I don't understand. It's just a gender preference. I admit I'm not gay so it's hard to understand looking at it from the outside. But it's just you, like your eye color. Please don't hate yourself for being gay. It sounds like it is buying into some cultural condemnation and if so, it is just so wrong. Don't allow yourself to be influenced by it.
I know openly gay men and women who don't have the drive to self destruct at all.
I think just because other people see it as simply being another part of them, doesn't mean the person who experiences or owns those traits does.
For instance, plenty of people hate their eye color or other physical things about themselves, it's not who they are, they had no say in it. Really, they have every right to hate it.
Being part of the lgbt crowd is certainly not identical to that scenario, but most seem to feel it is something they were born with. I really don't see a problem if the person themselves just does not feel at home with something they have no control over, but I agree with the notion that society should not be making these people feel any more uncomfortable than some already do. (However, we should not be dismissing any discomfort that remains.)
The ones who have no problems with their divergent gender identity or sexual preference, surely benefit from a more accepting society, but there may still be some who just don't connect with their own urges or an alien sense of self.
We really should not be blaming the sufferer for contributing to "cultural condemnation" just because they have disdain for something about themselves, the fault is not on them and the push for change should not be on their shoulders.
Not when we live in such a cruel and superficial society. Humans are shallow creatures in this regard.
It's your personality that can attract girls to you. The person I know who is trans female is surrounded by girls all the time who all adore her. It's the personality. Fun. Happy. Loving. Empathic. A joy to be with. It's fun to see the pleasure she takes in all things female.
Although she is clearly not born female she gets hit on all the time by men, which she hates. Anyway the point is, hopefully you can overcome some of the problems you face. It sounds like you live in a hateful area. Sorry you are going through such a hard time!
The personality > appearance argument is really just an empty platitude when it comes down to it.
Unless you experience the exact same thing, it's not a good thing to preach. Because for so many, it does not ring true.
The energy some people have to put in, just to compensate for something physically lacking, can really exhaust a person mentally, until they snap or burn out. Not everyone is a social butterfly who seems to absorb balls of energy from the sun and utilize it in their interpersonal relationships. Nor should they be required to. Some people are dark and lonely, miserable or shy, maybe they're bitter from being so broken, doesn't mean they don't deserve the attention that only "catching up", and "making up for" with an over abundance of enthusiasm and smiles will accomplish. There is no area of the world that isn't guilty of making this the only way around other disparities or difficult situations.
