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Memento Mori

Memento Mori

shambling garbage
Jan 24, 2019
573
im part of that but also part psychopathic lol. when i forgot to eat something someone cooked and it got bad i feel so incredibly bad, even though they care a fucking shit. just an example

on the other side its the exact opposite with me

have u ever took empathogens like MDMA?
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I think I have cold empathy lol!
 
Escaper Boy

Escaper Boy

累坏了...
Apr 11, 2019
245
Anyone out there so empathetic that you feel everyone's emotions all the time and you wanna ctb because you just can't take feeling the pain in the world anymore?

Perhaps, you are one of those hypersensitive individual who can sense people's energy around you. You find yourself overwhelmed in the crowded place because you can't stop picking up people's "baggage". In New Age community, these sensitive people are called 'empaths'.

 
Rollo

Rollo

No pasaran
Aug 13, 2018
461
Anyone out there so empathetic that you feel everyone's emotions all the time and you wanna ctb because you just can't take feeling the pain in the world anymore?

Yeah I remember thinking like - when will everyone I feel sorry for and care about finally die so that I can have some ease. It's a mental disease really.

im part of that but also part psychopathic lol. when i forgot to eat something someone cooked and it got bad i feel so incredibly bad, even though they care a fucking shit. just an example

Well if somebody (read - a woman relative) cooked something for you, you forgot to eat it and it got bad - then they typically WILL care at least somewhat.
 
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Marz

Marz

À PEU PRÈS
Aug 3, 2018
170
I don't like the label, but I check almost all requisites. I like the label HSP better, but I still don't identify with it (even when I also meet all the criteria). Sadly, in this society the overly sensitive are not well received.
 
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lost_soul83

Wizard
Jan 7, 2019
638
Perhaps, you are one of those hypersensitive individual who can sense people's energy around you. You find yourself overwhelmed in the crowded place because you can't stop picking up people's "baggage". In New Age community, these sensitive people are called 'empaths'.

That's exactly what I'm saying. I do consider myself an empath and it freakin' sucks! I feel everyone's pain, anxiety, depression, disappointment, etc. and it's just so physically draining that I find myself exhausted all the time.
 
Rollo

Rollo

No pasaran
Aug 13, 2018
461
That's exactly what I'm saying. I do consider myself an empath and it freakin' sucks! I feel everyone's pain, anxiety, depression, disappointment, etc. and it's just so physically draining that I find myself exhausted all the time.

I don't think it's necessarily true that you can't stop picking up people's baggage. Or that the main thing here is that you're oversensitive in the sense that you get a lot of information about people's pain, anxiety etc. I think the main thing here is that you're 'oversensitive' in the sense that you CHOOSE to be partial, to be of service to people in their every little ailment. Thus once you choose it - factual oversensitivity comes as a consequence.
 
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spanishguy22

Enlightened
Apr 9, 2019
1,003
I always was empathetic in general, but more so towards animals. That led me to some trauma.
I can process human deaths of any kind just fine like a normal human but not animal injustice. It's weird and it led me to pains.
 
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RodgerThat

RodgerThat

It's over and out.
Apr 23, 2019
84
I'm pretty much on the other side: I often don't care at all about anything or anyone. It's quite unsettling sometimes and I wish I could feel some human connection...
 
O

Onomotopoeia

Experienced
Feb 8, 2019
264
yes, kind of. not like that article implies though. Chances are I don't care at all about the other person or how they are feeling its just that in general I am going to feel how they do, and probably more intensely.

Seems to happen with everything but joy, go figure...
 
Zzzzz

Zzzzz

Nothing compares to the bliss of death.
Aug 8, 2018
879
Yes. I consider myself an empath in the way the title is referring to.
 
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lost_soul83

Wizard
Jan 7, 2019
638
I don't think it's necessarily true that you can't stop picking up people's baggage. Or that the main thing here is that you're oversensitive in the sense that you get a lot of information about people's pain, anxiety etc. I think the main thing here is that you're 'oversensitive' in the sense that you CHOOSE to be partial, to be of service to people in their every little ailment. Thus once you choose it - factual oversensitivity comes as a consequence.
Well you're obviously not an empath cuz you don't get what I'm saying at all.
 
