, PICK ME. TAKE ME. I'm right here. I'm ready. Stop taking the people who deserved to live. Why can't life just take me.

Exactly.!!!

 

[Archamais]

I'm too much of a coward/have kids to where I can't and probably will not ever CTB. So I'm always stuck here thinking…while driving, oh maybe today I'll get in a really bad car crash? Sitting in a restaurant or shopping, I wish a shooting would just happen. Or just like…wishing something insane would happen to where I would die and not have to CTB on my own. Anyone else?

All the time, I walk home and picture/wish a car driving up on the pavement and hitting me. I'm at work and I think/hope the store will get held up and I'll get shot. I sit on my balcony and picture bombs dropping. I do this all the time. It's exhausting

I think and wish about this all day long. Like, PICK ME. TAKE ME. I'm right here. I'm ready. Stop taking the people who deserved to live. Why can't life just take me.

I agree with you and feel for you... I just can't help but have "Pick me. Choose me. Love me." From Greys Anatomy playing in my head as I read this. I hope that's not insensitive, I just love Greys.

 

[kearmanl76]

I'm too much of a coward/have kids to where I can't and probably will not ever CTB. So I'm always stuck here thinking…while driving, oh maybe today I'll get in a really bad car crash? Sitting in a restaurant or shopping, I wish a shooting would just happen. Or just like…wishing something insane would happen to where I would die and not have to CTB on my own. Anyone else?

I have felt this for as long as I can remember!! I was involved in a really bad accident in April of 2022. I should've died. It sucks knowing I still roam this world. Now I have to live with the disfigurement of that day. Oh how I wish my life was over.

 

[vultureilse]

yeah i constantly daydream about dying in various ways. i wish i didnt have to be the one to end my life

like i wish i could die in a car accident or get sick with some deadly incurable illness or get randomly murdered while walking down the street. i hate that these things happen to innocent people who want to live but not me who wants to be dead so badly, i wish i could give my life to someone else

 

[k!tten2423]

All the time, I walk home and picture/wish a car driving up on the pavement and hitting me. I'm at work and I think/hope the store will get held up and I'll get shot. I sit on my balcony and picture bombs dropping. I do this all the time. It's exhausting

I agree with you and feel for you... I just can't help but have "Pick me. Choose me. Love me." From Greys Anatomy playing in my head as I read this. I hope that's not insensitive, I just love Greys.

It is so exhausting. But gives me some type of weird hope. Like…maybe one day,

yeah i constantly daydream about dying in various ways. i wish i didnt have to be the one to end my life

like i wish i could die in a car accident or get sick with some deadly incurable illness or get randomly murdered while walking down the street. i hate that these things happen to innocent people who want to live but not me who wants to be dead so badly, i wish i could give my life to someone else

That would be awesome to be able to give your life to someone else who you know will definitely want it.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I have covid and i am hoping it takes me out in my sleep, even though it's really not a deadly virus. I am severely overweight so you'd think it'd do the job.....

 

[k!tten2423]

I have covid and i am hoping it takes me out in my sleep, even though it's really not a deadly virus. I am severely overweight so you'd think it'd do the job.....

I got Covid a couple times hoping it would take me out…. Nope…nothing…

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I really do feel that way as I despise existing and see death as being something so perfect and ideal. I would prefer to leave on my own terms but the fact is that suicide is simply not straightforward and involves many complications, risks and difficulties for me so I do wish to somehow just die without having to do it myself, and it makes sense to feel such a way in a world where suicide is unnecessarily so hard for us. I feel extreme envy towards those who die and always wish that it's me. Only the non existent are the really fortunate ones as they are incapable of being tortured and are free from whatever this existence has burdened them with.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Definitely... I always loved that quote in the film 'Fight Club:'

"Marla's philosophy of life, she told me, is that she can die at any moment. The tragedy of her life is that she doesn't."

 

[purplehearted]

same, when i'm driving i just pray someone hits me. i purposely endanger myself so much in everyday situations, wanting something to happen, but nothing ever does. it sucks

 

[Hotsackage]

yes i have family and spiritual concerns. i use to have the will to off myself but even as my gets worst, my will to get through it grows. i do wish i were gone but dont have the balls for reasons stated.

 

[sigil_sara]

I'm too much of a coward/have kids to where I can't and probably will not ever CTB. So I'm always stuck here thinking…while driving, oh maybe today I'll get in a really bad car crash? Sitting in a restaurant or shopping, I wish a shooting would just happen. Or just like…wishing something insane would happen to where I would die and not have to CTB on my own. Anyone else?

I feel like this most days