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Rollo

Rollo

No pasaran
Aug 13, 2018
461
Well you're obviously not an empath cuz you don't get what I'm saying at all.

Yeah I guess you can take this badge of me. Still I do get what you're saying. Once I felt like you are. It's just what I'm saying is that you feel this way by choice. And the choice is to be overly sensitive to world's pain. To be this superempath. A superman for world's ailments.
 
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lost_soul83

Wizard
Jan 7, 2019
638
Yeah I guess you can take this badge of me. Still I do get what you're saying. Once I felt like you are. It's just what I'm saying is that you feel this way by choice. And the choice is to be overly sensitive to world's pain. To be this superempath. A superman for world's ailments.
So you're saying I'm choosing to feel like total garbage ALL THE TIME? So then by your logic I should be able to choose NOT to feel this way. This is why I say you don't "get it" because being an empath isn't something you choose to be or not to be, you simply are or you aren't.
 
Rollo

Rollo

No pasaran
Aug 13, 2018
461
So you're saying I'm choosing to feel like total garbage ALL THE TIME? So then by your logic I should be able to choose NOT to feel this way. This is why I say you don't "get it" because being an empath isn't something you choose to be or not to be, you simply are or you aren't.

Yeah it's basically what I'm saying and also that you're able not to feel this way, although this matter is more complex than just you snapping your fingers. Whether you will choose to and if you will to what extent - that's another issue.

Let me put it this way. I understand you believe you simply are empath without any choice in these matters but if hypothetically you had some choice here - would you make it? Would you make yourself somewhat less of an empath knowing that while it's going to be in your own interest, it's going to cost the world. World will be deprived of certain amount of effort on your part, this energy being reverted to securing your own needs. Even if it's simply you waking up in the morning and thinking about what you want to have for breakfast instead of thinking of world hunger and how we can alleviate it? Would you make such a choice?
 
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spanishguy22

Enlightened
Apr 9, 2019
1,003
Yeah I guess you can take this badge of me. Still I do get what you're saying. Once I felt like you are. It's just what I'm saying is that you feel this way by choice. And the choice is to be overly sensitive to world's pain. To be this superempath. A superman for world's ailments.
You're so wrong it's not even funny lmao. You don't know what you're talking about.
Empathy can't be chosen. You either feel or you don't. You don't choose how you feel.
So you're saying I'm choosing to feel like total garbage ALL THE TIME? So then by your logic I should be able to choose NOT to feel this way. This is why I say you don't "get it" because being an empath isn't something you choose to be or not to be, you simply are or you aren't.
He's like the typical "depressed? Think happy thoughts! people. Don't waste your time, some people just can't get it
 
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Rollo

Rollo

No pasaran
Aug 13, 2018
461
You're so wrong it's not even funny lmao. You don't know what you're talking about.
Empathy can't be chosen. You either feel or you don't. You don't choose how you feel.

Then why are you laughing your ass off if it's not even funny? lol I do know what I'm talking about. When it comes to physical feelings you don't get to choose, but when it comes to emotional feelings you get to choose quite a lot. Otherwise there won't be this insane amount of pressure in societies to feel in certain ways about different subjects. People are being pressured into feeling happy or sad all the time, when others believe it's appropriate.

'Empathy' means action first and foremost, an action of helping someone just for the sake of his well-being while sacrificing your own well-being. Or the choice can be the other way around. And it's between these two that people are constantly choosing, evaluating and re-evaluating. When they have a feeling it's still up to them to choose to what extent this feeling should be implemented.
 
O

Onomotopoeia

Experienced
Feb 8, 2019
264
Then why are you laughing your ass off if it's not even funny? lol I do know what I'm talking about. When it comes to physical feelings you don't get to choose, but when it comes to emotional feelings you get to choose quite a lot. Otherwise there won't be this insane amount of pressure in societies to feel in certain ways about different subjects. People are being pressured into feeling happy or sad all the time, when others believe it's appropriate.

'Empathy' means action first and foremost, an action of helping someone just for the sake of his well-being while sacrificing your own well-being. Or the choice can be the other way around. And it's between these two that people are constantly choosing, evaluating and re-evaluating. When they have a feeling it's still up to them to choose to what extent this feeling should be implemented.


We can choose what we do with out emotions, how long we linger on them, how we react to them. So I will agree with you that there is a degree of ability in our response to said emotion but still not the emotion itself.

Empathy absolutely does not mean action though. Empathy in itself is completely lacking in action. You can feel empathy without acting on it, I do it all the time. Sorry your stressed I feel that also so i'm walking away from you so I do not feel it coming from you.

You can help absolutely nobody and still be empathetic. I don't sacrifice my well being for anybody i'm quite selfish in that regard but it does not mean i'm not empathetic it simply means i dont act on it
 
Rollo

Rollo

No pasaran
Aug 13, 2018
461
We can choose what we do with out emotions, how long we linger on them, how we react to them. So I will agree with you that there is a degree of ability in our response to said emotion but still not the emotion itself.

Empathy absolutely does not mean action though. Empathy in itself is completely lacking in action. You can feel empathy without acting on it, I do it all the time. Sorry your stressed I feel that also so i'm walking away from you so I do not feel it coming from you.

You can help absolutely nobody and still be empathetic. I don't sacrifice my well being for anybody i'm quite selfish in that regard but it does not mean i'm not empathetic it simply means i dont act on it

Well to me if what you're saying is an entirely accurate description of how you are - it does mean you're not empathetic. I don't really care about feelings, to me only actions matter, and actions come from priorities of values. So if your priorities are such that you never ever sacrifice your well-being for anyone in any circumstances, then it means you don't really value it in any measurable way.

Empathy is a value. A goal. And goal always means action if it indeed exists. To which extent an action will be taken - that's another issue, it depends upon the relative importance of value. But value without any action under any circumstances - there's no such thing.

You can't be selfish in regard of sacrficing your well-being for somebody but be unselfish in some other regards. There are no other regards. It's just that you can be selfish in certain circumstances, but be unselfish in different circumstances.
 
O

Onomotopoeia

Experienced
Feb 8, 2019
264
this is the point i'm trying to make though having empathy is NOT in any way an action. You can be empathic and take actions based on that.

Empathy is not a value

from google


em·pa·thy

/ˈempəTHē/
noun

  1. the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

    You can understand and share in others feelings without doing anything to improve how they feel.

you may value action over feeling and thats a valid approach when deciding how much value someone or something brings to you. Still, you cant create your own definition of empathy. It's not a value it's the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. No action required. I can and do understand and share the feelings of nearly everyone that crosses my path.

You can't be selfish in regard of sacrficing your well-being for somebody but be unselfish in some other regards. There are no other regards. It's just that you can be selfish in certain circumstances, but be unselfish in different circumstances.

This is also false. I can absolutely be selfish and not sacrifice my well-being and still choose to be less selfish in other areas. They are not exclusive.

If someone is hungry I can buy them lunch there is no sacrifice in my well-being just my wallet. It's not selfish, I could have easily kept that money for myself but chose not to. Still no cost to my well being.

Don't get me wrong I dont care much one way or another but I enjoy a healthy debate.

I can absolutely be empathetic without turning that empathy into something actionable. People do this all the time and i'd argue its genuine a lot of the time.
Easiest example I have is anyone who has lost someone truly close them will likely to be able to empathize with someone else's loss. In almost all cases there is literally no action that can help them, but it's still empathy. They understand and share those feelings.
 
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DeathSaves

DeathSaves

Member
Apr 19, 2019
45
I might be an empath. Does anyone have any info what cannabis will do to such abilities?
Btw, i effing hate sunlight, not to mention being awake when people are awake too... The only moments i feel truly at ease are the middle of night. I think this might have something to do with being able to "sense" people, somehow...
 
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Rollo

Rollo

No pasaran
Aug 13, 2018
461
this is the point i'm trying to make though having empathy is NOT in any way an action. You can be empathic and take actions based on that.

Empathy is not a value

from google


em·pa·thy

/ˈempəTHē/
noun

  1. the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

    You can understand and share in others feelings without doing anything to improve how they feel.
you may value action over feeling and thats a valid approach when deciding how much value someone or something brings to you. Still, you cant create your own definition of empathy. It's not a value it's the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. No action required. I can and do understand and share the feelings of nearly everyone that crosses my path.

I'm not trying to create my own definition of empathy. You can check wiki for empathy and read under 'definitions' section, especially the part about it having a broad range of definitions. What you're saying is empathy is simply understanding how a person feels. Tell me then - what exactly do you mean by 'sharing' a feeling? See it's this 'sharing' part that is when you value other person's well-being. And that's how the term is most commonly used - compassion when understanding what another is going through. In Russia they call it 'co-suffering' and include it in the definition of empathy. And it's what OP means by 'feeling the world's pain'. It's not a mere factual understanding (however animated), it has this element of caring, of attending to another's needs.


This is also false. I can absolutely be selfish and not sacrifice my well-being and still choose to be less selfish in other areas. They are not exclusive.

If someone is hungry I can buy them lunch there is no sacrifice in my well-being just my wallet. It's not selfish, I could have easily kept that money for myself but chose not to. Still no cost to my well being.

Don't get me wrong I dont care much one way or another but I enjoy a healthy debate.

I can absolutely be empathetic without turning that empathy into something actionable. People do this all the time and i'd argue its genuine a lot of the time.
Easiest example I have is anyone who has lost someone truly close them will likely to be able to empathize with someone else's loss. In almost all cases there is literally no action that can help them, but it's still empathy. They understand and share those feelings.

But this is exactly what I said - you can be selfish in one instance, and unselfish in another. But being unselfish always involves sacrifice on your part. Your wallet is part of your well-being.

In cases you mentioned there's a whole bunch of action that can help them, or at the very least is taken with such a purpose in mind. Like people doing their best not to upset those grieving. So when it's genuine it always constitutes a value.
 
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Memento Mori

Memento Mori

shambling garbage
Jan 24, 2019
573
Well if somebody (read - a woman relative) cooked something for you, you forgot to eat it and it got bad - then they typically WILL care at least somewhat.

thats why i mentioned it as an example. lets say someone buys a 50 cent salad for u and u dont eat it before it got bad, and that guy found 500€, i would still feel bad. at the same time i dont spend a thought on how other ppl feel because of my behaviour, im not a bad guy but fucking dumb headed.
 
marcusuk63

marcusuk63

CTB
Mar 24, 2019
1,735
I'm pretty much on the other side: I often don't care at all about anything or anyone. It's quite unsettling sometimes and I wish I could feel some human connection...
i am the same , when my mum and dad drop in and mum starts non stop talking about my siblings , nieces , nephews and my 5 grandkids , i feel like screaming , will you shut up i have no interest in what any of them are doing ! horrible of me i know but i really dont care or ever have cared about what other people do , mum and dad are both mid 80s but more like 60 year olds and i`m one of six so thats a lot of grandkids and great grandkids she has to talk about lol
 
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Rollo

Rollo

No pasaran
Aug 13, 2018
461
thats why i mentioned it as an example. lets say someone buys a 50 cent salad for u and u dont eat it before it got bad, and that guy found 500€, i would still feel bad. at the same time i dont spend a thought on how other ppl feel because of my behaviour, im not a bad guy but fucking dumb headed.

Well obviously you do spend some thought on how they feel if you say you feel incredibly bad when you hurt their feelings.
 
Memento Mori

Memento Mori

shambling garbage
Jan 24, 2019
573
Well obviously you do spend some thought on how they feel if you say you feel incredibly bad when you hurt their feelings.

but where is the sense in feeling bad because i threw away an apple and not feeling bad when i accidentaly killed their pet. (another bad example)

i think you should get what i mean :(
 
Rollo

Rollo

No pasaran
Aug 13, 2018
461
but where is the sense in feeling bad because i threw away an apple and not feeling bad when i accidentaly killed their pet. (another bad example)

i think you should get what i mean :(

When you throw out an apple which they prepared for you - you neglect them while they're caring about you. While if you kill their pet - there's no such element. Although if you killed a pet of someone who cares about you - it's strange you won't feel bad if otherwise you feel bad about as comparatively liitle as throwing away an apple. Still you be the better judge here.
 

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